Advice!

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

Hey everyone! I'm getting married to my soldier in just under 4 months and I was just curious about anything I should know about being an Army wife. All I know, I have learned from Army Wives! lol Any tips or advice you have would be great. What should I expect. Really, anything would help a lot!

It seems like you all know a lot as I have been reading some of the posts. A little (or a lot!) insight would so greatly appreciated!

crownsuperstar · April 2012

Tip- Army Wives is nothing like real life.

Do not believe anything (move, deployment etc) until it is happening. The military changes things a lot.

During deployment (and there will be one) keep busy. Have a good group of friends that will keep your mind of of things. Take up a hobby.

We just live life as it happens and then make adjustments when needed. That is the most important thing that I have learned. To go with the flow.

Welcome to the board. Tell us more about your wedding. Colors, flowers etc.

divinemsbee · April 2012

Hi and welcome! I'm not a wife yet, but this board has been invaluable to me in figuring out a lot of things. I also had absolutely no idea what life with a partner in the military was going to be like, and I think I've come a pretty long way.

I would definitely read the posts on here about TriCare (I think there was a really good one a few days ago). It still confuses me, but I know it's something we'll deal with pretty quickly after the wedding.

And, as someone who also watched Army Wives as a very guilty pleasure, just try your best to not be a Roxy!

crownsuperstar · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:e89eabae-ead1-414d-894d-50c0c7b99321">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi and welcome! I'm not a wife yet, but this board has been invaluable to me in figuring out a lot of things. I also had absolutely no idea what life with a partner in the military was going to be like, and I think I've come a pretty long way. I would definitely read the posts on here about TriCare (I think there was a really good one a few days ago). It still confuses me, but I know it's something we'll deal with pretty quickly after the wedding. And, as someone who also watched Army Wives as a very guilty pleasure, just <strong>try your best to not be a Roxy!
</strong>Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

This made me giggle!!! HAAAA But she under went a make over. <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />

divinemsbee · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:0d23686d-4bad-4ec9-bac3-613d70e13761">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice! : This made me giggle!!! HAAAA But she under went a make over.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

<div>And now they've made a new wife even nuttier than her, but at least it's not all bra straps all the time. Oh, Army Wives...</div>

kara811 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:60f60781-f831-4712-a860-33329297b76d">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>Tip- Army Wives is nothing like real life</strong>. Do not believe anything (move, deployment etc) until it is happening. The military changes things a lot. During deployment (and there will be one) keep busy. Have a good group of friends that will keep your mind of of things. Take up a hobby. We just live life as it happens and then make adjustments when needed. That is the most important thing that I have learned. To go with the flow. Welcome to the board. Tell us more about your wedding. Colors, flowers etc.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

<div>This made me lol!!!! And welcome! </div>

crownsuperstar · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:901f5510-629d-443c-84db-1f2687ec5c6d">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Advice! : And now they've made a new wife even nuttier than her, but at least it's not all bra straps all the time. Oh, Army Wives...
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

Or the pill popping General's wife. That show is a gulity pleasure of mine. Conversation to H when he deployed fueled by Army Wives of course.

At the "leave place"

Me- so this is it?
H- Yeah what did you expect?
Me- I mean a band, songs, speech from the commander...getting to watch the plane fly away.
H- UM...no this is it! Where did you get that thought from?
Me- Army Wives.
H- laughing...rolling eyes and kiss on the forward. Honey that is a tv show.

lrh17 · April 2012

I don't know if you already saw this thread, but I thought there was some really good advice in it http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_what-you-wish-youd-known

Keep busy when he's away and make sure you have your own personal goals to focus on!

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:60f60781-f831-4712-a860-33329297b76d">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Tip- Army Wives is nothing like real life. <strong>Do not believe anything (move, deployment etc) until it is happening. The military changes things a lot. During deployment (and there will be one) keep busy. </strong> Have a good group of friends that will keep your mind of of things. Take up a hobby. We just live life as it happens and then make adjustments when needed. That is the most important thing that I have learned. To go with the flow. Welcome to the board. Tell us more about your wedding. Colors, flowers etc.
Posted by crownsuperstar[/QUOTE]

That's what I keep hearing! The thing that worries me the most is picking up and moving 5,000 miles away (he s stationed in Hawaii). I am still in school and am actually in the process of transfering to HU. Do any of you suggest getting a job? I know that aspect might be hard with all of the moving.

