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Bummed (Non)Bridesmaid

melissagh10melissagh10
10 Comments
in Wedding Party
One of my dear friends from college, who has since moved from Georgia to Texas, was in my wedding in 2010... and is now engaged herself!  I am beyond happy and excited for her and her fiance, but I am a little disappointed that I was not asked to be a bridesmaid.  I'm not sure if there's a particular reason or anything, and I haven't talked to her about it (not sure that I should, honestly!).  I know it's her decision and her wedding, and I do feel a bitsilly about how I feel.... but is it normal/okay to feel a little bummed? 

Embarassed

Always (well, once) a bride, never a bridesmaid!
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Re: Bummed (Non)Bridesmaid

  • mbcdefgmbcdefg member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    It's normal to be bummed.

    Fester a bit in private, then try to let it go. Don't bring it up with her.
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  • mellimel19mellimel19
    500 Comments
    Sure, it's ok to feel bummed, but please don't confront her about this. As a former bride yourself, I'm sure you know that you can't have everyone who is important to you in the wedding party, and sometimes it can be a difficult choice.
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  • melissagh10melissagh10
    10 Comments
    Oh, I've definitely decided to not bring it up to her.  Just really wanted to see if it was normal to feel this way.  I'll get over it and move on and will gladly celebrate as a guest next year!

    Thanks ladies!
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  • aerinpegadrakaerinpegadrak member
    10000 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    She also might have another special role for you in mind, like asking you to do a reading.  It's natural to be bummed, just don't let it get to you.
    This is a neglected planning bio.
    This is a belated married bio, with no reviews yet because I'm lazy.

    image
    Sometimes I feel like people think that brides are delicate little flower princesses who get all dressed up and pretty for one special moment of their dreams, when really they're just normal people who just happen to be getting married. Things shouldn't have to be sugar-coated for grown-ass women. -mstar284
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  • RamonaFlowersRamonaFlowers member
    Eighth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments Name Dropper

    Feeling a little sad is okay, but it's definitely not something to stew for a long time over. And definitely not something to mention to her (It's just going to put her on the spot, and make both of you feel uncomfortable).

    Look on the bright side: now you don't have to buy some satin dress that you'll never wear again Laughing


    *I felt sorry for my husband before I met him. Take a number.*
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  • cwaggoner07cwaggoner07 member
    5000 Comments Fourth Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    I'm getting married this summer, and one of my bridesmaids is getting married May 2013. I'm not going to be one of her BM's, but she has 3 sisters and her FI has 1. It doesn't really bother me because she probably feels worse about it than I do.
    She's still a great friend... and really once the dust settles and the weddings are over we'll still be great friends.
    It was a fairytale. Image and video hosting by TinyPic Anniversary
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  • furlonecullenfurlonecullen
    10 Comments
    I'm having a similar issue. I got engaged in Dec, and my BFF since 5yrs old got engaged about a month ago. I have been there for her through her dad dying, late night calls about an abusive bf, and most recently incencent complaining that she had not yet been proposed to. Within a week of her engagement, she chatted me asking about an MOH dilemma, ok fine, I'm not the MOH. Her issue was that she changed her mind after sending a letter to a friend, but solve it by having a maid/matron. Then, the next day her facebook status (sorry, I hate that I live in a facebook world, but there it is) said "My bridal party is going to be gorgeous". I guess I'm not in it. I hadn't asked people to be in mine yet because I have been fininshing school and busy. She's not my MOH, I had been debating it but her actions solidified that. And now I don't think she'll even be in it because through her rantings and behavoir I've realized she's not who I thought she was. She also is likely having her wedding 2-3 weeks before mine in OR, I had picked a date a while ago, and am in NH. I know I don't own an entire season or month, but throughout this whole thing she has been very selfish.

    Sorry that this isn't really a response to OP but more my own vent. But you're not alone in your dissapointment, I"m sure many others feel the same too. Undecided
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