No support please help!!

ruffjewel · October 2012

Hey Ladies.

I really need some help and honesty here. I knnow yall will keep it real

so Im four months to my big day March 15,2013 and started planning last January. I thought I was giving myself family and friends pleanty of time to prepare right?? Wrong, after 9 months of planning only 2 of my 6 bms have helped me plan.Not 1 gm has been to the house. Me and my FI paid for the ceremony and the venue after other family agreed to pay for other things as gifts to us such as pics and invitations, they didn't keep the agreement. SO Im 4 months out 160days to go with no support from family and friends ,vendor payments still due, and I feel like the walls are crashing down on me. I hate to say it yall but these black folks make me want to say the hell with it cause black folks can't plan nothing. They don;t want to help with nothing but show up on wedding day.

Help me yall I ready to CANCEL everything

fancywright2 · October 2012

Deep breath! Woo-ash! You still have 5 months left, so plenty of time. You can do invitations pretty inexpensively through vistaprint. I think there's a groupon floating around $17 for $70 worth of products. Also check schools in the area or Craigslist for photographers that are starting out and are trying to build their portfolio. What else is on your to do list?

ruffjewel · October 2012

Woo-ash, thanks I need that,lol

So I still need a preacher, decorations, a DJ, my dress, and his tux. his aunt paid the deposit on a decorator and videographer and then left us with the remaining bill but it supposed to be a gift. One of my BM's did the samething with the invitations@ a printing company

Thanks again girl

msbdumas · October 2012

What color scheme are you going with ? What type of decor do you have in mind ? Why dont you have a dress yet ? If nothing else you should be heading to the bridal shop NOW to get your dress. Check the classified board..brides have dresses for sale all the time. FI should be getting his tux by next month or Dec. at the latest. Have your BMs been looking at dresses. They should be also getting their dresses now too. Do you want flowers ? What kind ? Are you a DIY bride ?

keyaira04 · October 2012

Sorry this is happening. Like pp said, I posted a VP group on for Indianapolis. So you can get some cheap invites. Maybe buy two ( one from differ accounts). Remember you only need one per household, in most cases. Next would be your attire. I went to David bridal, tried on dresses and found want I liked. then went on online to find someone to buy it from for cheaper. You still have time for that or to buy off rack and start altering, if needed. Then start going over your contracts and budgeting out everything. This is because you said deposits were made and payments are due. By doing this, you can plan for the officant and dj services. this might help you feel less stressed and in control of what's going on. And finalize your guest list

TL25 · October 2012

You're not the first or last to be going through this. First things first, stop depending on people, I know you had it in ya mind and was really looking forward to their help, but just put it in ya mind that they're not helping. I was in the same boat so I decided to push my date back so that I can afford my wedding myself without depending on others. I don't involve anyone in my planning process, which is something you may want to consider. This is said time and time again on here, "no one will be as excited as you are about planning because it isn't their wedding." I do feel like you still have time though, things will work itself out there are resources you just need to do some research. I wish you nothing but the best

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:f8faf620-2a2d-4b5a-a686-c17deaa0ee44">Re:No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]What color scheme are you going with ? What type of decor do you have in mind ? Why dont you have a dress yet ? If nothing else you should be heading to the bridal shop NOW to get your dress. Check the classified board..brides have dresses for sale all the time. FI should be getting his tux by next month or Dec. at the latest. Have your BMs been looking at dresses. They should be also getting their dresses now too. Do you want flowers ? What kind ? Are you a DIY bride ?
Posted by msbdumas[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>My color scheme is purple, sliver and black. The decor is based on black history and all the famous couples thru the years. I was putting off my dress money to pay for other things but I know I shold have been had one. My BM's try one one dress but no fittings or orders were made. Yes Im a DIY bride

</div>

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:ac2c5b0e-0cc4-421b-a0e6-b2cefd45e8c3">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Sorry this is happening. Like pp said, I posted a VP group on for Indianapolis. So you can get some cheap invites. Maybe buy two ( one from differ accounts). Remember you only need one per household, in most cases. Next would be your attire. I went to David bridal, tried on dresses and found want I liked. then went on online to find someone to buy it from for cheaper. You still have time for that or to buy off rack and start altering, if needed. Then start going over your contracts and budgeting out everything. This is because you said deposits were made and payments are due. By doing this, you can plan for the officant and dj services. this might help you feel less stressed and in control of what's going on. And finalize your guest list ;)
Posted by keyaira04[/QUOTE]<div>I just finalized my list today, Im searching the internet now for my dress need something under 300, where do u find a officant when I don't belong to a certin church?</div><div>Thanks so much

</div>

nursing2u · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:c17d7e7a-fedf-40ed-8e9d-2e2ffd2d5089">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : I just finalized my list today, Im searching the internet now for my dress need something under 300, where do u find a officant when I don't belong to a certin church? Thanks so much
Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]

What type of dress are you looking for? What size?

