Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Sorority Candle at Wedding

Hello,

I am a member of a sorority colony.  My family has decieded to create the tradition of giving our little sister a candle to use at her wedding.  I found a website where someone is able to customize candles and I am interested in putting a quote, saying, advice, etc on the candle for my sister.  Obviously she's only 18 now as a new member of the organization (and just arrive at college) and as someone who is an only child, I'm not sure what I would say or want on the candle 5-10 years from now.  I have the option of using our sorority's motto, "Faithful unto Death" or finding something else to put on it.  Any reccomendations, opinions or if someone else has done this before I would love to hear about it.

Thank you!

Re: Sorority Candle at Wedding

  • redheadfsuredheadfsu member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    What if she never marries?

    That seems very presumptuous. Giving a wedding gift to a single/unengaged girl is very odd IMO.

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  • I'm not trying to be mean, and I understand that your heart is in the right place, but I think this is really odd.
  • It's also presumptuous to think that she or her future husband will want anything from her sorority in their wedding.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sorority-candle-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:003ee1f8-034b-4c41-a368-b4c169fb1218Post:3a8d9c6f-6467-4745-83ca-edf26913c16d">Sorority Candle at Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]Hello, I am a member of a sorority colony.  My family has decieded to create the tradition of giving our little sister a candle to use at her wedding.  I found a website where someone is able to customize candles and I am interested in putting a quote, saying, advice, etc on the candle for my sister.  Obviously she's only 18 now as a new member of the organization (and just arrive at college) and as someone who is an only child, I'm not sure what I would say or want on the candle 5-10 years from now.  I have the option of using our sorority's motto, "Faithful unto Death" or finding something else to put on it.  Any reccomendations, opinions or if someone else has done this before I would love to hear about it. Thank you!
    Posted by livbeautyqueen[/QUOTE]

    This screams to me "I'm stuck in college."

  • I would go general.  Maybe something like "Love" plus your sorority letters?  Keep it simple.

    I also would slightly agree with the other ladies.  I was in a sorority, but by my senior in college I was so over it.  I still have my badge, but something like this would have been gone.  I can't even remember who my big sister was or my little sisters...
  • This seems silly. I know you mean well, but why not get a candle to use now? Husband, wife, and 100s of wife's sisters seems like a big crowd to include in a wedding ceremony.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sorority-candle-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:003ee1f8-034b-4c41-a368-b4c169fb1218Post:0243cd14-109e-400c-bb5d-0341226ba006">Re: Sorority Candle at Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]It's also presumptuous to think that she or her future husband will want anything from her sorority in their wedding.
    Posted by tldh[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this. I wasn't in one, but most of the girls I know who were in sororities are over it now.
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  • I would go general with it as well.  I was in a sorority in college, and since I only got married about 7 months after graduating, the sorority was (and is) still important- most of my bridesmaids were sorority sisters, my pledge class gets together often, etc. But, i don't know how I would feel if it was 10 years out from college.  I think its a sweet idea though- if she doesn't want to use it for her wedding per say, I think keepsakes are still nice. Just the word "love" around the base of the candle with the letters in there once maybe?  Nothing to bling-y or ostentacious I think would be good.
  • Is a "sorority colony" something different than a regular college sorority?
  • A colony means they are the founding sisters at that college campus for that particular chapter. And having that be the family tradition is okay in my book. (Background I was in a sorority in college and now am a chapter advisor for a chapter of my sorority at a different college. For me, it is a lifetime membership) For my family we just passed down our lavaliers (letters necklace) to our littles. So unless someone quit the chapter, there was always someone wearing our lavalier that is a current sister.
  • I don't think it's as creepy as others seem to! I'm pinning my badge to my bouquet, so I understand that for some people it's meaningful to have your letters be part of your wedding.

    If she doesn't want to use it, she can pass it down to her little in the future, or just not use it at her wedding. Just because you give someone a gift doesn't mean they HAVE to use it.

    I would either put your motto or even just your letters on it. 


  • I don't think the point was that it was "creepy", just a bit odd thing to get for someone so far off from their wedding.

    I agree that most women are very far out from their sorority days by the time they get married.  My MOH was in a sorority while we were in college, and I don't even know if any of her sorority sisters are even invited to the wedding.

    It just kind of seems in the same vein as buying someone a candle as a high school graduation gift with their HS logo and they could use at their wedding.  

    I'm not saying it is a terrible idea, it just seems kind of odd.  Where would you display a single candle at a wedding?  If you are going to do it, I think the motto would be appropriate to put on it.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sorority-candle-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:003ee1f8-034b-4c41-a368-b4c169fb1218Post:e2df2176-21de-4ad8-8cf7-6bf475657832">Re: Sorority Candle at Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think it's as creepy as others seem to! I'm pinning my badge to my bouquet, so I understand that for some people it's meaningful to have your letters be part of your wedding. If she doesn't want to use it, she can pass it down to her little in the future, or just not use it at her wedding. Just because you give someone a gift doesn't mean they HAVE to use it. I would either put your motto or even just your letters on it. 
    Posted by cebrady89[/QUOTE]

    I don't think it is creepy; however, I do think it is strange. Giving a single/not engaged girl something for her wedding is just odd and very unlikely that she will actually use it.

    Correct, she doesn't HAVE to use it. But what is the point in giving a gift, when the giver knows it probably won't get used? That is just a waste of time,money, energy.

    We (as outsiders) were just trying to save the OP's time & money by pointing out that it is an odd gift that probably won't get used.

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_sorority-candle-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:003ee1f8-034b-4c41-a368-b4c169fb1218Post:4bff0550-47c3-4960-ba0b-1fdc35261e3d">Re: Sorority Candle at Wedding</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: Sorority Candle at Wedding : I don't think it is creepy; however, I do think it is strange. Giving a single/not engaged girl something for her wedding is just odd and very unlikely that she will actually use it. Correct, she doesn't HAVE to use it. But what is the point in giving a gift, when the giver knows it probably won't get used? That is just a waste of time,money, energy. We (as outsiders) were just trying to save the OP's time & money by pointing out that it is an odd gift that probably won't get used.
    Posted by redheadfsu[/QUOTE]

    I'm with you on this one.  If it were me I would probably loose it by the time I got married, or just wouldn't find it to be something I would want at my wedding.
  • Pledge family gifts, in my experience, aren't always about whether or not they'll be used. They're often symbolic, and I think this candle - whether used or not - will be appreciated by the girl.
  • So I totally forgot I posted this and am still debating the candle.  Thank you to everyone for their opinions.  To the poster who said she is putting her badge on her buquet, I think that is one of the best ideas I've heard regarding this topic! As one of the posters said, its more symbolic than if she is going to use it or not.  I've known other chapter to have this tradition and I thought it would be a good way of keeping the organization apart of other milestones in life.  Thanks for everyone's opinions though!
  • I am in a sorority, and graduated 2 years ago. While I'm not nearly as involved or as close to my sisters as I was in college, I think it's a beautiful gift to pass down in your family. I'll be incorporating my badge on my wedding day, and I would LOVE to have something from my family to use on my wedding day. Yes, it may be a little presumptuous to give a single girl something for her wedding day, but I would have been honored to have been given something by my Big to use on my wedding day, even if I didn't have a boyfriend yet. The other thing is, it's not like you're mandating that she use it at her wedding, it's a gift. I think it's a beautiful thought. : )

    Keep it simple, maybe a line from one of your sorority's songs, or a line from your pledge? Or just love. I'd love to see what you come up with if you decide to do it!
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