Interracial Weddings

My fiancé is Vietnamese, I'm dominican... Advice

My fiancé has told me that his culture gives money at weddings and we already live together and have what most people would give as wedding gifts. His family will give us money for sure, but I don't know how to address this to my family without coming across as money hungry. Any advice? Thanks in advance!
"My head is quite empty but once I had brains, and a heart also; so, having tried them both, I should much rather have a heart." - The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Wedding Countdown Ticker

Re: My fiancé is Vietnamese, I'm dominican... Advice

  • edited May 2012
    This is the same in DH's culture.  We had a DW in the U.S. and we didn't want to lug back a bunch of registry gifts with us to Japan, especially since appliances and the like would not have worked well because of plug type/voltage differences.  I discussed this with my immediate family and they were OK with this, agreed it made a lot of sense, and helped get the word out/explain the cultural differences to our other guests if/when a guest broached the topic of gifts.

    Unfortunately there's no etiquette-y way to word cultural differences like this that you're observing in your wedding without it ruffling feathers on the general TK consensus.

    The E board shredded me for this early on, but we also made a note on our wedding website something to the effect of, "We are not registered due to restrictions on what we can bring back with us to Japan and therefore we request any guests who feel the need to do so please consider a monetary donation or something small.  However please know that the biggest gift of all would be your attendance as we celebrate this exciting time in our lives!"

    We had two bride and groom piggy banks and a card box set up for our guests.  We got a lot of compliments on the piggy banks and there was a bit of a throwdown on who got to go home with them.  (We let guests take our reception decor since we also couldn't afford to bring this back with us, and it was a huge hit!)  I think a cardbox would just be fine, however.

    You could set up a honeymoon/cash registry if you'd like, too.

    Once again E board will spazz out, but honestly I have yet to hear a good reason re: how asking people to buy you items off a registry list (which = guests spending cash) is more polite than asking for cash itself.  Either way people are out the same amount of money if they want to give, and people who don't wish to give won't.
  • Thanks for the advice:) from reading other forums I think using the word of mouth route regarding the gift situation would be the best method. My close family understands the cultural differences, which is good. I also think we'll just do a smaller registry before the shower. Thanks again!
    "My head is quite empty but once I had brains, and a heart also; so, having tried them both, I should much rather have a heart." - The Wonderful Wizard of Oz Wedding Countdown Ticker
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