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Why is this so hard?

ToesInTheSandToesInTheSand member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Wedding Invitations & Paper
So I've lurked for a while, but I'm coming out and diving in. I'm recently engaged, and we're getting the ball rolling. I'm having some serious stress over this wedding already. I think the fact that I myself am a wedding photographer has added wayyyy too much pressure. 

So here's my question:

My parents are divorced, dad is remarried (has been since I was 13) and I lived with my dad/stepmom from high school on. My mom and I are not that close, but I am close with my stepmom. 

My dad is contributing about 50% of our wedding budget, and realistically will probably end up paying more than that. We are picking up the rest of the tab ourselves. Dad's giving us a sizable chunk to spend however we wish, and does not require any input from himself or my stepmom. I highly doubt my mom will contribute anything.

Is it terribly horrible of me to word the invitations as:

Mr. & Mrs. Bride's Dad/Stepmom
request the pleasure of your company.....

Not listing mom? I feel like my dad/stepmom are the ones contributing the most financially and are the ones technically hosting the wedding. How do I avoid the sh*t storm that is going to happen when my mom is left off the invitation? 
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Re: Why is this so hard?

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    cebrady89cebrady89 member
    First Comment
    You're absolutely right to do that. Being named on an invitation is not an honor, it indicates who the host of the wedding is.

    The invitations are not supposed to actually list parents as an honor - the reason parents are ever listed on invitations is to indicate that they are hosting. So saying "Mr. and Mrs. Bride's Dad" is perfect since they are the hosts. I would actually advise against listing your mom on the invite unless she contributes to the wedding.

    If you want to avoid any of these issues, you could say "Together with their families
    Bride
    &
    Groom
    ..."
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    AurorasEnvyAurorasEnvy
    First Comment
    cebrady is correct, but in real life somehow I can't see your mother appreciating not only that she is not on the invite, but that your stepmother is.  Somehow I also don't see her accepting "well, it's etiquette!" as a reasonable excuse.  Depending on how you think your mother might react, I might just go with "together with their families" and make sure to thank dad/stepmom during speeches or something at the wedding.
    photo trex2_zps7ab4e9b0.jpg
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
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    OBX2011OBX2011 member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_invites-paper_this-hard?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:cd062f89-8272-496a-b0ab-225e1f87acecDiscussion:837dec98-9ed9-45d3-93e2-12801efcb06bPost:9b4510ff-e9c5-4784-aa79-5699330a8787">Why is this so hard?</a>:
    [QUOTE]So I've lurked for a while, but I'm coming out and diving in. I'm recently engaged, and we're getting the ball rolling. I'm having some serious stress over this wedding already. I think the fact that I myself am a wedding photographer has added wayyyy too much pressure.  So here's my question: My parents are divorced, dad is remarried (has been since I was 13) and I lived with my dad/stepmom from high school on. My mom and I are not that close, but I am close with my stepmom.  My dad is contributing about 50% of our wedding budget, and realistically will probably end up paying more than that. We are picking up the rest of the tab ourselves. Dad's giving us a sizable chunk to spend however we wish, and does not require any input from himself or my stepmom. I highly doubt my mom will contribute anything. Is it terribly horrible of me to word the invitations as: Mr. & Mrs. Bride's Dad/Stepmom request the pleasure of your company..... Not listing mom? I feel like my dad/stepmom are the ones contributing the most financially and are the ones technically hosting the wedding. How do I avoid the sh*t storm that is going to happen when my mom is left off the invitation? 
    Posted by OBXphotography[/QUOTE]

    Hello!  I just wanted to reach out and say hello to a fellow OBX'er :)

    Are you getting married in OBX?  Feel free to come over to the North Carolina--Outer Banks board anytime.  You may be able to help out some of our fellow brides with info about the island.

    Ohhhhh and to avoid a shivt storm, I would put "Together with Their Parents"  I too have a similar situation and that is how we chose to word it and it kept everyone happy :)

     

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    Starfish0116Starfish0116 member
    First Comment
    OBX...you have a PM :)
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