Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...

theholograms · February 2012

Okay fellow CT knotties, I know I recently posted about Deposit a gift and thank you for all of your opinions! I don't think that will be part of our registry. However, I am wondering what people's thoughts are for a honeymoon registry? We would still have a traditional registry such as Macy's.

If you have used one, or are currently using a honeymoon registry site, which are the best?

Thanks

DiLynn83 · February 2012

Sadly, I think HM registries are in the same boat as Deposit a Gift. I didn't realize this until reading TK, and it made me soo sad because even Disney World offers a HM registry lol.

If you're angling for cash (and I don't blame ya there!) it's usually advised to keep a *small* traditional registry, and your guests will get the hint.

theholograms · February 2012

Honestly, I'm not worried about getting money. That really isn't what we are "going for" at our wedding. We just want to have a really nice wedding and show our guests a kickass time. We aren't using credit cards and we aren't taking out crazy loans, so we don't need anything in return. I just know that from all the weddings we've been to (and it has been a lot), the majority of guests give cash/checks. I've never been one to plan out my wedding advance so I don't know too much about registries, it was just an option I heard of that I've been considering.

Ksahlberg · February 2012

I registered at macy's, amazon and honeyfund... I only got stuff from macy's

theholograms · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:e1227fc9-febc-4414-a905-fc9cd0dbc0d2">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]I registered at macy's, amazon and honeyfund... I only got stuff from macy's :)
Posted by Ksahlberg[/QUOTE]

So no one even used amazon or honeyfund? Ummmmm I was thinking of amazon too since I always need a ton of books (I'm sort of a professional student!)

pokey730 · February 2012

Eh, honestly, I think it's tacky. It's like asking people to pay for a sex vacation. Plus I've heard they take a percentage, so you're doing yourself and your guests a favor by not having one. They seem like scams to me, to be honest.

I don't think you have to worry, people will most likely give you money anyways. Honestly, 9 times out of 10 I give cash or a check. Mostly because I'm so absentminded and busy most of the time, I forget about the gift until the day before.

Plan a wedding you can afford, don't ask people for money. I really am not even comfortable asking my family for money for my wedding. Fortunately, my crazy(and extrememly awesome) FMIL keeps sending us money to "reimburse" us for our deposits and installments. Nonetheless, we still plan as if she weren't giving us any. If you have to take a shorter honeymoon, than do it. Don't ask friends and family to open their wallets. You have your whole life to take vacations.

theholograms · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:bf88a32d-930e-4a61-abd3-176213a8d54f">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]Eh, honestly, I think it's tacky. It's like asking people to pay for a sex vacation. Plus I've heard they take a percentage, so you're doing yourself and your guests a favor by not having one. They seem like scams to me, to be honest. I don't think you have to worry, people will most likely give you money anyways. Honestly, 9 times out of 10 I give cash or a check. Mostly because I'm so absentminded and busy most of the time, I forget about the gift until the day before. Plan a wedding you can afford, don't ask people for money. I really am not even comfortable asking my family for money for my wedding. Fortunately, my crazy(and extrememly awesome) FMIL keeps sending us money to "reimburse" us for our deposits and installments. Nonetheless, we still plan as if she weren't giving us any. If you have to take a shorter honeymoon, than do it. Don't ask friends and family to open their wallets. You have your whole life to take vacations.
Posted by pokey730[/QUOTE]

We are definitely only planning the wedding and honeymoon we can afford - I just didn't know if people liked the idea of other options besides the traditional places (which we would still register at).

amymaysa · February 2012

I think of HMR the same as I do the honeyfund, tacky.
It's just another way of asking people for money. In some ways, I see these as a little worse b/c most time guests think they are buying the couple something and in reality the couple gets a check for the amount, which they can spend anywhere.
Most people will give cash/check, just create a small registry at Macys, etc.

pokey730 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:cfdac227-f833-40c5-a81b-ddca86f94489">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts... : We are definitely only planning the wedding and honeymoon we can afford - I just didn't know if people liked the idea of other options besides the traditional places (which we would still register at).
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

Thing is, some people might not care, but I would definitely give it a side eye. If you want cash, just have a small registry at one place. People will get the message.

