Bridesmaid dress question/poll

mmdpm · February 2010

So I am a bridesmaid in my best friend's wedding about 6 months after mine and I am totally excited and all for her. I have pretty much just listened to her plans, agreed to wear the dress, you know let her have her pretty princess day. She's a little more high strung than me.

But herein lies the rub. She has picked out a BM dress and wants all of us to order from the salon she is getting her dress from because she will get a discount on her dress. I have price shopped around near her in Chicago and down here in STL. I can get the dress for $125 dollars cheaper if I buy it at a salon here in STL. Am I a total biotch for wanting to do this? Or do I just keep my yap shut and tighten my belt?

btrflykate1230 · February 2010

Buy it at the salon that's $125 less! Screw that. Being a BM is expensive. Get it at the less expensive place.

laurenclaire1386 · February 2010

She should pick a dress she can afford without a discount. If you can get the same dress for cheaper, there is absolutely no reason not to do it.

shellydiane820 · February 2010

I would say something to her, if she has a fit or something, just spend the money.

Can't she just tell her salon she has 1 less BMs? Not include you on her list.

tlv204 · February 2010

Yeah I'd buy the cheaper one. That's a big difference in price. I might tell her in advance though, not making a big deal out of it, just like "Hey you want to hear something awesome? I found BM dress for $125 cheaper in STL!"

tlv204 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-dress-questionpoll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4288c4fd-678d-41b5-a6f2-d831fd161407Post:da1e50c9-260a-415d-af7c-815b52928463">Re: Bridesmaid dress question/poll</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say something to her, if she has a fit or something, just spend the money. Can't she just tell her salon she has 1 less BMs? Not include you on her list.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

That's a great idea actually, she'd still get her discount.

mmdpm · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-dress-questionpoll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:4288c4fd-678d-41b5-a6f2-d831fd161407Post:da1e50c9-260a-415d-af7c-815b52928463">Re: Bridesmaid dress question/poll</a>:
[QUOTE]I would say something to her, if she has a fit or something, just spend the money. Can't she just tell her salon she has 1 less BMs? Not include you on her list.
Posted by shellydiane820[/QUOTE]

Yeah I thought this too, but it seems that the salon asked her how many BM's she's having and was like oh 4, well when 4 girls buy their bridemaid dresses here you get 30% of your gown.

LauraT25 · February 2010

I think the 'no' vote is because her bridezilla friend lurks on Etiquette.

But seriously, that's insanity. I would tell her your options and to either give you the difference or lose her discount. When I first read the OP, I was thinking, "$125 cheaper?? How much does this freaking dress cost?" because I think $125 is about what I would ask my friends to spend. I don't get these crazy brides choosing expensive bridesmaid dresses.

kd.joseph · February 2010

I would never burden my friends with this choice. My MOH has been given a color to choose from, and that was it. I know her and her husband just bought a house,and I would never burden them over a BM dress.
No true friend would.

megk8oz · February 2010

Oh, hell no! I can't imagine ever agreeing to spend $320 on a BM dress to begin with ... but that dress? I mean, it's not horrible (All things considered), but it's nothing special ... it looks like it shouldn't cost more $125. Save your money.

HEATHERM10 · February 2010

Okay I say order the cheaper one. I gave my girls choices on what they wanted I have a 12 year old and a 32 year old. Totally built diff obviously. I gave my MOH the price picka nd just requested it be knee or tea length and she and my daught picked what they thought would be okay for both and we did find them cheaper online by like $ 50.00 but our price included alterartions so my mom offered to pay difference for MOH she declined the help. But I say you should have the option. The discount she is getting would have bought my dress and our 2 BM dresses and flower girl dress YIKES!

Sarah-Jean · February 2010

Is the bride aware that the dress can be bought for less somewhere else? Maybe she thinks that's how much it is everywhere.
Regardless, IMO, $320 is way to much for a BM dress. I honestly don't know what I would do if a bride picked a dress that expensive.
I'd talk to her about how it's less somewhere else. If she is still insistance on you getting at her salon, then do what PP said & have her tell them she has one less BM & just get it at the place you found. IMO, she'd have to be a CRAZY bridezilla to now understand & 'make' you get it there still.

kbmeow · February 2010

320 !!!! Of my god. Thats huge, Saving 125 is huge I would say go for the cheaper dress. I feel bad that my BM dress and jackets cost 150.

bbyckes · February 2010

That's crazy. $125.00 cheaper? You get screwed so she doesn't? No way.

