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Destination Weddings Discussions

AHR - Talk me in or out of it

   So my parents (actually Mom) really want us to have an AHR.  We were kinda wavering, but figured we'd be open to a low key something - backyard BBQ open house idea.  We would have done it at our house, but we're still living in dirt and don't have a deck yet.  We were thinking my parents house as they have a good size yard and detached garage in case of rain.  Mom wasn't keen on it in case of rain and having potentially 80 people using her bathroom.  We kind of let it go and unofficially decided to not have one because of logistics.  We're also not feeling a need to be the centre of attention again.

   This morning, Mom propsed an AHR again, this time at their house, backyard, garage, etc., low key BBQ open house, basically what we would have been good with orginally.  We're not sure whether we should accept their offer or not.  Were both on the fence.  We could do it or not and not really be bothered either way.  Please talk me either into or out of the party!!  Thanks ladies!!  

Re: AHR - Talk me in or out of it

  • We just had ours last night, and if given the option a second time would probably have turned it down.  We hosted our wedding so had control over everything.  We had a total of 58 people, his parents had a rehearsal dinner for all guests the night before, and we additionally hosted brunch the day after the wedding.

    My parents hosted our AHR.  It was ~ 50 people and we kept it simple  - dinner, my parents had a welcome speech with toast to us.  We did a cake cutting and fed each other a slice, and luckily our photos came in just that day so we were able to show a photo slideshow.

    So I am grateful to my parents for putting it all together - I think the guests really enjoyed it.  We only invited local friends/family who did not come out to Hawaii with us.

    But I did have to assist and put a little bit of work into the planning and could have done without this after having done it all for the wedding.
    Anniversary
  • We had ours in my parents' back yard  as well and had a hawaiian food buffet and some Mexican food as well since it was on Cinco de Mayo. We limited it to only 50 people so it wasn't too bad, we planned it in about a week and it was a bit of a hassle, but we were glad to celebrate with close friends and family since we only invited our siblings and parents to Maui. I think we could have done without it, but our families and friends were really happy that they had a chance to celebrate with us too. So I would say to do it, but keep it small and casual. 
    Anniversary
  • XML&MrPXML&MrP member
    10 Comments
    We didn't even consider one, we chose a DW for several reasons but mainly bc of the cost. Those who are coming to our wedding have made a great effort to be there with us.... I feel like if it were a traditional wedding everyone would come just bc, same with an AHR
    - And all along I believed I would find you, time has brought your heart to me, I have loved you for a thousand years...I'll love you for a thousand more. Wedding Countdown Ticker LilySlim Weight loss tickers imageimage
  • I keep waivering on this one... one day I'm wanting one and the next I couldn't be bothered. I don't think I'll make a decision until I see how high the No rate is on our RSVPs lol!
  • I say go for it since your parents will be hosting. You friends and family at home will be happy to celebrate with you. Just keep it really low key and relaxed.
  • I'm starting to lean towards it based on one thing I said earlier on (when deciding to accept a shower/stagette.  FI didn't want on (stag) and was asking why I did, and I realized that I didn't necessarly want one, but didn't want to regret missing out on something later since we're only doing this once.  I'm kinda feeling that way today about the AHR.  We don't really want one, but Mom and Dad are hosting everything and it will be super low key, so maybe it won't be too bad??  ;)  Thanks for the ideas ladies.  If anything, maybe it'll be a good excuse to see lots of people we haven't seen in a while and eat cake.  And I do love cake.  

  • I love this post because this is one of the reasons I haven't been able to committ 100% to a DW yet!

    But to know it's okay to do something low-key at home afterwards, makes me happy since I do want to share our special day with everyone that might not be able to make it to our wedding (if we do indeed go that route)!

    Thanks for posting this and ladies, I've enjoyed reading your whys and why nots!

    Thank you!!! :-)
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • Our AHR is huge and our DW is small. I am way more excited about the DW but I think it is going to be great to celebrate with everyone when we return. During the planning process I was HATING my decision of a AHR but now that everything is done I am very excited about it. 
    BabyFruit Ticker
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