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:7c850f58-8e1c-4647-9daf-3679b9c6221c">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're not the first or last to be going through this. First things first, stop depending on people, I know you had it in ya mind and was really looking forward to their help, but just put it in ya mind that they're not helping. I was in the same boat so I decided to push my date back so that I can afford my wedding myself without depending on others. I don't involve anyone in my planning process, which is something you may want to consider. This is said time and time again on here, "no one will be as excited as you are about planning because it isn't their wedding." I do feel like you still have time though, things will work itself out there are resources you just need to do some research. I wish you nothing but the best :)
Posted by TL25[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Girl ur so right , I believe that planning would be good times all the way up to the wedding.. But I understand what ur saying Im the only one planning so just get through it the best I can. Thank u so much that was the reality I needed to hear.

</div>

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:e383c7bf-8c41-4a49-ad67-d18f6e89e734">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : What type of dress are you looking for? What size?
Posted by nursing2u[/QUOTE]<div>I like the mermaid or A-line style with some detail, Im short so nothing too huge at the bottom size 14-16

</div>

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:7c850f58-8e1c-4647-9daf-3679b9c6221c">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]You're not the first or last to be going through this. First things first, stop depending on people, I know you had it in ya mind and was really looking forward to their help, but just put it in ya mind that they're not helping. I was in the same boat so I decided to push my date back so that I can afford my wedding myself without depending on others. I don't involve anyone in my planning process, which is something you may want to consider. This is said time and time again on here, "no one will be as excited as you are about planning because it isn't their wedding." I do feel like you still have time though, things will work itself out there are resources you just need to do some research. I wish you nothing but the best :)
Posted by TL25[/QUOTE]

<div>Any ideas on whats the best place to reserach? I see ur from Jersey so is my FI yall r good at the reality thing :) thanks again</div>

keyaira04 · October 2012

Girl, it took me a while to find an officiant, just booked him last Sunday. I searched on here via local board, googled, tried wedding wire and other websites for listings, and asked if the church I am using Pastor was willing. No luck. My pot of goal was looking in my back yard. Our gm and ephotog had his friend marry him, so I asked if he would inquire with his friend for us. The friend is now our officiant! Go to friends who were married in the same area and ask to be connected to their officant. Maybe you have a minister in the family? Not sure the law in GA/ ATL, but maybe pay a friend to be ordinary in online. Lastly try to find someone for premarital counseling, which may turn into 2 for one where this person can also do the wedding. You could also post this question to the FB AAW ladies... For the dress, try http://www.recycledbride.com/ or wait for the next DB $99 sale. Not sure when it is, tho. You can also look on TK classifieds or on the WB.

msbdumas · October 2012

I like the theme..so are you going to use the couples names for your table number like for table 1 it would be The Obamas...The Kings...The Xs..and so on I think that would be nice. Have you thought about using silk flowers for bouqets and bouts ? Are you doing favors ? Anything we can help you find for a deal. Just let us know we are some googling queens lol Im sure everything will work itself out and we are if we can help with anything !

kcc76 · October 2012

Keep your head up you can make this work in 5 months. If finances are too tight just push it back some. So now find your dress. Go to Davids Bridal and try on some dresses and make sure the styles you stated look good on you and take it from there. Good luck!

nursing2u · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:bd02b0dc-287c-4eb0-a401-acc52915ffbd">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : I like the mermaid or A-line style with some detail, Im short so nothing too huge at the bottom size 14-16
Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]

I am going to send you a PM.. hopefully this will help!!!

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:993a94f8-7cc1-4752-920c-a0c6a474c47f">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]Girl, it took me a while to find an officiant, just booked him last Sunday. I searched on here via local board, googled, tried wedding wire and other websites for listings, and asked if the church I am using Pastor was willing. No luck. My pot of goal was looking in my back yard. Our gm and ephotog had his friend marry him, so I asked if he would inquire with his friend for us. The friend is now our officiant! Go to friends who were married in the same area and ask to be connected to their officant. Maybe you have a minister in the family? Not sure the law in GA/ ATL, but maybe pay a friend to be ordinary in online. Lastly try to find someone for premarital counseling, which may turn into 2 for one where this person can also do the wedding. You could also post this question to the FB AAW ladies... For the dress, try <a href="http://www.recycledbride.com/" rel="nofollow">http://www.recycledbride.com/</a> or wait for the next DB $99 sale. Not sure when it is, tho. You can also look on TK classifieds or on the WB.
Posted by keyaira04[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Ok girl thanks, so I just go to TK classifieds.com?

</div>

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:fbe8f635-b26a-4460-8b5e-d3fbeed06a1a">Re:No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]I like the theme..so are you going to use the couples names for your table number like for table 1 it would be The Obamas...The Kings...The Xs..and so on I think that would be nice. Have you thought about using silk flowers for bouqets and bouts ? Are you doing favors ? Anything we can help you find for a deal. Just let us know we are some googling queens lol Im sure everything will work itself out and we are if we can help with anything !
Posted by msbdumas[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>Yea something like that, the escrow card will have a picture of the Obamas and ur names and the table u sit at will have that same picture as a centerpiece. I was going to buy a box of bulk flowers from sam's to make my boquets and slik flowers to decorate the ceremony space

</div>

ruffjewel · October 2012

Thank u ladies so much, I was showing yall post to my FI and telling Wow look at all the support from these,thank yall, yall just saved my wedding

TL25 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:b7af6999-6740-4b66-bf79-5f3ecb6a489a">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : Any ideas on whats the best place to reserach? I see ur from Jersey so is my FI yall r good at the reality thing :) thanks again
Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]
Woop woop Jersey in the house! Where's he from?
Girl I got ya back when I say been there, done that I wasn't joking lol. Start with ya dress and then we'll go from there.

