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HELP!

lnlavequelnlaveque member
10 Comments
in Michigan-Detroit
I need some help. My fiance's younger brother's girlfriend was suppose to be a bridesmaid in our wedding. They have been problems for the past 5 months. They have been broken up for about a month but were still friends. A couple days ago she told my fiance's younger brother that she wanted to be done completely.  She texted me and said she is unable to fill her obligation as a bridesmaid. Which is fine, considering it would probably be awkward anyway.

But how do I ask someone else without making them feel like second best? Or hurting their feelings?
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Re: HELP!

  • rcj2rcdrcj2rcd
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't ask anyone else - it definitely screams "you were on my BM b-list". Don't worry, you don't need matching sides, it's pretty common now.
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  • db1985db1985 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I don't think there is a way to ask someone else without making them feel hurt that they were second choice  Your bridesmaids are supposed to be those closest to you, I dont think you should ask someone else just to even things out. Theres no reason the Groomsmen and Bridesmaids have to be even. You could have the Best man stand up at the front with your groom and the other wedding party walk in pairs, You could have one of your girls walk with 2 guys, or you could just have someone walk alone.  Trust me, all the attention will be on you, not the number in your party.
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  • emarston1emarston1 member
    5000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Agreed.  Don't ask someone else to fill her place, it just screams "you weren't good enough the first time around but now that someone I really wanted can't do it, I guess you'll do."  Even though this is not your intention, this is how it comes across.

    Just have uneven sides, no biggie :)
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  • Meegles4Meegles4 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    You don't ask someone else. My cousin recently found out she's pregnant and due one month after my wedding. She lives out of state and would be unable to travel to be a bridesmaid.

    I'm not asking anyone else, and we will just have one less female. No big deal.
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  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    edited December 2011
    ITA with the prior posters. Uneven sides are fine.
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  • kd1986kd1986
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'll be honest, in 2 separate situations I've been asked to be a bridesmaid after another bridesmaid has A) gotten pregnant and B) had a falling out with the bride, and I have to say it worked out wonderfully!  I was so ecstatic to even be asked to be in the weddings, that I could care less about being asked after the fact!

    I think if you want to ask someone else, ask them!  Chances are, they'll be honored to stand by your side on your wedding day.  Don't ask someone else just for the sake of "making the sides even", but if you genuinly have another girl in mind who you'd love to be in your wedding, I say go for it!
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