Huge invitation rant

ninamyspace · August 2012

If you don't reply to an RSVP (that already has a stamp on it AND an address) then you DONT have a seat in the wedding. You can't just show up unexpected. Have a hard time putting the envelope in the mailbox? Just go to the link on the invitation and rsvp online!

You also cannot bring your distant cousin, and her boyfriend as well. If the invitation is addressed to you and a spouse or a date, you bring one, not your whole freaking family, and if you think it's the polite thing to do, AT LEAST RSVP to the damn wedding.

It's not a bar or a huge social event, It's a formal wedding, you can't just bring whoever you please and their grandma.We are paying per head, not just for space, geez people.

Rant over.

ninamyspace · August 2012

Just thought some people could relate.

And yes, I checked, some people just assume if they got an invitation they don't have to send an RSVP back to you.

achiduck · August 2012

Yup, this is one of the more annoying parts of being a bride.

Avion22 · August 2012

Yeah, we had someone who didn't RVSP on time so we called him and he gave us a verbal "no.". Then two days before the wedding he sent back the RSVP card with "will attend"!!!!! It was okay in the end because we had a last minute cancelation that same day, so we just sat him in that chair....but seriously people!!!! Definitely call...we also had some people whose rsvps were lost in the mail, or who thought their spouse mailed it (ie: it was still in the glove compartment of the car because the husband forgot or whatever, even though the wife thought it was sent back).

ninamyspace · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_huge-invitation-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d1d308c4-c155-44c9-b0de-9b53b04ab931Post:53b49853-4fc7-4ba7-8ebf-4ae6e74ae701">Re: Huge invitation rant</a>:
[QUOTE]You *are* calling these people who didn't send their RSVP back right? To see if they are coming or not?
Posted by edielaura[/QUOTE]

<div>Yeah, I guess this is why I got so annoyed.</div><div>
</div><div>I emailed someone about it, 18 days till the wedding, they basically say "yeah, we're coming and our so and so is coming to". </div><div>
</div><div>Oh okay, thanks for letting me know, and thanks for asking me if they could come (I would have said yes anyway, but still). <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-undecided.gif" border="0" alt="Undecided" title="Undecided" /></div>

libby2483 · August 2012

This has been one of the most frustrating parts of the wedding planning process for me, too. Just make sure you call to follow up with those who did not RSVP, even if you think they aren't coming. For our wedding, of those people who didn't RSVP by the deadline, over half said they were coming and just forgot to send the card back when we called. So don't automatically count them out because it would be quite a disaster if several people showed up unexpectedly for your wedding and they had no food or seats.

ninamyspace · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_huge-invitation-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:d1d308c4-c155-44c9-b0de-9b53b04ab931Post:8c64381c-8ed6-42ee-a01c-c7ed036257c2">Re: Huge invitation rant</a>:
[QUOTE]When were your RSVPs due?
Posted by ILoveMilkDuds[/QUOTE]

<div>They were due around July 13th..</div>

ninamyspace · August 2012

I just went by theknot.com timeline and send them out 2-3 months in advance prior to the wedding. No one pays attention to the deadline on those things anyway. I had plenty of people RSVP after that date.

Plus it is a destination wedding so therefore they needed more time for planning.

Avion22 · August 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_huge-invitation-rant?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:d1d308c4-c155-44c9-b0de-9b53b04ab931Post:31c9424b-9a05-4567-a120-99eec927619d">Re: Huge invitation rant</a>:
[QUOTE]I just went by theknot.com timeline and send them out 2-3 months in advance prior to the wedding. No one pays attention to the deadline on those things anyway. I had plenty of people RSVP after that date. Plus it is a destination wedding so therefore they needed more time for planning.
Posted by ninamyspace[/QUOTE]

Thats because RSVPs are usually due maybe 2-3 weeks before the wedding...just long enough for you to give final numbers to your caterer and make a seating plan, which usually happen about a week or two out. I'm sure people saw an August 25th wedding and figured they had until at least..well...NOW to put them in the mail.

ninamyspace · August 2012

I sure hope so.

All my numbers are due next week to the caterer.

twotimemob · August 2012

We had some laggers for my daughter's wedding. Her FI called them (they were his co-workers) and they kept saying "I don't know yet", so a couple of days later, he'd ask again. And ask again. And ask again. Finally they all said Yes, they'll come. Well guess who were no-shows. About 5 couples worth. Yup, rant.

ninamyspace · August 2012

I'm really hoping that in the end it will even out, will it?

annie912 · August 2012

Our wedding is August 25th too

and our RSVP date is August 15. I think given how early yours was, that is probably the reason you had such a tough time getting people to respond by the deadline. Ours a pretty small, casual affair, so that gives me a little more leeway as to when I have to have a "final" number, but part of me is getting impatient waiting for the rest of the them to come back. I'm just impatient in general for the wedding to be here, so that's probably part of it too.

Good luck tracking down the rest of the stragglers!

lyndausvi · August 2012

We had FIVE (5) Invitations returned to us after RSVPs were due.

We had THREE (3) RSVPs delivered the week of our wedding with a postmark of 6 weeks prior.

We had TWO (2) RSVPs that where delivered to a neighbors. Who, of course, was OOT at the time.

Sure some people won't RSVP, sometimes outside influences are to blame. Call them.

Oh and an RSVP 6 weeks out doesn't help.

funandfreckles · August 2012

If you have people who haven't RSVP'd after the deadline, it's perfectly acceptable to phone them and find out if they plan on coming. I would sincerely hope you are planning on doing this.

kmmssg · August 2012

You are kinder than I. I'm a 3 time MOB and the RSVP's come to me. This is my absolute pet peeve - adding people or not being able to put that stamped little card in the mailbox. You don't even want to be adding people because kmmssg WILL be calling your rude little self and letting you know that I am not paying for your extra guests. Oh...if only i could have put it that way.

I pity the guests for #4's wedding because I have this down to a science. Guess since she isn't serously seeing someone right now I don't have to sweat it just yet.

However...she just started going out with a guy she graduated HS with in 2000. That was be so awesome if he might, just maybe, be the potential one, but Mama doesn't even go there.

Cortney1982 · August 2012

I had three people whom I sent RSVP's in the invitation and put a stamp on them to make it easy. When I asked them personally, they each said they didn't know you were suppose to send the RSVP cards back if you were not going! Ugh, I wouldn't have wasted the stamp if it was optional.

[Deleted User] · August 2012

I think your rsvp date was fine. My wedding date is the same as yours. Our final count & seating chart is due tomorrow. I have 3 children, a full-time job & a life, so there is no way I was going to be able to have an rsvp date in early August. That is not enough time to do everything.

I hope everything works out!!

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