Whtara10 · February 2012

I registered at myfantasyvacation.honeymoonwishes.com. I also used fantasy vacations as a travel agent but you don't have to. People seem to have really strong opinions on this subject but I didn't care. We also registered at BBB so people would have a gift option. I think that there are people who will want to give you something to open, people who will only give you money and people who will love contributing to your honeymoon. I don't believe it is a "sex vacation". We actually are paying for the honeymoon ourselves and only registered for the excursions. You will still have a registry at macys so putting this on there too won't hurt. No one is forced to use it. And the fees on that site can be paid by you or the buyer and I don't think they are expensive. It's your wedding. Do what makes YOU happy!

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

Honeymoon registries are the same thing as asking for cash, except you're asking for cash to use while you go on a sex fest vacation.

I'd rather not ask anyone to pay for that, personally.

And again, most honeymoon registries will take part of your money. So if your guest gives you $100, you only get $80. It's so much easier to just let your family spread word that you're saving money, and have a small registry.

Amanda1443994 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:1aa90263-e5d8-48ff-bfa6-ef781ad5aab9">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]I registered at myfantasyvacation.honeymoonwishes.com. I also used fantasy vacations as a travel agent but you don't have to. People seem to have really strong opinions on this subject but I didn't care. We also registered at BBB so people would have a gift option. I think that there are people who will want to give you something to open, people who will only give you money and people who will love contributing to your honeymoon. I don't believe it is a "sex vacation". We actually are paying for the honeymoon ourselves and only registered for the excursions. <strong>You will still have a registry at macys so putting this on there too won't hurt. No one is forced to use it.</strong> And the fees on that site can be paid by you or the buyer and I don't think they are expensive. It's your wedding. Do what makes YOU happy!
Posted by Whtara10[/QUOTE]

I second this. Since you're having a traditional registry as well, I don't see a problem with the honeymoon one as another option. If guests don't want to contribute to it they can just choose off of the traditional registry. Those who want to will.

kls114 · February 2012

IMO, I am not a fan but it's your wedding, do what makes you & FI happy.

I do know that alot of those sites that you sign up for take a percentage or certain amount--I would not be a fan of that.

& I must have missed the "Deposit a gift" convo?!?! Not really sure what the is all about.

& huh?? Sexfest? What is that all about?

Whtara10 · February 2012

I have no clue why people keep referring to the honeymoon as a "sex fest". That's not the point of a honeymoon. I don't think my family is going to think that either when they see my registry

Jaridds68 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:aa41ddf9-2e8c-40e2-9092-13a54d09bd2a">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts... : So no one even used amazon or honeyfund? Ummmmm I was thinking of amazon too since I always need a ton of books (I'm sort of a professional student!)
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]

<div>Registries are meant to help the new couple start their life together - it's really inappropriate to buy books or to register for things that are personal like that. Granted when ppl gift cash it's not known what it's being used for, but personal items that are meant for one person (and not the couple) shouldn't be on registries. Just my two cents.</div><div>
</div><div>Also, I think HM registries are tacky, to me it's akin to asking outright for cash. Of course HM places (like Disney) will have options for HM registries - their goal is to make $, not follow etiquette. I would consider registering for a small amount of items, and let that speak for itself (as well as letting it spread word of mouth) that you would like $ instead of physical gifts, and then use that $ towards the honeymoon.</div>

DiLynn83 · February 2012

Honeymoon = sexfest.

At least it should be

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:b8cd2708-a13a-458a-a4b1-1c4da76f30f3">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]I have no clue why people keep referring to the honeymoon as a "sex fest". <strong>That's not the point of a honeymoon</strong>. I don't think my family is going to think that either when they see my registry
Posted by Whtara10[/QUOTE]

<div>Well, it might not be the point <em>today</em>, but for people who stay virgins until marriage, it's certainly one of the points. And I'd bet $5 your parents and grandparents assume you'll spend much of your vacation having sex, as newlyweds are likely to do. </div>

lfreeman24 · February 2012

In my opinion a honeymoon fund is similar to the deposit fund, however I think it is less tacky. Especially if you are registering for excursions, spa treatments etc. to me at least then your guests are giving you a "present" versus giving you cash.

