Stag & Doe parties are very popular where I live, if you don't know what a stag & doe is it is a party put on by the bride, groom and wedding party to make money for the wedding. Normally they rent hall charge 10 bucks to get in and sell tickets to prizes people have donated and sell booze. Here's the issue, I do not plan on having one because they are a lot of adding work and a lot of people either break even or make just some money.
Last year my FI was in a wedding party and was asked to donate money for a Texas Mickey ($30 bucks) and purchase another bottle as a raffle price ($30) the tickets for the stag & doe at 10 bucks each...so before we even got to the party we spent $80, then when we got there we felt obligate to buy raffle tickets and drinks, the night cost us about $100 bucks and he still had to rent his tux. This wedding cost us more then we could afford since we have been renovating our house.
So now we have 3 weddings in September to attend and have been invited to 2 stag & doe parties. One of the weddings my FI is in and they have decided to do the same as last years stag and doe by asking them to contribute a bottle of booze and money to a Texas Mickey and then he will have to rent a tux. We are saving up for our own wedding and trying to finish renovating our house, we can not afford to buy gifts for weddings and stag and doe donations....
Is it rude to tell them that we can only either give them the stag and doe donations or a wedding gift?