Sister offered to make invites - WWYD

n3rdl3t · July 2012

My younger sister, who is an art major, offered to create my invitations/papergoods for the wedding back in May. It is now almost August and I have not seen any work done on this, nor has she really been in good contact with me (she lives an hour away). I'll try to call her and she'll get all pissy because she was eating dinner or I'll leave a message and never hear back. About 2 weeks ago I gave her all of the finalized wording, time, address etc and she still hasn't gotten back to me about anything.

I have a groupon that is only good until maybe the first week in September, so I need to have all my paper designs done before them so I can place the order. I really don't want to hurt my sister's feelings and tell her that she is no longer creating the invites/papergoods and that I am just going to do something myself, but at this point it feels like I'm going to end up having nothing by the time I need to place my order.

What would you do?

cnf2013 · July 2012

I'd call her again and say something like "I appreciate your offer to help me with my paper good, but I am on a time line and I need to place my order by X date. If you still want to keep up your offer to help, I'd really appreciate if you could get me the finished designed by Y date so I have time to look them over before I order. If I don't have the designs from you by Y date, please don't be offended that I look elsewhere for my paper goods." Give her dates that leave you enough time to find something else and still place you order on time to use your coupon.

Also, she's being a butthole. I'd be frustrated with her too if I was in your shoes.

ems27 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2013-weddings_sister-offered-to-make-invites-wwyd?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:f30b0bfc-508d-415c-bf59-ab83e327da37Discussion:98ab9c15-d261-4fb2-8118-553c3061f6afPost:4b70351b-719e-487e-8f44-71ae3da962df">Sister offered to make invites - WWYD</a>:
[QUOTE]My younger sister, who is an art major, offered to create my invitations/papergoods for the wedding back in May. It is now almost August and I have not seen any work done on this, nor has she really been in good contact with me (she lives an hour away). I'll try to call her and she'll get all pissy because she was eating dinner or I'll leave a message and never hear back. About 2 weeks ago I gave her all of the finalized wording, time, address etc and she still hasn't gotten back to me about anything. I have a groupon that is only good until maybe the first week in September, so I need to have all my paper designs done before them so I can place the order. I really don't want to hurt my sister's feelings and tell her that she is no longer creating the invites/papergoods and that I am just going to do something myself, but at this point it feels like I'm going to end up having nothing by the time I need to place my order. What would you do?
Posted by n3rdl3t[/QUOTE]

I would just give her a hard end date- maybe August 15?- that you need her design by. That will give you a week or two after that if anything really needs adjusting.

I used to get the same way about phone calls- so maybe send her a detailed email rehashing what you'd discussed previously, and explain that you have a Groupon that you want to use before it expires (don't send her the end date or she might use THAT as the deadline), so you would really like to get things together by August 15 to make sure it is all in order. I'd open the email checking about how she is doing, blahblahblah, and end with a "call me if you have questions about any of this, and let me know if you're too busy with your projects to do this! I know how school can get."

Then I'd text her that I sent an email about the invites since they need to be done soon.

Aaaaand since I am beyond Type A, I would be working on a backup plan :-)

n3rdl3t · July 2012

Lol.. I tried email as well.. and then texted her asking to let me know that she got the email (since I was sending it to a new email address) she didn't respond, so the next day I called her and asked her and she said she'd look.. 3 days later she responded to the email.. so yea.. IDK.. she is just annoying the F out of me lately and this just puts the icing on the cake

I've also tried having my mom talk to her about it when she was home for the weekend and that didn't get much response either.

Good idea on giving her a drop dead date and working on a backup plan anyways

I've had some graphic design classes but I am super anal about everything when it comes to that

rooney2012 · July 2012

I'd be straightforward. Tell her that you found a company that wants to work with you (and can't take chances depending on her). Let her know you're not mad, but this is what you need to do. It seems like she doesn't really want to do it, and if you reread what you posted, it seems like you've already decided to give her the boot. Your thoughts about hurting her feelings won't last as long as the worries about everything else.

My sis offered to make the cake. When I mentioned it to her only a few weeks later, she said, "What cake?" I instantly told her she is off the cake-making duty. No hard feelings. No worries about a disaster either.
She is also my MOH... so we'll see how that goes! hahaha. Love her to death, but she's a busy lady!

ashbeth06 · July 2012

My MOH is making mine and like your sister she went to school for art (graphic design specifically). I keep messaging her ideas, but what really "got the ball rolling" was sending her the word document with the wording I wanted for STD, Invitation and response card.

You just might have to keep bugging her about it. My MOH just had a baby, but she is also planning her wedding so the quicker she can get mine finalized, then she can figure her wedding out and do her own.

sparkles776 · July 2012

I also had someone offer to do our invitations right when we got engaged and that is the last I have heard of it, so I am looking elsewhere. I think cnf worded it perfectly, that is exactly what I would do/say.

anastassiiat · July 2012

I think the ladies above gave you some great advice! The only thing that I'm wondering is does your sister usually wait until last minute to do things? I'm asking because a lot of the times I personally wait until literally right before the deadline when asked to do something. Like my parents wanted me to translate something for them by X date recently, and they gave me plenty of notice, and I still didn't sit down to do it until one day before X. So if your sister is that way, too, the direct deadline could do the trick maybe?

Sister offered to make invites - WWYD

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