At the end of the day if YOU don't think it is tacky and its what YOU want for your wedding then I say go for it. People always have opinions on everything whether it is where you're registered, or what your dress is like. As long as you and your fiance are happy and comfortable then that's all that matters!

calindi · February 2012

I think the worst part of honeymoon funds is that they are usually deceitful. They say, "Buy the couple a massage on the beach for $150" so your Aunt Mildred buys that, thinking that she's getting you a nice massage. When really you'll get cash, and maybe you don't even use it on a massage. Then when Aunt Mildred says, "How was the massage on your honeymoon?" you either lie and say it was great or hurt her feelings by not using her 'gift'. I think if you literally do everything that everyone 'buys' for you, then it's less tacky. Still, the fact that the registries usually take a percentage makes it a less desireable option than just hoping for cash/checks. If your travel agent will organize it all, and really does book what people pay for, it's less tacky in my opinion.

If you want money for your honeymoon, just register for the items you need/want and leave it at that. Chances are most of the rest will get you cash, though you might end up with a few odd gifts (which isn't necessarily prevented by registering anyway).

akulaji · February 2012

Honeymoon registries are always a heated topic. I think it can really go either way, but it depends on a few things... first, you need to gauge your group. Are your guests ultra traditional or is a honeymoon registry commonplace in your circle? There are people on here that will go to their grave saying that a Jack & Jill party is scamming people for money or that a dollar dance is money grubbing, but there are others that feel it is tradition for their family and friends. Bottom line, you know your group more than anyone else on here does, so you'll have to decide what is appropriate.

DH and I had both a traditional registry and a honeymoon one. We were a bit older than some getting married and had already been living together for years, so we didn't need a toaster or towels. We did the traditional registry for those that wanted to buy us something there, and we did a honeymoon registry for those that wanted to gift us excursions on our honeymoon. We used Traveler's Joy for that. I get people's dislike for honeymoon registries keeping a % of the gift, but with ours it was to cover credit card transaction costs, etc. If someone orders you a gift online they're paying shipping, wrapping, etc, so they're also paying more than what the actual items costs too... not really that different.

We did make sure to abide by the honeymoon gifts that we were given. Yes, Traveler's Joy gave us a lump sum, but we did every excursion that was given to us. We actually took pictures of us doing each thing and sent them in the thank you note to the people that gifted them. They truly were concrete gifts to us, and memories that will last forever... I doubt the pots that were gifted from our registry will stand the test of time nearly as well as the photographs and memories we took away from our honeymoon.

Yes, traditionally gifts are given to start a couple out on their new life together and tradition changes. People live together before getting married and often don't need all that stuff. Bottom line is, whether you have a registry or not, people feel compelled to give you something. With our friends and family, more than anything, they wanted to give us something we wanted and would actually use. People have free will. if they don't want to give toward your honeymoon, they won't! Best to give them options though and let them choose.

theholograms · February 2012

Thanks for all of the opinions.

akulaji the things you mentioned were the very reasons I was considering doing a honeymoon registry in the first place. We've been living together for over 5 years, have a lot of things already, and are in our 30's. While I was still going to do the traditional registry, I thought it would be fun to have somehting else.

akulaji · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:86219b18-3f82-4ab1-9b0d-bdcad378fb88">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]Thanks for all of the opinions. @ akulaji the things you mentioned were the very reasons I was considering doing a honeymoon registry in the first place. We've been living together for over 5 years, have a lot of things already, and are in our 30's. While I was still going to do the traditional registry, I thought it would be fun to have somehting else.
Posted by 27Sunrise[/QUOTE]
DH and I were both 32 when we got married. The boards are great for many things, but there are definitely a few hot topics that spark very blunt opinions. lol! Only you can gauge what your group will think. Maybe ask a few of your friends & family their opinions of a honeymoon registry and go from there? If you think you won't seriously cause chaos by doing one, then I say go for it! Good luck!

FYI, we have quite a few people buy from our honeymoon registry. It was a real hit and many people thought it was a great idea. FWIW.

theholograms · February 2012

akulaji I'm 32 and he is 35 - so I am in a different situation than perhaps some other brides on here. We already own our home and everything so....we have a lot of stuff! Thanks again for the advice and I'll prob ask around to some friends.

HeatherR45 · February 2012

If you're still thinking of doing a HM registry, look into a private travel agent instead of websites like honeyfund. I priced out my honeymoon online before talking with an agent and the prices were pretty much the same, and they take care of everything. Unlike honeyfund, my travel agent is not charging my guests fees to put money towards my honeymoon. Nor is it as deceitful as those websites where you can "pay for a massage on the beach". I registered for a cruise and airfare and that's exactly what the money is going towards, I don't just get the cash that might not even go towards the registry. Honestly, I think traditional registries are just as "greedy" when you ask for gifts (I don't need/want a $300 blender or 6000 thread count sheets), but that's my opinion. If people want to give you a gift; they will, if they don't, then they won't. I would rather have the travel experience than materialistic things. I told my family and some friends about the idea of a HM registry before actually doing it and nobody seemed to have a problem with it. I would just judge your crowd and do what YOU want to do.

