Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?

strawberry5889 · November 2011

Children are allowed at the ceremony but I want my reception to to be for adults only..... is this rude? Are any of you doing this

mahoganieyes · November 2011

We put adult reception on our reception and rsvp card. Some knotties call it rude, but I find it rude to assume your kids are welcome to a wedding. Sit down dinner...check! Open bar...check! So where does it say kids are invited? I put it down and only 1 person ended up bringing her kid. Rolling my eyes. Claimed her baby's daddy would not take the baby but she decided to bring the 1yr and of course when the bestmen started toasts, the baby started crying. Also this same mother dranked and was definetly light weight drunk. I heard she had problems pushing the stroller after all her drinks....

missowens · November 2011

Nope, it isn't. I'm doing the no-kid ceremony/reception as well. The only exception is my niece and two nephews, they're are going to be in the wedding anyway.

Soon2BSand · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:c4fc6233-9553-4048-8f85-223c32668679">Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Children are <strong>allowed at the ceremony but I want my reception to to be for adults only</strong>..... <strong>is this rude?</strong> Are any of you doing this
Posted by strawberry5889[/QUOTE]

<div>Yes.</div><div>
</div><div>What are people to do with their children after they bring them to the ceremony? Are you going to provide day care? Do you have ceremony only RSVP as an option?</div><div>
</div><div>Either have no children at all or allow them. You'll end up with people who RSVP yes to the reception and end up not coming bc they can't bring their children and then you've wasted money.</div>

ymw6110 · November 2011

I am having an adult only reception. All of my guest are coming in from out of town so they will have to leave their kids at home. I want my friends and family there, but I can't afford to pay $50 a head for chicken finger childs plates. Also, I am having an open bar at a swanky, chic hotel, so the atmosphere is not really child friendly/appropriate. Not having a jr bridal party either.

hmacsine · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:f02b8f05-e573-4975-973e-7440b5d22968">Re: Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]I <strong>Either have no children at all or allow them. You'll end up with people who RSVP yes to the reception and end up not coming bc they can't bring their children and then you've wasted money</strong>.
Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]

I agree it is rude. all or nothing

Carla1019 · November 2011

I agree that it would be a lot easier on you to select no kids for both then to have people bring kids to the ceremony and not reception.

I choose to not have children especially at the ceremony because I don't want a young child misbehaving while we are exchanging vows.

kaimah · November 2011

I agree. I am not allowing kids at my reception.

My reception is in a hotel. I have an extra room for children.

brandidt84 · November 2011

No its not rude.. I'm having an adult only ceremony/reception. The only kids that will be their are the kids in the wedding..

Soon2BSand · November 2011

To clarify... I think allowing children at one but not the other is rude and inconsiderate. I don't, however, think having adult only events is rude. I'm with PP on children at ceremonies too...I'd be annoyed if a baby screamed just as I said I do or a two year old had a tantrum as we kissed. Lol

djscat · November 2011

instead of putting it on your invitation put it on your website and have you parents and BP spread the word that it is an adults only affair.

MrsJenrette · November 2011

I'm only allowing family to bring their children.

My sister had to do the same thing, and there was not ONE peep out of the children at the ceremony, and the reception was GREAT!.. I know it would offend my family, especially my sister who has 2 very young boys (one of which is in the wedding). Sometimes, things like that are unavoidable.

kiyamurph · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:f02b8f05-e573-4975-973e-7440b5d22968">Re: Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception? : Yes. What are people to do with their children after they bring them to the ceremony? Are you going to provide day care? Do you have ceremony only RSVP as an option? Either have no children at all or allow them. You'll end up with people who RSVP yes to the reception and end up not coming bc they can't bring their children and then you've wasted money.
Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Exactly this! You can't have one but not the other. It has to be either all or nothing. Just remember that newborns are the exception to the rule. </div><div>
</div><div>

</div>

MrsSmith2Be02 · November 2011

Not at all. I'm planning on having an Adult Only Reception myself and the only children that will be there will be those that are in the Wedding party (2 of them are mine, 2 are my cousins, and the other 1 is my Goddaughter). We're also having a separate Kid's Suite at the Hotel for them to be entertained by event sitters while we have a grand ole time!

MrsBoss2012 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:d1ad43ad-7b65-403a-81d5-ccb934fa9b79">Re: Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]To clarify... I think allowing children at one but not the other is rude and inconsiderate. I don't, however, think having adult only events is rude. I'm with PP on children at ceremonies too...<strong>I'd be annoyed if a baby screamed just as I said I do or a two year old had a tantrum as we kissed. Lol
</strong>Posted by Soon2BSand[/QUOTE]

THIS!!

2010Bride2be · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:c4fc6233-9553-4048-8f85-223c32668679">Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Children are allowed at the ceremony but I want my reception to to be for adults only..... is this rude? Are any of you doing this
Posted by strawberry5889[/QUOTE]

Yes, it's rude. You can't say that children are allowed at the ceremony but not at the reception. HOWEVER....there is a way around this if it's what you really want. Hire a sitter. For example, you are having your reception in the ballroom of a hotel, you can reserve a suite with a sitter or multiple sitters. Guests can take their children to this room and they will be attended to. Have games, activities and food for the kids.

If you're not willing to do the above, then you will need to address your invitiations directly to the guests that are invited. For example: Mr. & Mrs. Smith. If Mr. & Mrs. Smith try to RSVP for their children, call them and explain that the invitation was for them only and you are having an adult only affair.

Shia · November 2011

I am having a adult only reception and ceremony only, except for the flower girl, ring bearer, my two teenage brothers, Jr Bridesmaid and the 2 (Out of Town) guests children. My family is not happy about it, but I am only have 80-85 guest and I am not going to give up 22 seats for children verse 22 of our friends.

ladychambers83 · November 2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_rude-request-children-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:432057fc-793e-415e-971b-ff9706311ccdPost:d7919805-89b6-42c9-8d47-143baccbf55d">Re: Is It Rude To Request No Children At Our Reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]Nope, it isn't. <strong> I'm doing the no-kid ceremony/reception as well. The only exception is my niece and two nephews, they're are going to be in the wedding anyway.</strong>
Posted by missowens[/QUOTE]

This! except its my nephew and his niece ;)

ludajean · November 2011

I do not think this is rude at all. I didn't feel any way about it at first- that is until I started planning my wedding. We are paying 40 per plate. So I totally understand not having kids at you wedding/reception. Those parents who think it's rude know good and well they would not ever spend that much on their child to have dinner-EVER. My FI insisted that we allow kids, since he is paying for the reception - I agreed. I will just have to keep my fingers crossed and pray everything
goes well.

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