XP: Work Shower - Not Everyone Invited to Wedding

Re: XP: Work Shower - Not Everyone Invited to Wedding

• mbatzlaff

  

  April 2012 edited April 2012

  Since it is a shower with only your coworkers and since I'm assuming they will host it at the school, you should be ok if not everyone is invited to the wedding. I think its sort of along the same lines as having a pot luck at work and less like a formal shower at your home with your family and bridal party. I can understand why you would feel uncomfortable (and if you really don't want a shower you can still turn it down) but I think in this case it is ok. I think it would be worse to have a shower at the school and not invite all of the staff.

  
  
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• calindi member

  

  April 2012

  I think the exception to the "only wedding guests" rule is when it's a work function.  I'd still be careful not to talk about wedding details, but most people will understand this isn't something with your family & friends.  And often work showers don't include as many gifts and such, just food.  Maybe suggest that you're happy to celebrate, but would feel uncomfortable accepting gifts?

  
  
  
  
  
  

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• rungirl12 member

  

  April 2012

  Don't be uncomfortable!  Think of it as if you went to one of these showers at work for someone in another dept, but weren't invited to the wedding.  Certainly, you'd enjoy being a part of the party & hanging out with coworkers, but wouldn't be offended by not being invited since you barely know them, right?  At least that is how I would feel. 
  
  I went to a bachlorette for a friend/acquintance when I wasn't invited to the wedding because I know her through skydiving, but there are also about 30 women who regularly go to the club & skydive and I knew she couldn't invite every single skydiver with spouse in addition to family, other friends, etc.  I thought it was a nice way to let everyone from that aspect of her life get together and be included, not to mention I had a great time since I knew everyone there!  Similarly, I work in an office and we would throw a food day and chip in for a gift (like a $200 American Express card) when someone got married.  I WANTED to be a part of supporting them, so I always took pleasure in this, but knew they didn't have space to invite me as a guest. 
  
  Don't worry - if someone doesn't want to participate because they're not invited, they simply will decline and not attend.  Everyone else is there because they want to be and they support you!

  

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• Ajoyd member

  

  April 2012

  I agree with rungirl. You really shouldn't feel bad. Weddings are a joyous occasion and it isn't unusual for your coworkers to want to celebrate such a big step in your life with you.
  
  My two close friends who are also coworkers are throwing me a shower in St. Louis. My wedding is in Columbus, OH. I am not inviting everyone from the shower to the wedding, and quite honestly I think a good number of them will be happy for an opportunity to celebrate with us in St. Louis rather than travel to Columbus for the wedding.

  Married my love 8-25-12 TTC #1 since September 2012. BFP 2-2-13. My BFP Chart

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