MeaghanandMichael · February 2012

If this many people in on subset of the knot think it is tacky, think of how many guests at your wedding might. Really? Is it worth irking people for all the very legitimate above reasons? Like it or not, your wedding speaks about your values as it is a public display of good taste. I wouldn't want to be on the vague end of good taste, but I guess that is just me ::shrugs::

tanyamary627 · February 2012

If they don't want to buy you something off your HM registry, then they don't have to! You aren't forcing them to so I don't understand why it would offend them. If they would rather get you a gift off of your traditional registry at Macy's or wherever you choose to register, then they have that option. I don't agree that a HM registry is asking people to pay for your "sexfest" as some PPs referred to it as. If you already have a home and aren't in need of a large number of homegoods, then a HM registry seems like a nice option to allow guests to give you something useful and maybe more personal than a check.

theholograms · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:538a710f-322b-479b-b4f2-1af8075464cb">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]If they don't want to buy you something off your HM registry, then they don't have to! You aren't forcing them to so I don't understand why it would offend them. If they would rather get you a gift off of your traditional registry at Macy's or wherever you choose to register, then they have that option. I don't agree that a HM registry is asking people to pay for your "sexfest" as some PPs referred to it as. If you already have a home and aren't in need of a large number of homegoods, then a HM registry seems like a nice option to allow guests to give you something useful and maybe more personal than a check.
Posted by tanyamary627[/QUOTE]

<div>Exactly....I don't care if people give us nothing! I just know that I have to have a traditional registry for my shower (which I don't even want to have, my mom and sister are making me have one, so it will very small). I just know our friends, and tthe standard gift is not from the registry but usually a check. I did think it would just be something fun since everyone knows we kind of have a lot of home stuff. People could buy off the registry, they could give to the HM registry or give a check - I don't think it forces people to do anything. Ahhhhhh we will see!</div>

akulaji · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:538a710f-322b-479b-b4f2-1af8075464cb">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]If they don't want to buy you something off your HM registry, then they don't have to! You aren't forcing them to so I don't understand why it would offend them. If they would rather get you a gift off of your traditional registry at Macy's or wherever you choose to register, then they have that option. I don't agree that a HM registry is asking people to pay for your "sexfest" as some PPs referred to it as. If you already have a home and aren't in need of a large number of homegoods, then a HM registry seems like a nice option to allow guests to give you something useful and maybe more personal than a check.
Posted by tanyamary627[/QUOTE]
I agree. :-)

And for those that think it's against tradition or etiquette, I'd like to know how many of those people were actually virgins and didn't ever share a bed or live with their husband before they got married. I'm sure there are some, but the number is far less than what it would have been 30 years ago.... yet that seems to be acceptable, but a freaking registry isn't! Like I said... traditions and etiquette changes. Go with your gut!

Whtara10 · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:31b9aaf8-42ee-41f1-88ba-4317f615fd63">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts... : I agree. :-) And for those that think it's against tradition or etiquette, I'd like to know how many of those people were actually virgins and didn't ever share a bed or live with their husband before they got married. I'm sure there are some, but the number is far less than what it would have been 30 years ago.... yet that seems to be acceptable, but a freaking registry isn't! Like I said... traditions and etiquette changes. Go with your gut!
Posted by akulaji[/QUOTE]

Couldn't have said it better myself. Since me and FI have been together for 3 years, live together and have a child I don't think my family is going to think we are going on our "sex fest". That's why we registered for excursions. Otherwise we would have just said hey can you pay for our suite since we don't plan on leaving it lol. Absolutely ridiculous.

I hope some of these posts helped. As you can see this is a very heated topic. And I'm done with it now. People's opinions are way too strong on this subject. Good luck!

