how to deal with sad news...

kmleon83 · August 2012

fi found out last night that it's most likely his grandpa won't survive until the wedding. naturally, he's upset. i'm just going to be here for him, help him through, be whatever he needs. he came home last night and just kept saying "now i don't what we're going to do about having the wedding." i know he's upset, he is very close with his grandpa, but i don't know how to be sensitive in telling him that we must go forward with the wedding. of course, i'm trying to remain positive in my thinking, hoping gramps pulls through but i'm also realistic and know it's more likely he won't.

i'm so sad for fi, i just have no clue how to handle this two and a half weeks before the wedding.

volleygurl0306 · August 2012

I'm sorry to hear this, but I agree that you have to go through with the wedding. The only way I'd consider changing the wedding would be an unexpected death of an immediate family member. Not that it hurts less to know you are going to lose someone, but you can prepare for it. I wouldn't push it though. Unless he starts calling people and telling them the wedding isn't happening, I think it is just his way of grieving and coping. If your FI prays, even if it isn't your thing, maybe offer to pray with him? I pray but my FI doesn't and I know something like that would feel really supportive. Also, if he seems like he doesn't want to talk about it or needs to be alone, respect that for sure (this is how my FI is and I have had to learn when to stop trying to "help"). While you want to be positive of course, maybe also try to think of a unique way to honor FI's grandpa at the wedding just in case. Since it'll be so fresh, something special for him would probably be greatly appreciated.

Big hugs! I hope he makes it through. The human spirit is quite amazing so perhaps getting to see him grandson get married will keep him going.

melissasdwedding · August 2012

I am so sorry

kmleon83 · August 2012

thanks loves! it's definitely not something you want to deal with ever, especially at this time! i'm not much of a prayer, but i've got some friends on it and i'm just thinking good thoughts, i mean he's been pulling through since thanksgiving..i'm really hoping he can make it these next 2.5 weeks!

i'm going to start thinking of ways to honor him should he not make it, not overly emotional but just some small way or token for fi to remember him by.

calindi · August 2012

I'm really sorry to hear that. I don't know that I have much advice - give him time to grieve, but if he starts talking more about postponing the wedding, point out to him gently that while it will certainly be bittersweet to celebrate something so happy after something so sad, that you both would lose a lot of money to reschedule and that you doubt that's what his grandfather would want him to do anyway.

I would tell him that if his grandfather is still in the hospital when the wedding happens, that you can try to record it via iPhone or something to share with him the same day so he can see the ceremony (you've gotta have a friend who can record the important stuff from the aisle, right? If you have a videographer, explain the situation and ask if you can get a short unedited video up the same day of the ceremony to show his grandfather). Maybe that will help your FI?

BubbsNBubbs · August 2012

I am so sorry that you are going through this. What does your FI's parent (child of gpa) say about it?

What a great idea! Or even better if he were able to skype the wedding if he is in the hospital...that way he can see it live?

how to deal with sad news...

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