<strong>Dresses</strong>
preownedweddingdresses.com
recycledbride.com
wedding classifieds on TK is under Boards By Topic in the third column, fourth from the bottom

nursing2u · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:3047076f-ece3-4aba-b873-328ee94da3cc">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : Ok girl thanks, so I just go to TK classifieds.com?
Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]

{{{{{{{{{{Did you check your private message}}}}}}

msbdumas · October 2012

In Response to Re:No support please help!!:[QUOTE]In Response to Re:No support please help!!:I like the theme..so are you going to use the couples names for your table number like for table 1 it would be The Obamas...The Kings...The Xs..and so on I think that would be nice. Have you thought about using silk flowers for bouqets and bouts ? Are you doing favors ? Anything we can help you find for a deal. Just let us know we are some googling queens lol Im sure everything will work itself out and we are if we can help with anything !Posted by msbdumasYea something like that, the escrow card will have a picture of the Obamas and ur names and the table u sit at will have that same picture as a centerpiece. I was going to buy a box of bulk flowers from sam's to make my boquets and slik flowers to decorate the ceremony space Posted by ruffjewel[/QUOTE]

I love that idea...get some frames from dollar tree..spray paint the frames or bling them out..will be really pretty. Check for Michaels coupons or hobby lobby if theres one in your area for floral stuff
Also try sites like etsy or save on crafts.com.

I have a good feeling

keyaira04 · October 2012

TL25 answered about the TK classified. bTW, micheals has a 50% off regular item coupon today and tomorrow. Also my fav thrift stores are having half off sales tomorrow due to the holiday, I'm sure others are doing it too. Check them out for some idea.

20pearls16 · October 2012

You will be fine. Just take a deep breath, pray and BE ORGANIZED. I got engaged in March and got married in August 5 months later. Everything fell into place beautifully. I also did it all on my own. I didn' have any BM's or GM's. M kids were in the wedding which means I had to do all of their stuff too! As long as you and your FI are married by the end of w=your wedding day you will be fine. You can do it!

MissusD1116 · October 2012

First off, bless your heart! The Lord will make a way..my sissys have given some great advice. On the AAW Facebook page Cat posted a link to FREE wedding invites....on wedding bee i think? somebody post it for her please. Second, from this point on, don't count on money or gift funds from others until they actually give you the cash in hand or else it will break your heart. Also, WELCOME! We are here to help in any way....there are some prayer warriors here girl! LOL!

nursing2u · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:9b7dbd32-25bb-4ce7-a399-d1e92f80c975">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]First off, bless your heart! The Lord will make a way..<strong>my sissys have given some great advice.</strong> On the AAW Facebook page Cat posted a link to FREE wedding invites....on wedding bee i think? somebody post it for her please. Second, from this point on, don't count on money or gift funds from others until they actually give you the cash in hand or else it will break your heart. Also, WELCOME! We are here to help in any way....there are some prayer warriors here girl! LOL!
Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

Girl... you know we try to help each other.... WHICH IS A BLESSING in itself!!!

keyaira04 · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural Wedding BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:9b7dbd32-25bb-4ce7-a399-d1e92f80c975">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]First off, bless your heart! The Lord will make a way..my sissys have given some great advice. On the AAW Facebook page Cat posted a link to FREE wedding invites....on wedding bee i think? somebody post it for her please. !
Posted by MissusD1116[/QUOTE]

It was wedding chicks.com. They have templates that are great!

MrsSmith2Be02 · October 2012

OK so I'm just seeing this. Whoo sah! I thought the same thing and especially since I'm an only child.....girl nope! NOW...4 weeks before the wedding family is starting to get excited. My mom found her gown last night.....and its is FIYA!

I'm in Atlanta so I can help with anything and I'm a wedding planner too so I just love everything weddings. LOL. Send me a PM if you need some help. I know officiants in the area and can give you some ideas on how to cut costs in certain areas. You'll be fine. Trust me.

ruffjewel · October 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/cultural-wedding-boards_african-american-weddings_no-support-please-help?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Cultural%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:400Discussion:2ec3e779-8060-4f04-84dd-f8893659a659Post:ad89813e-9dab-4327-9017-a3139b67ed76">Re: No support please help!!</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: No support please help!! : Woop woop Jersey in the house! Where's he from? Girl I got ya back when I say been there, done that I wasn't joking lol. Start with ya dress and then we'll go from there. Dresses preownedweddingdresses.com recycledbride.com wedding classifieds on TK is under Boards By Topic in the third column, fourth from the bottom
Posted by TL25[/QUOTE]

<div>He's from trenton, Ive been to preowed site but im gonna try this recycledbride</div>

No support please help!!

Re: No support please help!!

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