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Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
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The B List

wagnerj3wagnerj3
100 Comments
in Texas-Dallas and Ft. Worth
Hey ladies
I have heard several of you mention a B list. I love this idea but have a few questions about how to handle the logistics in a non-tacky manor. Do you send out the invites really early, like 8 weeks in advance or even sooner? And then how did you decide when/if to send invites to people on the B list?  We have about 85-90 invites going out but we assume a lot of the out of towners will not come (a huge part of our list is OOT)and we have no idea if several of our single friends will bring dates.  John thinks 100 people will come and I think at least 125 or more.  We are so clueless. Our wedding is April 17 and we asked people to RSVP by March 25th. Maybe I should have put sooner but they are already printed. Thanks for your help!!

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Re: The B List

  • desireedpdesireedp
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I would not recommend having a B list. The logistics on it is just too complicated. If I were to get an invite two or even three weeks out from a wedding, I would feel like an afterthought. If you want to check on the etiquette of this, I'd recomment posting this on the Etiquette board.
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  • TCUESW1999TCUESW1999 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I had the same situation you are in.  We had a huge list of OOT since my husband's family is not from TX.  I hope this isn't confusing but we had about 400 people on the list to invite but had a budget for 175.  My MIL assured me that hardly anyone would come from where she lives but wanted me to send out invitations as a courtesy.  She was right, most people could not come. 
    I sent out the invitations out the week before Labor Day and our wedding was October 31st with my reply deadline the
    16th of October.  I guess I lucked out because the guests sent back their replies very quickly and for every no I got back I sent out another invitation.  However, I did not send any more out after a certain date, which was about 2 weeks before the deadline date....not the wedding date. 
    I took my MIL's word that not everyone would show on her end and  it's probably not the smartest thing to do but in our case most people from OOT were elderly and could not travel.  It just happened to work for us.  No one knew they were on the A or B list because I addressed and sent out the invitations myself and didn't talk to anyone about it.  It is not the etiquette thing to do (and I come from a family that is nuts about proper etiquette!) but in our case it worked out.  I hope this helps.  Good luck! 
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  • wagnerj3wagnerj3
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011
    TCU thank you, that really helps. I have been invited to two weddings on the B list and honestly, it didn't bother me at all.  And I am usually a big etiquette girl. I guess I just understood that there is only so much space and money and everyone has different size families. For me, I have had a business in town for almost 6 years and I have a lot of really dedicated clients that I would love to include but they would in no way expect to be invited. But the Crow can only fit 120 chairs (we will probably have to have our party stand the whole time) so I can't invite too many! :)

    Thanks again

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  • TCUESW1999TCUESW1999 member
    100 Comments
    edited December 2011

    Lol, me too.  I enjoy going to weddings and I don't care if I am on the A, B, or C list.  Being on the "other side" now I have a better understanding of weddings and what all goes into planning them.  I don't envy my friends getting married and all the hoopla, I am glad it is over!  :)

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