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Need Advice/Support! Re: Kids at Wedding

lindsayloo1212lindsayloo1212 member
100 Comments
in Pennsylvania-Pittsburgh
So we had 5 children invited to our wedding, the flower girl, ring bearer, junior bridesmaid, and two gift bearers from the ceremony. The line we drew was that if they were in the ceremony they were invited, if not this is an adults only reception.

Well.... FIs aunt called FMIL extremely angry that her grandchildren (5 of them) weren't invited. To make a long story short - I was pretty much given the ultimatum: Invite them or there will be a complete family breakdown where so and so will be mad and won't come, and won't talk for years to come, etc. So they are invited and I am extremely mad. This is probably the biggest fight FI and I have had during our engagement.

So what now? Hopefully they won't come. But now I have to explain to everyone else who has kids why their kids weren't invited. This entire portion of the family a grandmother, two daughters with their husbands and 5 total children will be sat at a table near the periphery but I'm wondering if anyone has any other advice getting through this. :(
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Re: Need Advice/Support! Re: Kids at Wedding

  • psuxdollpsuxdoll
    100 Comments
    As badly as it stinks that you're having to deal with super rude people demanding things for your special day, I think you have to (unfortunatley) 'suck it up' and let them come.  Honestly you letting them come after they've thrown such a tantrum is only going to make you look like the adult/better person.  
    I'm sorry you're dealing with this, people can be so inconsiderate and rude!  Hang in there girl, don't let it ruin your day!
    image 145 Invited
    image 121 Are ready to party!
    image 24 Will be missing out!
    image Everyone has finally RSVP'd!!!
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  • Britt0412Britt0412 member
    100 Comments
    Ugh, this is a crappy situation. My words of support - in terms of dealing with guests (not as much w/ FI), keep in mind that just allowing her to bring them is probably the path of least resistance. A guest who demands that kids be invited is probably not the easiest person to reason with. Is fighting it worth the potential backlash? Maybe, but maybe not. Most reasonable people (e.g., your other guests) will totally understand kids not being invited and not feel the need to demand it be changed for their benefit. If it were me, if they would question you about it, I'd simply say that no, it was not the plan for non-wedding party kids to be invited and just give a knowing look. They'll probably get the hint.

    Good luck!
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  • lindsayloo1212lindsayloo1212 member
    100 Comments
    Thank you for all of the advice and support. I think I am trying to be the bigger person but on the inside I feel like a 3 year old that wants to throw a major temper tantrum in the grocery store in front of tons of people because it's just a bad situation for me. But the support helps, and in the end, I know it won't ruin the wedding day.

    Now back to angry me - Let's still cross our fingers they don't come!
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  • sara1023sara1023 member
    First Comment
    If you have kids & your (at that time) unmarried friends then get married - I'd bet you'll see the other side of kids & weddings.  Funny how that is.. Laughing
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  • a354663a354663
    10 Comments
    I have to be honest, I have a 10 year old and would never even expect him to be invited to a wedding also.  Most weddings are adult only (especially becuase most places are so expensive per head).  I actaully have several weddings to attend this year and have alreayd planned for sitters for them assuming that they will be adult only.

    Hang in there!
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