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Squadron Invites

firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
in Military Brides
First off HI!
I've been using the knot community for a couple months now but didn't realize there was a military board until tonight! haha!

I just wanted to vent a little and ask: How do you invite SOME from the unit/squadron/company/etc but not all? We have SOOO many people that we "should" invite but we're keeping the wedding small.
SOOO many people in my FI's squadron are just... assuming they are invited. It's annoying! Especially the single guys because they don't realize that weddings cost big bucks and we all know they just want a free party.
Thoughts on how you are dealing with this?
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Re: Squadron Invites

  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would never even dream of inviting the whole squadron. We're not even inviting FI's whole shop (like a platoon size). It's appropriate etiquette wise to invite his direct supervisor and the CO (for officers, this is according to my handy Marine Officer's Handbook, something all wannabes should have). We're inviting a couple guys that FI is close to, plus his direct supervisor and his OIC. I doubt his OIC will come.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011

    Oh wow I didn't even realize. Thanks for the heads up on the CO/XO those are his only direct supers since he's a pilot.

    Yeah we took the list of officers in his squadron and crossed off all the guys I don't know.. then made a round of the people we don't like, and have narrowed it down to about 20 but that's still too many.

    But there are sooo many single guys that I don't even know that are assuming they get to go.

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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    It's okay to invite some people from work and not others.   Obviously there are some people you are closer with than others.   Just narrow down the list the best you can, and send invitations out to those people/couples.   Presumably, if the single guys who think they are going to be invited don't get inviations, then they will know they're not invited:-)   But it wouldn't hurt for your husband to drop hints that you guys have budget/space limitations.  I think people will understand.

    I'm AD in a flying squadron, and there have been some weddings where the whole squadron has been invited (though usually only about half shows up), and some weddings where only a few people have received invitations.   It's never been a big deal when only certain people get invitations.   

    Maybe after the wedding you guys can host a barbecue or something at your house for the whole squadron?
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Yeah that's what we're thinking. We bought our house here in washington a year an da half ago and the FI deployed so we haven't had many people over yet. This summer would be perfect for it. I think the wives of couples that won't be invited will be more hurt than anyone else honestly.
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I would not care at all if I was not invited to a wedding of someone I didn't know/barely know. I work full time, and pretty opposite hours from FI, and I like my Saturdays/Sundays. I'd make an exception for someone I know well, but I'd be totally down to not have to go to help FI keep up work appearances. You're probably doing them a favor. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    well that's the problem: He knows EVERY officer in the squadron REALLY well because there aren't many... probably about 40 or so. I know almost all of them as well, but we have narrowed it down to who do we both know that we have hung out with outside of the squadron and haven't had any scuffs with. I just worry about offending a bunch of wives or single guys (especially bc single guys haven't done the planning of a wedding to understand how complicated and expensive they get)
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Firsttimers- which base is your H at?  Totally not related to your question, but just curious because we are in the area.  You can send me a private message instead if you want.

    We got married while H was on shore duty and was recruiting.  The office changed a lot but there was always about 6 people in there, and they did a lot with the other offices in the area.  We decided just to invite the people from his office and their wives, since those were the people he saw on a daily basis, and the people we had a relationship with outside of his work as well.  
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I was saying that the random wives won't care since they don't/barely know you. As far as the other AD people, I don't see them caring that much. We tend to think our weddings are the most exciting thing/best party ever, but other people (especially dudes) don't care as much even if it is free food/booze.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    PM'ed you :)
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  • Beachy730Beachy730 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    PM back at you.
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    now if only i knew how to get to my inbox... lol!
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    It's on the left side, under all the names of the boards, it says "My community links". One of them is private messages.
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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  • SamiJoeBSamiJoeB
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Ditto Stan's 1st advice. CO/XO and then just friends that you're close to..
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  • firsttimersluckfirsttimersluck member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    I had no idea that it was proper to invite the co/xo.. I told my FI and i have never seen him raise his eyebrow so high before! hahaha...
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  • kyrgyzstankyrgyzstan member
    Eighth Anniversary 1000 Comments 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    The CO and XO will likely not come, because they know that junior officers won't have fun if they're there, and they do care about stuff like that. But in terms of O ettiquette, it's appropriate. 
    I hate Dave Ramsey
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