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June 2012 Weddings
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Bridesmaid problems

caitlintaylor07caitlintaylor07 member
100 Comments Second Anniversary
in June 2012 Weddings
I am so frustrated! There is a long back story but here is the short version:

One of my 'best' friends, hasn't been acting like a best friend at all. In fact, it's pretty much become one of those friendships that she will only text/call me when it is for something she needs/wants/ect. I am the maid of honor in her wedding in August. She got engaged before me... but we decided to have a short engagement. She has been taking this out on me since the day we set a date! She was supposed to be my MOH but I bumped her down because she is treating me like trash. She never responds to my texts, calls. She can never find time to have dinner with me/ect ect. She just now (yesterday) went to order her BM dress. She isn't attending or helping with my shower. I am a photographer and she is constantly taking advantage... when she DOES call me it's because she wants photos... her daughter's photos made.. I did her engagements and her bridals and she is mad because I told her there is no way I can be a photographer and MOH at her wedding. All of this is free, of course.

Now we are 5 weeks and some days from my wedding. I feel like she doesn't want to be in it... I feel like she wants nothing to do with me. I feel like after the weddings are over our friendship is pretty much done.

I don't really know what i'm looking for... just needed to vent. It breaks my heart because I don't have many close girl friends and I feel like I am losing one of my very best ones.
Married 6/23/2012 Photobucket
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Re: Bridesmaid problems

  • kimiandgarykimiandgary
    100 Comments
    Just out of curiousity how did you "bump her down" ? This probably didn't help your cause.

    It sucks that the strain of weddings ruins friendships.
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  • Ash61612Ash61612 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    I would just let it go at this point. You have done all you could do and the ball is in your court. If you feel its causing too much stress or drama, I would step down from being MOH in her wedding.
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  • MMCBRIDE4MMCBRIDE4
    100 Comments

    I would try to have a serious heart to heart with her the next time you talk/see her. Explain how you are feeling.

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  • caitlintaylor07caitlintaylor07 member
    100 Comments Second Anniversary
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_june-2012-weddings_bridesmaid-problems?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:3ae4d68d-f10a-4dec-8810-da13c14a7b86Discussion:b6ce0eb3-61ef-4722-9875-d9239345e61fPost:8d94d9e7-5f53-423a-b246-03350008057c">Re: Bridesmaid problems</a>:
    [QUOTE]Just out of curiousity how did you "bump her down" ? This probably didn't help your cause. It sucks that the strain of weddings ruins friendships.
    Posted by kimiandgary[/QUOTE]

    No, she never knew about this. I had known my engagement was coming and in my head thought I would be asking her. I ended up asking my sister instead.
    Married 6/23/2012 Photobucket
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  • peachykeen26peachykeen26 member
    1000 Comments Combo Breaker
    Yeah. You can't un-ask her but you can drop out of hers.
    She will make her own decision though I see this as atoxic relationship it you're probably better off without her.

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  • precamiesprecamies
    100 Comments
    you know, it might just turn out to be the other way around. once all the wedding stress is gone for both of you, you might start going back to normal.
    I feel like I hurt one of my best friends unintentionally, because her engagement was broken off shortly before I got engaged. she had been very very good about it, but I know she's hurting. so I try not to have too much of the wedding talk with her. and it has put a dent in our relationship a little, but I just know that once this whole thing passes and she has some more time to put past away, we will be just fine again.
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  • michelletobinmichelletobin
    100 Comments
    That is a hard situation. It appears she is having some jealousy because your wedding is before hers, like maybe your are stealing some of her thunder so to speak.  However, she is supposed to be your best friend so for her to treat you that way is not right.  Everyone gets busy but she agreed to be a part of your wedding, so she should. Maybe just have a long talk with her and find out what is really going on. Tell her how you feel and maybe she will tell you her feelings as well. If he will only text you, then text her that you really need to talk. I had to do that with my bridesmaid. She was my best friend but we just don't seem very close anymore. i called her and told her my feelings and she said some stuff that I had no idea about. communication is important in any type of relationship.
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  • HarperBargoHarperBargo
    500 Comments
    I agree with PP. Communication is key. Maybe something else is going on in her life that has caused her to withdraw. My BM was totally MIA for awhile back in January. We went weeks without talking which is not like us at all. I finally called her up and asked her to coffee and I wouldn't take no for an answer. She finally opened up that she was having health issues again and was just stressed.

    You owe it to her to tell her how you feel and if you don't get a response then you can step out of her wedding.
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