Wedding Etiquette Forum

question about bridal party gifts

I have 1 set and 2 members of the bridal party that are spouses with children.  plus my officiant has children.  My MOH is married to a GM and their son is my ringbearer. my Cousin and SIL are BM and my cousins lil girl is my flower girl...my nephew is too young to be in the wedding he'll be a year....is it wrong to get them (well the set anyway) a single gift like a giftcard to go eat with an IOU to baby sit (the IOU being for all the wedding party with kids)?  and to do the same with my parents but have the IOU to be for puppy/kitty sitting (they have a dog and I left my cat with them (she's too old to move)).  Or to do an IOU to babysit and leave out the giftcard?  or does that seem cheap?  I was thinking of doing the IOU for a wedding album with special pics for the grandparents and might do it with my parents....FI said get his dad a nice zippo and he'd be happy (his mom passed away in 2005).  I wouldn't do like just a I'll take the kids for a few hours it'd be more like days (least for the outta towners).

Re: question about bridal party gifts

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-bridal-party-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc9fdfcd-d80c-4d32-b76c-961d10b2f986Post:d88927f7-ce01-476f-bc09-57016c64c203">question about bridal party gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have 1 set and 2 members of the bridal party that are spouses with children.  plus my officiant has children.  My MOH is married to a GM and their son is my ringbearer. my Cousin and SIL are BM and my cousins lil girl is my flower girl...my nephew is too young to be in the wedding he'll be a year....is it wrong to get them (well the set anyway) a single gift like a giftcard to go eat with an IOU to baby sit (the IOU being for all the wedding party with kids)?  and to do the same with my parents but have the IOU to be for puppy/kitty sitting (they have a dog and I left my cat with them (she's too old to move)).  Or to do an IOU to babysit and leave out the giftcard?  or does that seem cheap?  I was thinking of doing the IOU for a wedding album with special pics for the grandparents and might do it with my parents....FI said get his dad a nice zippo and he'd be happy (his mom passed away in 2005).  I wouldn't do like just a I'll take the kids for a few hours it'd be more like days (least for the outta towners).
    Posted by sevatipari[/QUOTE]

    I'm sorry, I am honestly having a hard time following your question. 1 set of what?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_question-bridal-party-gifts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:cc9fdfcd-d80c-4d32-b76c-961d10b2f986Post:68f8f568-71fc-4f91-a92e-363dd33f22d3">Re: question about bridal party gifts</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to question about bridal party gifts : I'm sorry, I am honestly having a hard time following your question. 1 set of what?
    Posted by Morfudd[/QUOTE]
    Ok, good, I thought it was just me...
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  • I'm definitely confused about this one..?
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  • Okay, I read it through again, and I think I've got it.

    1) I think the wedding album for your parents sounds like a nice present, but I wouldn't give them an "IOU"-- just send them the album with a nice letter.

    2) A giftcard to a restaurant could be a very nice present, I think, to a young couple who might like a date night out, particularly if you offered to provide childcare. I wouldn't leave out the gift card, though.

    3) Is puppy/catsitting something your parents need on a regular basis? I'd steer clear of this option myself.
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  • The IOU for pet sitting to your parents strikes me as a little....odd.  That's something that most people would do for their parents without making it a "gift". At least, most people I know.

    But the rest of it is fine, I think,  I would give the restaurant gift card  to your BM/GM with a note saying that you will babysit  (free of charge, of course) while they go out and enjoy their meal on a night of their choice.
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  • I agree with PPs about the gift card/babysitting.

    Now, for the pet sitting, are they the type to shy away from asking you to pet sit? My parents don't like asking for help with stuff, so my FI (who is an IT guy) gave them "guilt free" tech calls for the year. It went over really well. If you normally pet sit for them and they don't mind asking you, I think it is weird.
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  • edited June 2010
    Sorry it was confusing I wrote it after a very busy 12 hour shift at work.  My MOH and one of FI groomsmen are married...their son is my ringbearer and godson/"nephew".  My cousin is a BM and her daughter is my flower girl, my SIL is also a BM and my Big Bro (her husband) is doing my photography  (Their son won't be in the wedding my bro said he was too young...by that time he'll be 1).  My Officant (one of FI good friends) also has a little boy and girl.  The rest of the BP is single or at least they have no kids (I can't keep track of FI friends relationships to tell if they have GF's or not.  My last BM is a confirmed bachelorette and my puppy is definitely single.  He's Best Puppy/GM)

    Hope this clears some of the confusion. 

    What I was wondering though would it be considered tacky or cheap to just do the free babysitting?  Not like just a night free of the kids but a weekend that way they can cuddle and spend time with their hubby/wife, go on a kid free vacation, get done any errands they may not have been able to get done, etc.

    Plus that way I get to spend time with my neice and nephews.  I know my SIL said she misses getting to spend time with my Bro (though his idea of spending time is puttering in the garage while she's in the house) , and my MOH says she misses not getting to be a couple with her hubby before having my godson (she got pregnant quickly like the wedding night quickly lol).  I think all the parents in the BP would find it sweet but I know the rest of my family.  They like to critize everything I do I'm never good enough.  But then again my Big Bro is perfect so who can live up to that? *shrugs*

    Oh yeah I also live 2-3 hours away from everyone but my MOH.  But they pass me on the way to Myrtle Beach, so its a I'll take your kid you go have fun playing in the sand type thing.
  • I don't have kids, so maybe I just can't appreciate how nice a gift of babysitting is, but from my point of view, I would probably think it was a little cheap. I would think it was sweet if you gave them a tangible gift to go along with babysitting, though.  For example, a gift card to a B&B and a babysitting IOU?
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  • >>What I was wondering though would it be considered tacky or cheap to just do the free babysitting?

    Yeah.
    If two couples help you MOVE or help you PAINT YOUR LIVING ROOM or something like that, you can trade your free babysitting in return so they get a night out by themselves.

    But this is YOUR WEDDING.  These people, who clearly have overwhelming responsibilities with kids and jobs and so on, are unplugging from their lives to PLUG INTO YOUR LIFE and serve you in the short term by being in your wedding and serve you long term by being marriage mentors for you in the good times and when better turns to worse.  That's worth more that an IOU for free babysitting.  Get them a gift card to whatever restaurant they like, and wrap it up nicely - don't jam it into a TY card.
  • I have a kid and while the babysitting is a nice gesture it definately comes off as cheap. Most of the time people have to fork over a lot of money to be in a wedding so the least you can do is give them a nice gift. The GCs are great ideas but I'd leave out the IOU part and just tell them about the babysitting.
  • I'll have to keep thinking then cause other than the matron of honor and her husband everyone else is impossible to buy for.  I mean I know their interests and such but idk what they already have or their interests are sky high expensive (what is it with guys and electronics or guys and tools?)
  • I wouldn't do the IOU's.  Get the people with kids a gif tcard to go out to dinner and tell them you will watch their kids that night.  Maybe get your parents a picture frame before the wedding and a photo album after.  And for the single people you could get gift cards to their favorite store, so if they like high tech stuff get them a GC to Best Buy.  IOU's for baby/pet sitting really isn't an appropriate "thank you for being a part of the biggest day of our lives" gift.
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