Pre-wedding Parties

Strippers at MY house?!?!?!

Hi everyone!  Just need your opinion/help!  For my fiance's bachelor party his best man(his brother) plans to take him and the guys out bar hopping and to a strip club(s).  All this is fine with me, except I just heard that he plans to finish the party at my house (which my FH and I own) and he is having strippers come to the house!  I am completely fine with strip clubs and I trust my FH completely, but I feel that having strippers come in to MY home is crossing a line. Am I being irrational about this? I want them to have a good time and I dont want to ruin it, but I really dont feel this is appropriate.  The only reason I found out is one of FHs groomsmen is married to my best friend so they both told me. FH doesnt know about any of these plans.  I wont be home because I work the night shift and thats one of my nights to work. HELP!

Re: Strippers at MY house?!?!?!

  • blush64blush64 member
    Sixth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    It's an issue that you need to discuss with your FI.

    It's not so much about trust, it's respect. If you don't feel right with something talk to him about it.  He loves you so I am sure he will be open to talking to his best man about the plans. (leave the strippers at the club, no need to have them in your home) You are completely ok for not wanting them there. Some women wouldn't care but it really only matters what you and your FI feel.

    If you prefer talk to the best man. I would rather talk to my FI and set boundaries so that he could have that talk with his brother.

    Just a note, I trust my FI completely but I would not be ok with strippers. I don't think trust has to anything to do with not approving of going to a strip club.

    EDIT I find it so rude and unfair for a bestman to plan something like this without talking to the groom or bride to find out what the limits should be.  Obviously he wouldn't want to cause trouble or anything but still. Having fun is great but it shouldn't cause trouble, upset, disrespect to the bride and groom.
  • JCM10JCM10 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Definitely take this up with your FI's brother. It's totally different to go to a club that to have them in your private home. I think you're totally reasonable. It's your property too. And I'm with PP--I trust my fiance too, but am totally not okay with strip clubs. 
  • edited December 2011
    I, too, am fine w FI going to a strip club. I have been there with him even. But I'd be upset if his best friends thought they were bringing strippers to my home. II don't want any of that going on in my own house. If u are uncomfortable with it, by all means speak up now. Before it's too late. I know I would. It is not unreasonable for u to speak your mind on that. His best friends shouldn't do anything u aren't comfortable with. They should be happy u are ok w the strip club. I know some women aren't.
  • edited December 2011
    Definitely talk to your FI about it first.  Set boundries for both of you if you have not already.  Explain to him why this is uncomfortable for you.  I think he should approach this with the guys and let him know what the limits are for the night.  In my opinion it will come across better from him than from you. 

    FWIW, I totally agree wtih you and would not be comfortable with strippers in my home.  Not thrilled if my FI wants to go to a strip club (which he probably won't) but I won't stop him. Stripper in my home though...I'd draw a line.

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  • freebread03freebread03 member
    1000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 250 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    I personally wouldn't have problems with strippers, but probably wouldn't want them in my house (on my furniture, etc).  Can't they compromise and have it at someone else's house (i.e. one of the guys who lives by himself or with roomies?  or rent a hotel suite?)
  • edited December 2011
    Ew., that's all I got.
  • edited December 2011
    Ok wow I never thought I would say this out loud but I am fairly sure that noone I know will read this...Here it goes....Back in the day...and I mean waaaay back. I worked at a strip club for a short time. A lot of these girls are good girls who are single mothers or putting themselves through school BUT There are a lot that do drugs and turn tricks on the side. Usually the ones that do private partys do much more than dance! Please put your foot down and say NO WAY to having them in your home. It's not a matter of trusting your FI but a matter or trusting his friends and most importantly the strippers (which believe me you can't!)  If you would like to talk to me about this more you can message me.
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  • jerseydeviljerseydevil member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    You are not being irrational about this at all. My answer would be ABSOLUTELY NOT!

    At least in the club, they are in a public place and need to abide by the "no touching" rules, etc. In a private home, I imagine all bets would be off and it invites the potential for more stuff to happen.

    It would be extremely disrespectful to you if they do this even after you voice your discomfort. I hope the talk with your FI's friends goes well about this! I know I'd be talking to them.

  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all the support! I just wanted to make sure I wasnt being completely irrational!  I will have to talk to his brother about it-if that doesnt work Ill discuss it with my FI. (the only reason I havent talked to my FI about it is because everything is a total surprise, even when it is, and I dont want to ruin that)  If nothing else works I can always call in sick and plant myself right in my living room for when they get home! Lets hope it doesnt go that far!
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