Wedding Etiquette Forum

Couple never cashed our check

We went to a wedding three months ago, forgot the card at home, and mailed it to the couple the very next day with a check.  After a month went by I sent a quick message asking if they got our card in the mail because I was worried it had never arrived.  I did not get a response, and then a few weeks later we got a card thanking us for our generous gift.  The strange thing is, they still have not cashed our check.  I am not sure if it never arrived or if they lost it, but now we are in an awkward position.  Any thoughts on how the best way to handle this is?

Re: Couple never cashed our check

  • I would contact them and ask them about the check again.
  • Soooo, what you're saying is I should go to the bank with all of the uncashed cheques from the wedding?

    Gotcha.

    "You can take your etiquette and shove it!" ~misscarolb
  • Who did you make the check out to?  I've heard of some couples having issues cashing/depositing checks due to naming issues, but I can't remember the exact details - I imagine it has to do with the woman changing her name though.
  • I did make the check out to Mr. & Mrs. so that could be the issue, but I did not have trouble when I got married.  I have also been to 2 weddings since then and neither of them had trouble either.  I guess I will have to contact them again.  It will jsut be awkward since they already sent a thank you.  So they either thanked us when they did not actually recieve it or they lost it.....
  • they probably think we never really gave them a gift!  ugh, why did I leave the card at home!
  • Yeah, I'd just call and explain that you sent a card with a cheque and ask if they got it as you noticed the cheque was not cashed.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-never-cashed-check?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bc75441-39e4-4947-bf77-b8e492cfe2a2Post:b6a1ddbb-60b8-4cac-9372-043373bb18f1">Re: Couple never cashed our check</a>:
    [QUOTE]Who did you make the check out to?  I've heard of some couples having issues cashing/depositing checks due to naming issues, but I can't remember the exact details - I imagine it has to do with the woman changing her name though.
    Posted by Kati0105[/QUOTE]

    This happened to us, and we still have yet to cash two checks from our wedding months ago. Since they were written to both of us, we both have to be at the bank to sign, and I didn't change my name so technically it's not even addressed to me at all, just the fictional wife me. That's going to be a hassle at the bank, I'm sure. I always address wedding checks to whoever I know best, the bride or groom, just in case.

    In this case, I would contact them again just to check. I think people understand that not cashing a check gets peoples' balances off.



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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_couple-never-cashed-check?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:8bc75441-39e4-4947-bf77-b8e492cfe2a2Post:bef095ac-2fa7-421d-89f9-d80e86f29fd4">Re: Couple never cashed our check</a>:
    [QUOTE]I did make the check out to Mr. & Mrs. so that could be the issue, but I did not have trouble when I got married.  I have also been to 2 weddings since then and neither of them had trouble either. 
    Posted by jersey828[/QUOTE]

    Whether or not they've been able to cash the cheque depends on whether they have a joint account, and what names are on the joint account. We didn't have a joint account before the wedding, so we weren't able to cash any "Mr. & Mrs." cheques until we opened one a few weeks later. If they thanked you for your "generous gift" they probably already got the cheque.
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  • I would just email them again, explain that it hasn't been cashed yet and see what they say.  It might be that they haven't been to the bank together yet like beatlesgirl said. 
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