MoonlightSilver · February 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:538a710f-322b-479b-b4f2-1af8075464cb">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]If they don't want to buy you something off your HM registry, then they don't have to! You aren't forcing them to so I don't understand why it would offend them. If they would rather get you a gift off of your traditional registry at Macy's or wherever you choose to register, then they have that option. I don't agree that a HM registry is asking people to pay for your "sexfest" as some PPs referred to it as. If you already have a home and aren't in need of a large number of homegoods, then a HM registry seems like a nice option <strong>to allow guests to give you something useful and maybe more personal than a check.</strong>
Posted by tanyamary627[/QUOTE]

<div>Except.... they are giving you a check, for 99% of the honeymoon registries out there. </div><div>
</div><div>It just seems so deceitful to me. </div><div>
</div><div>Edit: And I say this as someone who has been living with her FI for 4 years already, and doesn't need any more traditional registry stuff. </div>

Karebear852k3 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_connecticut_honeymoon-registry-thoughts?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:65Discussion:e53dc7b2-001b-4e59-b7dd-3a06965b7d57Post:eefe1bb4-6db2-4d9c-b46f-d8726968fb9b">Re: Honeymoon Registry Thoughts...</a>:
[QUOTE]Honeymoon registries are always a heated topic. I think it can really go either way, but it depends on a few things... first, you need to gauge your group. Are your guests ultra traditional or is a honeymoon registry commonplace in your circle? There are people on here that will go to their grave saying that a Jack & Jill party is scamming people for money or that a dollar dance is money grubbing, but there are others that feel it is tradition for their family and friends. Bottom line, you know your group more than anyone else on here does, so you'll have to decide what is appropriate. DH and I had both a traditional registry and a honeymoon one. We were a bit older than some getting married and <strong>had already been living together for years, so we didn't need a toaster or towels. We did the traditional registry for those that wanted to buy us something there, and we did a honeymoon registry for those that wanted to gift us excursions on our honeymoon.</strong> We used Traveler's Joy for that. <strong> I get people's dislike for honeymoon registries</strong> keeping a % of the gift, but with ours it was to cover credit card transaction costs, etc. If someone orders you a gift online they're paying shipping, wrapping, etc, so they're also paying more than what the actual items costs too... not really that different.<strong> We did make sure to abide by the honeymoon gifts that we were given.</strong> Yes, Traveler's Joy <strong>gave us a lump sum, but we did every excursion that was given to us. We actually took pictures of us doing each thing and sent them in the thank you note to the people that gifted them. They truly were concrete gifts to us, and memories that will last forever..</strong>. I doubt the pots that were gifted from our registry will stand the test of time nearly as well as the photographs and memories we took away from our honeymoon. <strong>Yes, traditionally gifts are given to start a couple out on their new life together</strong> and tradition changes. People live together before getting married and often don't need all that stuff. Bottom line is, whether you have a registry or not, people feel compelled to give you something. With our friends and family, more than anything, they wanted to give us something we wanted and would actually use. <strong>People have free will. if they don't want to give toward your honeymoon, they won't! Best to give them options though and let them choose.</strong>
Posted by akulaji[/QUOTE]

Ditto this to a T.

We also did a honeymoon registry because even before we were married we had been together for 10 years and living together for many of them. We didn't need towels or sheets, etc. and we knew that we would enjoy a truly memorable honeymoon more than any tangible gift anyone could give us. We purposely had a small wedding and toned everything down as much as we could because having a honeymoon (going away somewhere exotic and romantic etc. together) mattered more to us than a blowout wedding. It was our money that paid for the wedding, and that was what we wanted. As far as the "it's supposed to be a gift for starting your new life together" argument, travel is the type of life we want to have together - we want to go places and see the world, so why not start our marriage off right by going on a proper honeymoon to set that precedent.

We did the HM registry, but we also did a small registry or 2 (by small, I mean like 20-30 gifts tops) so that guests coming to the shower would not have to feel awkward seeing me open envelopes of cash and so that anyone who was opposed to the HM registry would have the option not to use it.

We did get some backlash from the "traditionalists" attending the wedding (DH's grandmother), but once it was explained that this is kind of something people are doing nowadays as younger couples who have lived together for a while, she understood and apologized.

With what we did get from the HM registry, we followed it to the letter and went on the excursions that were bought for us, even though the registry did just depost the money into my account through PayPal. We took pictures at the excursions and included them in the thank you cards to those who bought them for us. Like akulaji said, for us, they were real gifts and those that we truly treasured, and not that we don't love the tangible shower gifts I got, but we'll remember snorkeling/SNUBA in the Carribean more than the mixing bowls and the memories will stand the test of time as we tell our friends and family about our honeymoon.

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