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Rehearsal dinner etiquette?

scrabtree134scrabtree134
10 Comments
in Pre-wedding Parties
Hi! I have a question about rehearsal dinners I was hoping to get help with.

I live in Southwest Florida, and I don't want a destination wedding for myself, so I am planning the wedding down here too. We're only inviting family (save for three members of the wedding party) and no one lives any closer than an eleven hour drive. This is definitely a "destination wedding" for everyone attending (94 invites but probably only 60 will come)!

The wedding itself is going to be low-key: morning ceremony on the beach followed by a brunch reception. We've been looking into places to have the rehearsal dinner but my FMIL is pretty insistant that we invite all of the OOT guests, whereas my fiance and I just want to invite the wedding party and immediate family (which would take the guest list down to about 25).  FILs may or may not be contributing to the rehearsal dinner, but my FI and I are planning on covering it anyway.

My question is, are we expected to include all of the OOT guests at the rehearsal dinner? Even if 100% of the guests are from out of town? They're all aunts, uncles, and cousins so they won't be "alone" in a strange town (they would probably be down here for a mini-vacation because of the date/time/location).

Thanks!
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Re: Rehearsal dinner etiquette?

  • mandi921vhmandi921vh member
    Eighth Anniversary 2500 Comments Combo Breaker
    edited December 2011
    Usually only immediate family, and the WP are invited to the RD, some choose to include OOT guests although it is not required. If you and your FI are paying for the RD then you choose who you would like to invite.
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  • jessicabessicajessicabessica member
    2500 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited December 2011
    Most of my OOT guests expect to be invited to another hosted event besides the actual wedding.  We're having a larger wedding than you are, OP, but it is essentially a DW, since people are all over the place and very few live nearby.  We're having a big BBQ  in a park for everyone the day before.  They're traveling in--some of them on cross-country plane trips--and paying for hotel rooms, and we rarely get to see everyone, so we wanted to invite everyone to another event. 
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  • hlq2011hlq2011
    1000 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Out-of-town guests don't need to be invited.  If you are open to doing a cheaper, pizza-and-beer type of thing and can afford to invite them, then great, I'm sure they'll appreciate it.  But there is absolutely nothing wrong with only inviting those in the wedding and their significant others.
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  • scrabtree134scrabtree134
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    Thanks. I just didn't want to commit a faux pas by just inviting the wedding party & significant others plus immediate family.

    There is plenty for them to do here, since it will be 80 degrees while the rest of the country is covered wth snow!
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