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Still want to give gift...what to say

Salsera29Salsera29 member
First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
in Wedding Party
My FSIL just called and without giving me details, said she's not sure if she still wants to be a BM. It was obviously because of something going on in her life that is upsetting her/stressing her out (that she didn't want to share right then). 

Ugh I feel so bad because she sounded really out of sorts and was nervous that I was going to be upset. Which I wasn't. I told her that we would still be completely happy to have her there as an honored guest. 

If she decides for sure to drop out, then I have a question. I have found what I think is an amazing, perfect gift for her. 

Here's the pic if you're curious...

Is there any way I could still give this to her at the wedding (or related events?) I could wait for her birthday, but I'd rather not.
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Re: Still want to give gift...what to say

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    AJuliaNJAJuliaNJ member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    Sure! Why not? You can give gifts to whomever you want. She will probably really appreciate it with all she's going through.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    People are free to give each other gifts whenever they want, so if you want her to have it, give it to her as planned.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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    [Deleted User][Deleted User]
    First Comment
    I definitely would. instead of a card saying "thanks for being my bridesmaid" write her a note saying "I'm so excited to become your sister." I'm sure she would be incredibly touched.
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    Salsera29Salsera29 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper First Comment
    edited February 2013
     Vonclancy that's a good idea, I'll do that and give it to her privately. 

    I also wanted to say how grateful I am for these boards and all of the advice from the regs and everyone here. It could have been a really awkward conversation, but because of all I've read on here, I knew exactly what to say to (hopefully) make her feel better. 

    ETA: Also, to make myself feel better, knowing that it happens, it's not an insult to me and I don't have to "replace" her. 
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