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Anyone else going through invite problems?

Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in South Asian Weddings
You know that in Indian culture everyone is a "family friend."  Well I have "family friends" who my parents don't really talk to, but I've always kept in touch with their daughter (my age).  Problem is, they had two more kids (that I've never even met) and I don't want to invite them to my wedding.  I probably wouldn't even invite my friends parents if I could since my parents aren't even in touch with them, but its being polite I guess.

I was thinking of sending my friend a card at her address with just her name on it.  And then sending her parents a card to their address with just their name on it.  Hopefully they will get the hint the other two kids aren't invited.  Do you think that would work?

Another similar story, a friend of ours had a baby just yesterday.  By the time my wedding rolls around the baby will be about 9 months.  I don't want babies at my wedding, but this is another "family friend" that I've known all my life.  They're already talking about how excited they are for the wedding and if theres any way they can help.  How do I send them the message that they can come, but their baby can't?
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Re: Anyone else going through invite problems?

  • temurlangtemurlang member
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    There were two 9 month old babies at our wedding and they were perfect little angels for the whole evening.  They also didn't require a chair or dinner, and thus didn't cost us anything.  The uninvited 6-year-old and 4-year-old terror sisters were another story.  You can emphasize to people how it is not appropriate for kids, but someone will bring them anyway.  DH actually had to call most of the Desi guests and outright tell them they couldn't bring their kids.  Or MILs.

    The family friends:  if the parents haven't been in touch with your parents for so long, would they even want to meet them?  Your plan for addressing the invitations is correct, but people do weird stuff so you never know.  I would let your mom talk to them (not you) if they try to bring the other kids.
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  • MrsBMMrsBM member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Ya just invite the parents on a seperate card and addres sit to
    Mr and Mrs Lastname ...don't write Mr and Mrs lastname & family

    The latter will invite the other two kids!

    My Hubz had an issue where he was inviting part of a family that lived in a single household.  He wanted to invite his cousin and her husband...and not her husbands parents ...but they didn't get hte message and they all RSVP'ed.
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  • britishmibritishmi member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Are your cards printed yet? Maybe write Adults only or 2 seats reserved?
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  • raangoliraangoli
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_south-asian-weddings_anyone-else-going-through-invite-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:430Discussion:7b602f8f-66b5-4bf5-a5ad-72ad5a0bd10bPost:e4f4f901-d5f1-4d2e-8afd-0e69e9dc317c">Re: Anyone else going through invite problems?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Are your cards printed yet? Maybe write Adults only or 2 seats reserved?
    Posted by britishmi[/QUOTE]


    I would do this. We had pre-printed cards like this for some people that were invited so it was clear that only X number of seats were reserved for them. Not them and their closest 10 friends.
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  • jessie23Wed209743jessie23Wed209743 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    we did the same as mentioned above...in the invite part we put the # of guests allowed to come. but i will forewarn you we did have the case where they crossed out our number and wrote a higher number. no joke!! Definitely make sure to note the number of guests you want attending from that household....if you bought preprinted cards already, you can always manage a way with a clear label or sometihg on the card.

    i have to agree about the 9 month old as well...we had one at ours and he sat in his moms lap the entire time and didn't make a peep.

    good luck
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  • DFWIndianDFWIndian
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    We are doing the x # is invited from this family thing. We have a ton of the "family friends" it's driving our guest count way too high. I think it would be a nice gesture to send your friend her own since you are close to her.

    Most parents are unlikely to feel comfortable leaving a 9 month old at home. If you let them bring the baby will it cause an issue with other parents you aren't allowing their kids to come? You may want to just talk it out with them.
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  • Rainbow17Rainbow17 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    edited December 2011
    How do you word the count on the invite?  I've never seen that before, but usually I've been invited with family.  One time, someone penciled in ___/2.  That was so tacky, I would never do that to anyone!
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