Help a sister out..

mbody · May 2012

Ok. So, my MOH e-mailed me today asking for my bra/underwear size. I'm assuming this is for the bachelorette party. In my circle, we do give lingerie type stuff for b-parties. However, I literally don't wear it, and I wouldn't even bring any on the HM.

My other really good friend was talking about this about 2-3 months ago. She had the idea of maybe suggesting to our friends to get gifts for the HM but not lingerie. Like maybe a swim cover-up, cute tank, that type of stuff.

Anyway, I always fall under the 'you can't request type of gifts train of thought, so I don't know if they should do the second option. However, we are a close group of friends, and I don't really anticipate anyone getting upset with a "Hey, Michelle doesn't need/want any lingerie' line.

Onto my question: Should I tell my MOH that I don't want any lingerie and just tell her that I'd feel bad b/c it would be a waste. (I don't think this would come as a shock to her- we've been bffs since preschool.) And, then she can decide what to do with that info..

Or should I just keep quiet, and except the lingerie and then just return it for store credit. I mean, if it's V.S. then I could always get a bathing suit, swim cover-up, yoga pants, ect.

bridetobe71412 · May 2012

Hmmm.

Since you said that she's your bff and knows you since forever, I would say something like: "I really appreciate you asking. I wear a size small, and I could really use some cute BEACH WEAR for my HM since YOU KNOW ME and I don't wear lingerie -- EVER" to your bff and hope she gets the hint? It's hard to nip this in the bud without being like "I know why you're asking, and I don't want it" but I think you may need to come out and actually say something.

As you said, it's not the end of the world if you have to return stuff but it'd be better if you didn't have to.

ceglare4 · May 2012

I would let your MOH know that lingerie just isn't your thing. Like you said, I wouldn't make suggestions for alternatives, and I wouldn't make a big deal about it after you let her know. She, and all the other girls, can do whatever they want with that information, but then maybe you won't feel guilty returning it all afterward since they were warned

arunkumar · May 2012

I think you should be honest and say lingerie is not something you want. Your friends will understand and they'd rather get you something you'll use. I would be hurt if I got you something I was told you'd enjoy, but then you returned it all to buy other things.

I don't know if getting gifts to use on your honeymoon is that appropriate. Plus you might get things you won't like either and have to end up returning them (who needs an extra thing to do right before your wedding/honeymoon).

I'm not fond on lingerie either (FI doesn't think it's necessary). I asked my sister to put on my bachelorette party invitation "No gifts necessary. Your presence is your present" Maybe forgoe gifts all together and just enjoy everyone coming to your bachelorette party?

KatieK501 · May 2012

I, personally, would probably go ahead and give her my lingerie sizes, then also mention that I was hoping for the other things. That leaves it up to her if she wants to spread the word or not...but that may mean that you'd get some lingere.

To be honest, I did something similar to the other people who are throwing my showers (my aunt is throwing one and one of my bridesmaids is throwing another). I told them where I was registered, and that if anyone asked if there was something I was hoping for, that it's the dishes. It may not be the propper thing to do, but some people do ask, and I thought the hosts should know.

ceglare4 · May 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_july-2012-weddings_help-a-sister-out?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:066005ef-215f-48b1-8655-328b41e07c52Discussion:a0855505-efb1-4c2e-a810-a46ce2cd8cb0Post:94fd7ed5-dcd9-4993-b828-dd70ef9b82a9">Re: Help a sister out..</a>:
[QUOTE]I, personally, would probably go ahead and give her my lingerie sizes, then also mention that I was hoping for the other things. That leaves it up to her if she wants to spread the word or not...but that may mean that you'd get some lingere. To be honest, I did something similar to the other people who are throwing my showers (my aunt is throwing one and one of my bridesmaids is throwing another). <strong>I told them where I was registered, and that if anyone asked if there was something I was hoping for, that it's the dishes. It may not be the propper thing to do, but some people do ask, and I thought the hosts should know.</strong>
Posted by KatieK501[/QUOTE]

Just my two cents but I think this is perfectly fine.

mbody · May 2012

Thanks for the input everyone. I think I'll just let my MOH know that it's not my thing and just leave it at that.

I don't mean to sound ungrateful so I hope it didn't come off that way. Personally, I'd rather someone get something they actually want and will use so I was looking at it from that perspective. Either way, I'd be happy and I'm looking to spend the weekend with my closest friends

butterflyjumper1 · May 2012

I agree with the others. I would say exactly what bridetobe said. You aren't asking for a certain type of gift by saying this - just letting her know that while you appreciate the thought/effort, you really wouldn't use/wear lingerie, and if people do want to give you gifts, another type of gift would be much appreciated.

Some girls in my circle (in addition to the lingerie that we usually do) do gifts like wine/champagne, wine glasses and champagne flutes, books to read for the honeymoon, beach wear, sexy smelling candles/lotions, etc. I am sure your MOH will be creative and make sure girls know that these are the type of gifts that you would prefer in a classy way.

But, like you said, returning things wouldn't be the end of the world, if people do disregard advice and buy lingerie anyway. And who knows, maybe you would end up having fun with one or two fun pieces of lingerie to take on the honeymoon

mekiakoo · May 2012

Yeah I would just tell her especially since she is your best friend. Don't see it as a big deal. I would do the same and tell my best friend "heck no thanks!"

Help a sister out..

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