Okay...so here's the story on my situation. We are planning a small destination wedding (for which we are footing the entire bill for). There are lots of people we would invite if we were having a wedding at home, but it just isn't possible to invite everyone.
Here's the problem- My bridesmaids want to throw me a shower, but I know that you aren't supposed to invite people to a shower that aren't invited to the wedding. I have quite a few girlfriends who aren't going to the wedding (wish they could) but who would like to help celebrate us getting married. Instead of calling it a shower, can we call it a girl's party or pre-wedding party or whatever, or is it still impolite? It's not a matter of gifts, and I'm perfectly happy with whatever the invitation is saying "no gifts". I just wanted to be able to celebrate and get together with friends who can't go to the wedding.