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Bridal party question

mpmantzmpmantz
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in New Jersey - South
My Fiance and his sister have never been really close, and had a total blowout a few weeks ago. In the midst of the argument she admitted that she doesn't like me, and never did. She's always been standoff-ish, and I just assumed that was her personality. After their argument, I don't even want to talk to her, let along ask her to be in the bridal party. I know it may be that she said it in anger, but we've been together for 4 years and she's never warmed up to me, we've always just been polite acquaintences. I know his mom will be heartbroken if I don't at least attempt to ask FSIL to be a bridesmaid, but it makes me anxious to even think about it, let alone try. Has anyone ever asked a future in-law to be part of the wedding to keep the peace? I feel like a bridezilla for wanting to kick his sister out of the bridal party...
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Re: Bridal party question

  • viewfromheaven05viewfromheaven05 member
    Fourth Anniversary 500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    well the situation isnt the same for us, but my parents are traditionalists when it comes to weddings.  they fully believe that siblings should be in wedding party.  my mom was completely put off when I didn't want to include FBIL's fiance.  They're not married yet, and she even admitted that she isnt expecting it.  Now on the flip side, my parents pretty much asked me to tell my FI to include my little brother in the wedding party.  So I nicely asked FI to include him.  They're friends, I guess.  I mean they don't hang out except if we're all together, but they have a lot in common (they're in the same field, same interests, same video games, etc.) so it's not the same, but it was done to please my mother.

    That really sucks about how she is acting.  I think you need to do what you want, and maybe talk FMIL and see what she says.  maybe she'll say it's not a good idea because of the actions that happened.
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  • taccotentaccoten
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't include her.  I've seen this happen a few times with people I know and there is no reason why you should have someone, who openly doesn't like you, standing by you pretending to be one of your closest friends/family members on your wedding day.  If she openly said she doesn't like you, how could she expect to be a part of your bridal party?  If she, or any of your fiance's family members, gets mad about it, explain why!  After all, it is YOUR wedding and your bridal party should be the people who support you and your marriage!
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  • miguelhilary2010miguelhilary2010
    5000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I wouldnt make her a bridesmaid.  If FI and FMIL want her involved, she can either be one of FI's attendants or a reader.  Dont put yourself through the stress and aggrivation knowing in advance that she doesn't like you.

    My brother and FI get along, but they aren't friends.  My brother has lived in FL the whole time FI and I have been together so they haven't gotten an oppotunity to get to know each other well.  I wanted my brother included in my wedding, so he's one of my attendants (my bridesman).  There is nothing wrong with mixing men and women in the bridal party.
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