Advice? Upset Aunt.

MsRClark · July 2012

I have decided to have two Flower Girls...My Aunt's daughter (She's 8) and my really close friend's daughter (She's 7). My other Aunt is extremely upset that I didn't put her Granddaughter (She's 5) in the wedding and she's making it known to other family members, which has them pointing fingers and telling me that I'm wrong. She's very sensitive loves to start mess.

I didn't choose my younger cousin specifically because I know how she is and I know that she will not walk down the aisle without stopping or crying.

Any advice on how I can calm this issue down?

tlal1026 · July 2012

You could very nicely explain you thought she was still just a bit too young. Or is it a possibility to have all 3 girls walk down together?

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

Whichever parent gives you the bloodlines to this aunt should talk to her. She is way out of line.

mmmendi · July 2012

I was a flower girl in my Aunt's wedding, and cried the whole time! If she has addressed you directly, or perhaps even if not, you can assure her you are concerned that attention and stress might be too much fir her granddaughter. If you feel you should include her, perhaps you can ask your Aunt if she would be willing to help her granddaughter fulfill another function

- handing out send-off bubbles, maybe. On the other hand, there isn't any reason in the world that you HAVE to respond, or cannot respond with 'I'm sorry she is upset. That certainly was not the intention'

NOLAbridealmost · July 2012

She just needs to chill the F out. I agree with having whoever is closest to her (your mom? dad? etc?) talk her down.

kmmssg · July 2012

Agree that maybe your mom or dad can tell her to chill. Other than that, I wouldn't entertain any convo about it unless she directly came to you and then I would tell her you have made your choices and they stand. It isn't an elementary musical production! I hate it when people get like that.

ElleB87 · July 2012

Your aunt is being ridiculous. It's up to you to pick your bridal party and attendants. Obviously you want to pick people who mean something to you...not some distant relative you barely know. I'd personally stand up to her myself...but maybe that's just me. I wouldn't tolerate her behaviour for 5 seconds. You don't have to be defensive or anything just call her up or sit her down and say something like "I've carefully chosen my bridal party and attendants to reflect my closest relationships. I would appreciate it if you would respect that and not gossip about me to other relatives. If you have a problem with my wedding related decisions you should either come to me directly or keep it to yourself"

HiyaToots · July 2012

This is your wedding in the end. People want to get involved, and have some sort of say to have some sort of control or some sort of ownership. Dont lose sight of what you envisioned. I am pretty sure the little girl isnt aware and couldnt really care much whether or not she is involved (you are probably doing her a favor actually), your aunt just wants to have a piece of herself in the spotlight. Even if you included her grandbaby in now, she will still be sour that you didnt ask initially. Hopefully, her intentions werent for other relatives to be so bitter towards you. If you dont want to get your parents involved, write her a letter. She would have no choice but thoroughly hear your side out, no interruptions.

MsRClark · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_customs-traditions_advice-upset-aunt?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:36Discussion:f67075b8-e8ef-44a3-b0b9-4aa3030abbaePost:64702635-82d6-402a-b1eb-3162f1b79c75">Advice? Upset Aunt.</a>:
[QUOTE]I have decided to have two Flower Girls...My Aunt's daughter (She's 8) and my really close friend's daughter (She's 7). My other Aunt is extremely upset that I didn't put her Granddaughter (She's 5) in the wedding and she's making it known to other family members, which has them pointing fingers and telling me that I'm wrong. She's very sensitive loves to start mess. I didn't choose my younger cousin specifically because I know how she is and I know that she will not walk down the aisle without stopping or crying. Any advice on how I can calm this issue down?
Posted by MsRClark[/QUOTE]

Thanks Everone for the wonderful advice!!!

Lisa50 · August 2012

Honestly, I don't think you can calm it down ... not now, anyway. Since this is your aunt's usual mode, let her wear herself out. When other family members want to tell you all about it, let them know -- every so politely -- that you're aware and would prefer not to discuss it any further. It's not a good situation, but at least you were not completely surprised by your aunt's actions. Hang in there! Good luck.

ashleipyle · August 2012

I have the SAME problem, we started planing our wedding 4 months ago, at the time our wedding was 2 years away, my fiances step mother THREW A TOTAL FIT that we didnt choose her grand daughters as our flower girls. As much as we love those little girls, their parents do not get along with my fiance and I due to religious differences, but mostly because we live together and arent married yet, but thats a whole different rant. But they forbid us from seeing their daughters due to this.

My fiance's step mother has gone so far as to say that she will pay for their dresses and everything. She threw a chair across the room when we said that her daughter is not even invited.

Things got so heated that we told everyone we canceled the wedding, even though we are planning in secret.

No one except the bridal party will know until they recieve the invite.

Advice? Upset Aunt.

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