polichik · February 2010

Think of it this was. In order for her to achieve her $690 discount, each BM has to spend an extra $125 (on a f'ing ridiculous dress cost, btw). That adds up to $500. So, you guys are basically personally paying $500 of her dress cost. F her. Seriously. I'm also in friend-dump mode, but it was her choice to buy such a costly dress. Honestly, she could still save almost $200 if she made up the difference for each of you. Do NOT kowtow to her ridiculousness. Buy your dress at the cheaper place, and be sure to pass on the info to the other BMs. If she has a fit, break her knee or something.

polichik · February 2010

And that drives me crazy. One of my BMs was uncomfortable with the cut of the chest of the dress, and I let her know she was welcome to alter it in any way to make her comfortable. Short of adding straps, you can't do that with a strapless. Did you ever communicate your budget to her? If not, you're within your rights to say "I can spend $XXX on the dress. No higher."

fangsiting · February 2010

$320 on a dress with a bubble hem?!? I didn't think bubble hem dresses could be any worse, but then you showed me this dress and a bubble hem on a tea-length dress has to be the biggest design FAIL of 2010. Definitely buy the cheaper dress.

tiffersnc · February 2010

I would never spend $320 on a BM dress, OR ask my friends to spend that kind of money. BL makes lovely dresses, but this one is simply not worth what your friend is asking you all to do. There is NO excuse for asking your BMs to cough up that kind of money - especially when the same dress is offered at a lower price. Silly. You shouldn't feel bad or be inconvenienced for being smart enough to shop around. I'd do as some PPs have already suggested: ask her to cover the difference. If she refuses, tell her you're going with the cheaper salon.

Lyss5782 · February 2010

I didnt read all the responses, so I apologize if I'm repeating...

Usually people like to order all BM dresses from the same place so that they come from the same dye lot....I dont know if that's an issue for you guys or not. That being said, I would explain the situation to her....that is a HUGE difference in price.

I don't know, on one hand I would probably just shut up and pay it if she really wanted, but on the other, I ordered my girls' dresses on netbride to save them all money...so I can't understand a bride making you do that!

rbtrumpet · February 2010

I would say it depends.

For some brides, they want identical, matching bridesmaids. If you order from a different shop, your dress will not be from the same dye-lot, and may be a slightly different color.

If, however, you are picking your own styles, or if everyone is in a different color, then it shouldn't be a problem to order it on your own (since they will all look different anyways).

I would ask the bride, maybe she is able to help you financially, especially given your own upcoming wedding.

**edit** - Wait!! $320?!? That's insane!!! No one should ever pick a $320 BM dress! (IMHO) I definitely think at that price she should be helping you pay for the dress! Guess I should read the whole thread before I comment...

****second edit**** I voted "answer below" not "no". I'm just going to assume the person who voted straight-out no didn't realize the dress was $320!

rbtrumpet · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_bridesmaid-dress-questionpoll?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:4288c4fd-678d-41b5-a6f2-d831fd161407Post:8b7c0b5e-c39b-43df-b32a-9388f34309d1">Re: Bridesmaid dress question/poll</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Bridesmaid dress question/poll : That's a great idea actually, she'd still get her discount.
Posted by tlv204[/QUOTE]

Not necessarily - the shop I'm going through requires me to buy 5 dresses along with my dress (however, I am getting 10% off everything except my dress - so my bridesmaids are getting the discount).

lizstill13 · February 2010

That's ridiculous! Buy the cheap dress and call it a day!

I had my BMs buy their dress at the salon where I got mine because THEY all got a 15% discount and I got nothing. Gotta look out for my girls!

Karen's MOH · February 2010

If I'm doing the math right-- I actually used a calculator-- for 4 bridesmaids, the total discount at the place you found would be $500. Her discount is $690. If she really wants the discount, she should pay the difference for you guy to order it through her shop. But her shop sucks.

I've never heard of that and I'd be super pissed if someone asked me to buy a $320 dress when I could get it for under $200. Or in general, ever asked me to buy a $320 dress!

EMF9903 · February 2010

Ive spent that much on a bridesmaids dress and I am still a little annoyed (almost 4 years later lol) probably because her husband was a man whore and they were divorced 2 years later.... but anyway if you live somewhere else it is easiest for you to just by a dress near you anyway and 125 off 320 is HUGE!!!!!! I cant imagine any of my friends being upset with me over that. Someone has already said it.... she should get a dress she can afford.

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