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To Register or not to Register...

cdevinecdevine
10 Comments
in Second Weddings
I've heard from people on another wedding board that it's rude and tacky to register for gifts if you've been married before.

My ex husband got everything in the divorce, leaving me with very little, not a huge deal i didn't need it at the time.
My fiance has never been married and is excited about registering , we just bought a house and we're putting it together.

So should we register? and how to handle if family members want to throw a shower?

thank you!
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Re: To Register or not to Register...

  • Sue-n-KevinSue-n-Kevin member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    Check the similar post a ways down.

    Second weddings can be treated like first ones. If you want people to know what to get you if they choose to provide a gift (instead of guessing), then register. We didn't, but then we had 2, and sometimes 3 of everything!
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  • boaznruthboaznruth
    10 Comments
    I'd say go for it. Just because you register doesn't mean gusts have to buy you a gift from your registry and those who do want to get you something but have no clue what you'd like will likely appreciate it. We didn't register, but we really didn't need anything.
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  • right1thistimeright1thistime member
    Ninth Anniversary 1000 Comments 25 Love Its Name Dropper
    We had at least 3 of everything.  That's why we DID register.  How the heck else would anyone know that we needed towels in aqua, or king size sheets & pillows? 
    It's rude to not give your guests some idea of how best to spend their hard earned money, when you are ridiculously hard to buy for. 
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  • PopPowPopPow
    100 Comments
    I wasnt going to register. We have lots of things but numerous people kept asking where I was registered at. So I did a small registry, FI didn't "get" it." Why register for sheets, we have sheets?" Um sheets wear out. LOL
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  • dawnleanna1dawnleanna1
    100 Comments
    edited May 2012
    We are registering. We originally were against it because together we have alot of "stuff", but in the end we decided to register anyway. Neither of us had a big wedding or shower the first time around so I think it's ok. I wasn't even planning on having a shower but my MOH suprised me with the idea of throwing me one. So after talking it over with my mom and FI some, I am going to accept. It's a wonderful gesture, and as pp said, some ppl will just want to get you a gift. FI isn't thrilled about the idea but I talked him into a honeymoon registry through travelersjoy.com. That is one thing we could really use gifts for :) I also just created a small registry at Bed Bath and Beyond, mostly kitchen stuff and cookware because I'm an avid cook and now with my new family have 4 kids! In my opinion, you should register. You are starting a new home and that is what a wedding shower is all about. Don't let naysayers ruin the excitement of you and your FI's new life together!
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    We did not register.  We received a couple of things we did not want, a few things that were not expected (but nice) and a lot of cash.  Would we make the same choice again?  Ehh .. I'm still not sure.

    I am sorry that's not very helpful ...
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its
    We registered, but DH (then fi, didn't get it either, like the poster above).  Because we had a wedding with only the two of us (no guests) there weren't a lot of gifts, anyway.  But still a LOT of people kept asking, because they wanted to show their support and love some way.  So, we got a few gift cards, and one crystal vase that we never would have selected.  Of course, that was from my sister.  The same one that gave me a crystal punch bowl for my first wedding. (We had NOTHING when I married my first husband, and apparently she thought we really needed a punch bowl more than dishes or pots and pans.  WTF?!!??). 
    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • 20pearls1620pearls16 member
    1000 Comments Second Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I actually just registered today. I struggled with this also, but I for one do not like to give money. I would rather buy a gift.
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  • squarepeg72squarepeg72
    100 Comments
    At first, I was not going to register anywhere. But after several of his family and mine asked, I decided to do 3 small ones so those that wanted to, could use it. Several people did not want to do gift cards (we are fixing up his grandmother's/our house) and this is a nice way to let them know things we want or need.
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  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_second-weddings_to-register-or-not-to-register?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:35Discussion:d9a4cb98-2a44-4489-86e0-73c9407a9461Post:ff081c12-7041-4021-a26d-d5979c263fae">Re: To Register or not to Register...</a>:
    [QUOTE]We registered, but DH (then fi, didn't get it either, like the poster above).  Because we had a wedding with only the two of us (no guests) there weren't a lot of gifts, anyway.  But still a LOT of people kept asking, because they wanted to show their support and love some way.  So, we got a few gift cards, and one crystal vase that we never would have selected.  Of course, that was from my sister.  The same one that gave me a crystal punch bowl for my first wedding. (We had NOTHING when I married my first husband, and apparently she thought we really needed a punch bowl more than dishes or pots and pans.  WTF?!!??). 
    Posted by handfast4me[/QUOTE]

    Is crystal your sister's "thing" to give, no matter what?  That is a riot!!!  <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-laughing.gif" border="0" alt="Laughing" title="Laughing" />
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  • handfast4mehandfast4me member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 5 Love Its

    Lisa, you know, that you mention it, it IS!!!!   She gave my daughter and her new husband (these kids started with hardly anything) a set of crystal candlesticks in the shape of seahorses.  My daughter lives in middle Georgia.  My stars. 

    image Don't mess with the old dogs; age and treachery will always overcome youth and skill! BS and brilliance only come with age and experience.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Comment First Anniversary
    I have been struggling with this also. We already have a house together and have all of the "day to day" things. However, I was thinking about registering at a home improvement store or a furniture store. We have been trying to update the house to fit all 6 of us (the 2 of us, and we each have 2 kids from previous marriages). Also, would love to get new living room furniture, but of course, that's out of the budget right now with trying to pay for the wedding. With this being our 2nd for both of us, we are NOT expecting anyone else to pay for it.....
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