Any Advice..

magsame · May 2011

So my fiance had to move to south florida for work and I am alone in north florida trying to plan this wedding. I haven't done anything yet...I mean nothing. It's hard because he hardly gets time off and is 3 hours away.

So should I start looking at caterers and photographers alone? Isn't that weird? hah It's really hard and I just don't know what to do!

erica

em01092 · May 2011

Dude, your name is Erica too? BALLIN.

Anyway, no I do NOT think that is weird at all. I go to school in South GA and my FI lives 4 hours away in North GA (where we will be getting married) I am doing a lot of stuff on my own about contacting vendors and whatnot.

We are getting married in his hometown, so naturally when we were there visiting his family for the holidays, we did some wedding planning stuff-booked the venue, talked with caterer and florist, etc. I'm going back this summer alone though, maybe having my grandma and his mom tag along.

I talked to our photographer alone. He talked with the preacher at Easter alone since I was not able to attend. I have also been emailing lots of people, whereas he has not.

As long as you talk about what needs to be done, only one of you really needs to do the paperwork. It also depends on how involved your FI is. He may care less about going to look at BM dresses, flowers, or cake, but he might want to go with you to hear a band or to the food tasting. Just figure out what is the most important to him and you, then decide what you'd rather do together. Plan on doing those things when he visits. Then do the other stuff any other time.

Good luck!

mybestfriend4eva · May 2011

I agree with Em! This isnt weird and its just a part of your unique relationship. I live with my FI and I have gone to the DJ, photographer, wedding cord, and even looked at a few venues without him. And he lives in the same house as me. So dont think its weird and I think as long as you make sure you are communicating with him about what needs to be done and when and are making sure to give him details of everything you see and or do so that you can make sure he is okay with them then all should be fine. Some guys dont really get into wedding planning (shocking right???) LOL I know mine is only worried about getting his attire, caterer, cake, and officiant. Other than that im pretty much taking care of the rest! Good luck and remember to breathe.

rardito · May 2011

I have done pretty much everything myself, and we live together. I had to force him to even come with me to start a registry. I went to the venue with my parents, picked the colors/date/theme myself, and have started the guest list. I got the officiant (who happens to be a coworker of his and my mother's) and have started emailing photographers. I did get him to pick almost all of his side of the wedding party at least...

The only things that I would be worried about doing together are the registries (which you could even do online together), food/cake tasting, and maybe the venue. Oh, and maybe picking out the wedding rings...haha. It just depends on how much the guy is into weddings/planning things.

cfdittrich · May 2011

That is NOT weird at all!!! I have done the majority of the appointments because my FI is going to school with 18 credit hours. He was able to go to our catering appt yesterday but other than that, I've done the venue, photographer, and DJ on my own. Just make sure you share with him your thoughts about everything you've done. My FI doesn't really care that much so I just let him know what I want, and we book it.

And that's OK with me. We can't make them REALLY care about all of the planning stuff, ya know?

meganb1977 · May 2011

Not weird at all. If you both want for him to be involved, given e-mail, Skype, smart phones, and all the other things available for the two of you to communicate, if you're both OK with it, you can spend the time doing the legwork and sorting through the information and he can help you make the final decisions and he will be able to make the most of any time he takes off or weekends he comes in to help you with wedding plans. There should be many things like flowers, invitations, colors, and etc. which you can share ideas by e-mailing pictures and discussing over the phone. Hope everything goes smoothly for you!

ayer4190 · May 2011

I agree with the other ladies. It is not weird at all. My FI and I also live together and I took my mom to look at venues. We brought my dad and FI once we picked the one we loved. I picked the pastor, DJ (we did meet him together though), and met with the photographer by myself because he works full-time and is getting his masters degree. I fill him in and ask him what he thinks if I'm not sure, but I have definitely met with and researched vendors and venues without him. I would start to visit venues. Then save your favorite 2 for next time he's home. You can then set your date. Once that's set you can book your other vendors! Good luck!!

em01092 · May 2011

Yeah I agree with PPs about doing registries together, since those items are for him too! You can do them online though, so you could make the account, add what you want, and then he could log on and do the same, if you can't make it to the store together. He will also likely want to pick out his own ring!

magsame · May 2011

alright, I don't feel so bad now! I guess the issue is that he wants to be in on everything! Weird huh?

Thanks for all the advice!

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