Marriage Happiness Article

shawna127 · January 2013

I just recieved this in an email and wanted to share

)

http://foryourmarriage.org/study-finds-first-year-of-marriage-is-not-the-happiest/

Resa77 · January 2013

Interesting read! Most of my friends told me when I was engaged that the first year was REALLY hard. I've heard stories of huge fights, vases/pictures/etc thrown, nights on the couch, etc. I'm nearing the 6 months mark, and so far it's been wonderful, but I think that might be partially because we had such real expectations thanks to our friends' honesty. Thank God for honest friends!

chelseamb11 · January 2013

Great article, thanks for posting!

Our first year has been great actually *knockc on wood*. We also made a pact to NEVER make the other sleep on the couch. Our mentality is that part of our marriage is having a marital bed. To kick someone out of that bed is like saying "I can't be married to you tonight".

Resa77 · January 2013

Chelsea, I feel the same, and H and I are both against sleeping in different beds/rooms. If, for instance, there was infidelity or abuse or something along those lines in the marriage(which, hopefully, we'll never deal with), I could see how sleeping in the same bed would be asking a lot. But for the most part, I think that can be a really dramatic move, with the intention of hurting the other. And that's not cool.

chelseamb11 · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-happiness-article?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5c1cbfa5-22ec-40a2-b564-cd3d49f23de1Post:1f9057dd-d35c-4a06-a04d-b22d267169f1">Re: Marriage Happiness Article</a>:
[QUOTE]Chelsea, I feel the same, and H and I are both against sleeping in different beds/rooms. If, for instance, there was infidelity or abuse or something along those lines in the marriage(which, hopefully, we'll never deal with), I could see how sleeping in the same bed would be asking a lot. But for the most part, I think that can be a really dramatic move, with the intention of hurting the other. And that's not cool.
Posted by Resa77[/QUOTE]

Agreed. I mean.. come on. You're sleeping. It's not like being in another room makes you less mad at someone. And I'm sorry, you shouldn't marry someone if getting in a big fight with them makes you literally uncomfortable to sleep in the same bed as them. But I totally agree if it came down to abuse/infidelity, that's another story.

Chloeagh · January 2013

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_catholic-weddings_marriage-happiness-article?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:615Discussion:5c1cbfa5-22ec-40a2-b564-cd3d49f23de1Post:8f8d706f-7744-4d07-b5ea-226e3cf70103">Re: Marriage Happiness Article</a>:
[QUOTE]Great article, thanks for posting! Our first year has been great actually *knockc on wood*. We also made a pact to NEVER make the other sleep on the couch. Our mentality is that part of our marriage is having a marital bed. To kick someone out of that bed is like saying "I can't be married to you tonight".
Posted by chelseamb11[/QUOTE]
That's a great point. FI and I have made the same pact, although it started as a conversation about how I think it's silly that the stereotype is that when the woman decides she doesn't want to sleep with her husband, it's the husband that has to leave.

I'm very glad that I have been exposed to enough marriage prep books and reality that I don't expect marriage to make everything better. Some things, yes, because we won't be long distance any more. But I've seen the way he lives. I know how hard I'll have to work to implement any sort of system or organization and how much that is going to bother me.

Riss91 · January 2013

We had a pretty happy first year... and generally are happier in our marriage even more as time goes by. I think it is mainly because we both care about putting the other person's needs and happiness ahead of our own. His happiness is what makes me happy and vice versa. So, we're in a happy circular reference!

Resa77 · January 2013

Riss, that's how we are, too. Once in awhile, H will tell me that I'm just so good to him, always do nice things for him, etc., and that he wishes he could be as good to me. Well, I feel like he's the one always being wonderful, and I feel like I'm not as good to him. What a wonderful way to feel, though -- each of us feels like our needs are treated as the #1 priority, and yet each of us tries to treat the other's needs as #1. That's much better than each of us always looking out for our own interests.

Marriage Happiness Article

Re: Marriage Happiness Article

Choose Another Board

Search Boards