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Fiance Needs to be Baptized

Knottie6cd98948dcce890bKnottie6cd98948dcce890b member
Seventh Anniversary 100 Comments
in Massachusetts-Boston
My FI needs to be baptized by the Episcoplian Church before we are allowed to be married in a Catholic Church. He's REALLY not happy about it and doesn't want to do it at all. Does anyone know of a church that will "go easy" on him?

TIA
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Re: Fiance Needs to be Baptized

  • jay10jay10 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    was he ever baptized? I dont know any church that would allow that....we have to produce baptism and confirmation certificates for our church
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  • thedivaonethedivaone member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I'm confused, he's never been baptized or confirmed at all?  Are you getting married in a Catholic ceremony?  Is there any particular reason you need him to get baptized by an Episcopal priest? 

    I'm an Episcopalian and I know a lot of the Episcopal churches in the Boston area, so I can make some recommendations for you, but I'm a little confused as to the need for an Episcopal church in specific.
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  • evseidlevseidl
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    ... MCK, if he doesn't WANT to be baptized... why is this even a question?  Don't have the ceremony in a place that won't allow him!!

    For the record, any church will baptize and will accept records from any other church.  There is often a LONG process- such as confirmation and communion that needs to occur first.  Neither of which are short processes in time, energy, or finances.  

    btw, the term 'go easy' on him doesn't exist with religion.  It is what it is. 
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  • lburkey21lburkey21 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_massachusetts-boston_fiance-needs-baptized?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:89Discussion:059e3cd5-71b3-4954-8b77-53dea1560d91Post:01edf805-4d67-4bfb-b396-c277b5107a9e">Re: Fiance Needs to be Baptized</a>:
    [QUOTE]... MCK, if he doesn't WANT to be baptized... why is this even a question?  Don't have the ceremony in a place that won't allow him!! For the record, any church will baptize and will accept records from any other church.  There is often a LONG process- such as confirmation and communion that needs to occur first.  Neither of which are short processes in time, energy, or finances.   btw, the term 'go easy' on him doesn't exist with religion.  It is what it is. 
    Posted by evseidl[/QUOTE]

    Exactly this. If your FI doesn't want to do it, he shouldn't be forced to do it.

    Also, only one of you should need to be Catholic in order to be married in the Catholic church. And if the church your getting married in says otherwise - I'd look elsewhere.
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  • LyssaBellaLyssaBella
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    If you are getting married in a Catholic church both parties need to have been baptized. It doesn't mean you have to be baptized by the Catholic church you just have to be baptized in general. If I'm not mistaken you also have to had received the Sacrament of First Communion as well?? I know Confirmation isn't that big of a deal to them as my FI hasn't received Confirmation and the Priest said it was ok. (though I think in his nervousness when we spoke to the priest he agreed to be confirmed lol) And an Adult course in Confirmation etc is only 6 weeks so its not that much time.

    In saying this though...if your FI really doesn't want to be baptized he shouldn't have to be. Can you get married elsewhere or do you have to be married in the Catholic church? What church is it if you don't mind me asking? Some Catholic churches have Deacons and Priests who are pretty "modern" and let things slide. Some on the other hand, well they still think we are living in archaic times!  If there is anything I can help with PM me and we can chat. I have been dealing with alot of "red tape" because my FI was previously married.  Best of luck lady!
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  • spucciospuccio
    500 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Let me get this straight. Your fiance doesn't want to get baptized, which as an adult, would be an act of spiritual committment by a person who has a desire to grow his own faith. He doesn't feel good about making that decision. You, in all your  its-my-day bridal glory, continue to plan a Catholic ceremony that won't recognize his position on his faith. And somehow you think its a better idea to search around for a church that will "go easy on him" rather than reconsider your own involvement in the matter?

    How 'bout this, babe: YOU go easy on him. If you can't compromise or have an honest, productive conversation with your fiance about this, marriage ain't going to be so hot either. Religion is a big effing deal, and it doesn't stop there...your married life together as a family will require compromise in financial management, parenting, major healthcare decisions and viewpoints, careers, homebuying/selling, etc etc.

    This far into your engagement, you need to start showing your fiance some mutual respect, and NOW. Stop planning your wedding and start considering your marriage.

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