Snarky Brides

What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!

Seriously annoyed by guests that will not mail back a stamped RSVP. What is the deal with this??? Are there lives so busy and important that they don't have time to check a box and drop the thing in the mail?? It is so stressful to plan a wedding alone (which is what I am doing) and I can't take much more stress. I am ready to call these people and tell them to not even bother coming. Sorry, just venting here. Anyone else had this problem??

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Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!

  • bunni727bunni727 member
    Fifth Anniversary 1000 Comments 250 Love Its First Answer
    edited March 2013
    We had a ton of people not RSVP, which is frustrating, but my family is used to much more casual receptions, so I wasn't surprised. I just called or sent them an email to ask if they could make it.

    Is the date in your planner right? They may have not sent it back because the wedding is still over a month away. 
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  • I don't even have a date yet, and I'm fully ready to call about 1/3 of our list.  That side of the family just doesn't do RSVPs.

    Then again, I hear the crazy about etiquette side of the family did a horrible job of RSVPing to my sister's wedding.

    People have lives.  They screw up.  I think I'm the only one that ever sends in my RSVP early, lol. 
    I guess, to tell you the truth, I've never had much of a desire to grow facial hair. I think I've managed to play quarterback just fine without a mustache. - Peyton
  • I think it happens to most people.

    When my friend got married, she had a min food order of 100 plates. She sent invites to 170 people. At one point within 3 weeks of the wedding, she was only at 60 RSVPd and freaking out. She had just gone with the 100 plates in the end because she had to pay for them anyway. 6 ended up coming but a ton of them never had responded. Lucky for buffets...

    For a recent wedding, the bride didn't put stamps on her reply cards because hardly anyone sent them back for  her sister's wedding and she didn't want to waste the money. I remember receiving it and having to bring it to the post office because I didn't have any stamps and wondered how many people would go that far....but apparently, she got most people RSVP through the mail..

    FI rec'd an invite last year that we knew we wouldn't attend instantly because it was far far far away. I started to check it off and he said we can't reply "no" so fast and said he'd take car of it. He never did. I found it and was mad at him.

    People have lives but they should know better. Totally vent worthy!
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  • I agree it is annoying but there's not much you can do about it. When my sister got married she sent out over 100 invites and only got 12 RSVPs back. The majority of them were from BIL's side of the family who don't speak English (those invitations were in Spanish) so BIL and his mother had to make tons of calls the week leading up to the wedding. It's irritating but making phone calls is inevitable.
  • Lots of people have this problem.

    i had 30ish phone calls to make due to missing rsvps just so I could give numbers to our caterer.

    People just don't understand the importance.  The people who DID rsvp promptly?  All couples who had recently gotten married themselves.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-is-so-hard-about-mailing-back-an-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9d5e4f4-8c0e-42c6-b498-b7fcecb271b7Post:ec58636a-e1f1-4dd2-8a15-494fa622a751">Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]Lots of people have this problem. i had 30ish phone calls to make due to missing rsvps just so I could give numbers to our caterer. People just don't understand the importance.  The people who DID rsvp promptly?  <strong>All couples who had recently gotten married themselves.</strong>
    Posted by anna.oskar[/QUOTE]

    lol sounds about right.
    imageimageimage

    You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
  • I did not recieve my onvitation to my sister's wedding until after the RSVP date. I would have sent it back right away though.
  • I enjoy the juxtoposition between your screen name and your excessively punctuated rant.

    image
    Everything the light touches is my kingdom.
  • Calling them to tell them not bother coming is so much classier than their late RSVP. Please come back and let us know how that goes over.
  • ViczaesarViczaesar Central Coast, CA member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    When exactly is your RSVP date? Because your wedding is still over a month away.



  • I can see how that would be frustrating, but I agree that it comes as no surprise. If you call them, it should be to confirm, not to un-invite them. It is not worth it to let it ruin your big day.
  • I'd give it until the 3 week out mark and then start calling. Some friends and family don't respond because they figure u know they will be there. Some people just assume that you know this. Try to be patient. When are your final numbers due? 2 weeks out? Also, if your budget allows, give a higher number than RSVP's for last minute show ups. It's def aggravating (sp?) but unfortunately normal
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-is-so-hard-about-mailing-back-an-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9d5e4f4-8c0e-42c6-b498-b7fcecb271b7Post:b4e3b4b0-916f-4a27-871e-6121a1a3bb8a">Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]I enjoy the juxtoposition between your screen name and your excessively punctuated rant.
    Posted by J&K10910[/QUOTE]
    Was that really necessary?
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-is-so-hard-about-mailing-back-an-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9d5e4f4-8c0e-42c6-b498-b7fcecb271b7Post:7413c63f-323a-4c12-82e9-9062fbc3834e">Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?! : Was that really necessary?
    Posted by rvaobxbridetobe[/QUOTE]

    Overreact much? It is pretty funny, did you even look to see what the OP's screen name is?

     

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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-is-so-hard-about-mailing-back-an-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9d5e4f4-8c0e-42c6-b498-b7fcecb271b7Post:f5e917b1-7ad6-494b-aabf-2d359c3888b0">Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?! : Overreact much? It is pretty funny, did you even look to see what the OP's screen name is?
    Posted by Angelface225[/QUOTE]

    it was still rude and had NOTHING to do with her posed issue
    ****The Future Mrs. Ikeard**** wedding countdown
  • Everyone answered her posted issue and said they had the same issue and reassured her. If you're going to be this sensitive to a little humor, Internet communities may not be the place for you. Nothing was mean spirited or lashing out, just pointing out something ironic and comical while supporting the OP.

     

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  • thejucheideathejucheidea East Nashville, Tennessee member
    Tenth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_snarky-brides_what-is-so-hard-about-mailing-back-an-rsvp?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:17Discussion:f9d5e4f4-8c0e-42c6-b498-b7fcecb271b7Post:f2252c96-37b3-4785-ad02-4bbf2511a701">Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?!</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: What is so hard about mailing back an RSVP?!?!?! : it was still rude and had NOTHING to do with her posed issue
    Posted by aquari0216[/QUOTE]
    I tried to read your post, but all I could see was 'bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww'

  • gpeeplesgpeeples member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited March 2013
    I'm expecting to make a lot of phone calls.  For my brother's wedding no one from my family RSVP'd (I personally think it was because they didn't send response cards, just listed a number to call to RSVP).  Technically, I guess I never RSVP'd, but I figured it went without saying, since we are very close, and I speak to him multiple times a week on the phone, so it seemed silly to me to give a *special* RSVP call.  Now that I am planning my wedding, he and my sister-in-law got back at me by cutting off the bottom part of the response card that said "Sorry, cannot attend," and mailing it back after removing the return address label.  After FI and I spent 2 hours making a spreadsheet narrowing down the guestlist by the postmark and those already responded, I called my brother to complain and after about 15 minutes he dropped a hint that let me know it had been him!  Afterwards, we laughed about it, but for those 2 hours I was going crazy!
  • I'm still getting RSVP cards back and our wedding is less than two weeks away...get used to it, unfortuantely.  Happens to everyone.
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