We got engaged March 6th in Hawaii when I went to visit him. In the past month, we have planned everything....Ceremony and reception location, catering, I bought my dress and the bridesmaids and groomsmen have already started getting their appropriate attire. The reason for this is becasue we are getting married in August of this year! He will be home on leave, however we of course didn't know the date he would be home until about 2 weeks ago! It is kind of difficult to get all of that planned without a date! haha :) But everything is coming along well. He is wearing his ASUs and our colors are navy blue and coral for an outside wedding. I am very excited. I can't wait to marry my best friend :)

crownsuperstar · April 2012

This also has some good advise for making sure that you are able to focus on you. I mean this is good for everyone really in my opinion military or not.

http://baseguide.com/blogs/5-Ways-to-Focus-on-YOU

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:e89eabae-ead1-414d-894d-50c0c7b99321">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE]Hi and welcome! I'm not a wife yet, but this board has been invaluable to me in figuring out a lot of things. I also had absolutely no idea what life with a partner in the military was going to be like, and I think I've come a pretty long way. I would definitely read the posts on here about TriCare (I think there was a really good one a few days ago). It still confuses me, but I know it's something we'll deal with pretty quickly after the wedding. And, as someone who also watched Army Wives as a very guilty pleasure, just try your best to not be a Roxy!
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

Hahaha! I love Roxy. She has such a big heart and will do anything to protect who she loves and doesn't care what anyone else thinks! This might be pretty bad...but what is TriCare...? I will go look at that!

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

Thanks for all of the links!

divinemsbee · April 2012

TriCare is what will be your insurance after you're married. It's just one of those things that you'll need to figure out after you get married, along with things like DEERs (isn't that what it's called?).

I can say, and this is just my experience within the last couple of months, that it's very different for me to be home alone in our house while he's gone than it was when we were long-distance and I was living in my own place. I moved around a bit while we were long-distance, and, while I missed him, it was just having a LDR.

Now that I'm settled in what is our house that has all of our things in it, it's much more lonely. I don't know how to describe it, but it just feels different. Add to that the fact that I've never truly lived alone before (I've paid my own rent but always had roommates) and the learning curve has been steep. Therefore, I definitely recommend hobbies and school as ways to get you out of your own head.

Especially as you're going to be moving across an ocean, be prepared for a little let down, even though you'll be married and happy. I can imagine it's going to be a huge culture shock, even if you are in paradise. From what I've heard HI is very different, and very expensive.I talk to my parents more now than I have since I first went to college. As important as going with the flow is, research can also be a helpful thing to do.

crownsuperstar · April 2012

I agree with Divine on this as well. H and I were long distance during the entire time we dated. Well soon after we got engaged we found out that he was going to deploy not soon after our wedding day so for us we made the decision for me to stay put. That meant that we were long distance for the first couple of months of our marriage as well but we were able to see each other on the weekends. Now he is deployed (more long distance) but this time to me it was a little different because I knew at the end of the week I was not going to see him. Most of the time I am good. The weekends tend to be a bit different because I don't get to see him. I am just making the best of it. Lots of girls trips planned.

lrh17 · April 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_advice-6?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:81d60d7f-a479-4fde-8c73-00e20752c55aPost:0a0ed1b2-30b1-4c53-94fa-7486b0120dc0">Re: Advice!</a>:
[QUOTE] From what I've heard HI is very different, and very expensive.<strong>I talk to my parents more now than I have since I first went to college.</strong> As important as going with the flow is, research can also be a helpful thing to do.
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

ME TOO!

It definitely felt different being in a LDR throughout college than it was for us to have gotten settled for about a month, then have H leave our home (TDY though, so at least I am able to communicate with him while he's gone). Weekends are the worst because I know that's when we would be spending time doing fun stuff together. But my life is so hectic right now that it keeps me from sitting around moping (although I definitely have those kind of days...like Monday haha!)

iluvmytxrgr · April 2012

Lurking on this board and the Military Nesties board will help you get a feel for the military life. It take a bit of time to adjust if you aren't used to it. There is a sticky thread at the top of this board with info. There is also a button in my siggy that will lead to a FAQ page the ladies from MN put together. Ask questions when you have them. Don't feel stupid. We were all new once.

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

Wow, Thank you so much for all of the advice!!

firemedicrr · April 2012

What do you ladies think about pinning a topic called "What would have been nice to know Sooner- Advice from Mil Spouses" or something along those lines? That way we have somewhere good to put advice/tips as we learn them about different things? Seems this is becoming a more common question, and IMO it'd be great to have a thread to reference with some of the things that have been suggested, in this thread or the last one a few days ago without having to dig for it.

Thoughts?

iluvmytxrgr · April 2012

I think pinning that at the top of the board would be a great idea.

holycrapitsalexa · April 2012

I think that is a great idea! I know every bit of information helps!!

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