Pre-wedding Parties

Bridal Shower Payees???

Re: Bridal Shower Payees???

  • edited December 2011
    Normally the hosts of the shower all help pay for the shower. As a BM, you certainly aren't required to help host a shower.  However, if you told the MOH you would help host the shower, I don't think $80 is an outrageously high ammount to chip in. 

    Now normally there aren't 8 people co-hosting the same shower, so that total ammount seems like a lot to spend on a shower.  The MOH should have asked you what you were comfortable chipping in when she asked you, and you probably should have asked her for an estimate of how much it would be. 

    If you really feel strongly about this, you can go back to the MOH and tell her you simply can't afford $80 and offer how much you are comfortable with.  This may cause some drama, but it's not appropriate for her to flat-out demand a certain ammount.
  • edited December 2011
    It seems like a large amount for a shower since 8 people will be contributing that amount but $80 doesn't seem outrageous on its own. I know when I hosted showers I spent well over that (although I didn't have 7 others contributing.

    Since your FI didn't ask and agreed to it there isn't a lot you can do. I would just pay it and take it as lesson learned for next time to either ask what it is going toward or offer to contribute a smaller amount.
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  • RebeccaB88RebeccaB88 Figment of Your Imagination member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited December 2011
    I think the main thing that went wrong here is the MOH demanding a certain amount of money from everyone, without first verifying people's budgets, and whether or not they even wanted to participate.  That isn't your fault.

    If you've already agreed to the party and given the money, I do think you should chalk it up to a lesson learned, and know what to ask next time.  (And maybe a talk with your hubby as well.) 

    I would also check things out at the party and see if I can tell where all that money went.  If it's a big bash with a hosted bar, catered food, and lots of people, then to me $80 might be about right, or even a bargain.  But if there's just a few beers and a bowl of chips and dip, then I would be seriously questioning the MOH as to exactly where that money went, and maybe asking for some of it back.
  • McKenna2012McKenna2012 member
    edited December 2011
    Ditto what Rebecca said.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited December 2011
    When your fi agreed to chip in for the shower, he should have let the MOH know what he could afford. And each contributor should have had some say in the planning, if they wanted it. From your last paragraph, it sounds like fi was content to contribute and didn't really care about the planning part. So don't blame the MOH.

    I don't think the MOH is being extravagant at $640 for 60 guests. She's either very frugal or she's pitching in some extra $$, herself.

    Fi doesn't have to buy a shower gift for this party, because his $80 contribution IS his gift. Since he has already purchased a shower gift, he could give that to them as a wedding gift.

  • bullielovebullielove member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I dont think $80 is a lot, i am planning a shower right now at my home for 45 people, betwen food (making all myself, appetizers, salads, desserts), drinks, decor, renting tables/chairs/tent, invites, favors, cake, it is going to probably cost over 1k.  There are 6 bridesmaids and the bride only wants each to have to contribute $100 max, so if we go over I will pay the balance becasue I want her to have a nice shower. WE could do it cheaper by having it at a Country club and doing a brunch but that is not what she wants.  I was in a wedding last year with 3 other bridesmaids, the shower was a luncheon at a resturant, we had to each contribute $175, and would have been more if the brides mom did not pitch in. 
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