So I know its kinda silly but....

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

I find myself getting really offended with every decline we are receiving from the wedding. It seems all of FI's extended family and many of my dad's relatives are not coming to the wedding, and I can't help but take it personally and feel hurt and offended.

em01092 · March 2012

You're not alone. I felt the same way about all of FI's "in town" (2 hours away) family declining to come to our (only) shower. They have to finish fixing up their home that day. I mean, I get that that's important, but really? Is that the only day they can work on it? Maybe it is...idk. Ugh.

It just makes me feel like FMIL cares more about how she looks in this whole thing than the fact that her son and I are starting a family. We don't care about the gifts, just them being there.

So yeah, I know how you feel. I think the economy is making it hard for people to travel and take time off work. We picked a bad time to get married. =(

FutureMrsWright2012 · March 2012

First, Em... love the new siggy pic

Second, I feel the same as both of you about feeling offended with declined RSVP's (especially my father not coming because he can't get one f-ing day off of work to come)... But, I just breathe deeply and remember that each person who decides that our wedding is not a priority for them actually saves us about $75 a pop... More honeymoon spending money, plus it'll be that much easier to "work the room" to thank everyone who did make the time and effort to be there to support us.

I obviously recognize that there are people who we invited who can't come because of money or other obligations, and I'm absolutely understanding of that. I think my immediate family not coming are really the only one's that irk me.

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

Part of my anger is, I sent out save the dates last sept. Figured giving everyone a heads up....some people told me right away it could be an issue....no prob with them declining, but so many people told me there were coming, and now all of a sudden, they aren't.

One in particular is my little sister in my sorority who says she can't get off work because she is going to Europe 2 weeks later.....I'm happy for her that she is getting to travel but really? You've know about this for months...she came to my shower in jan.....now she isn't coming....

and the worst part is I HAVE to pay for a minimum number of guests so every no is actually just waited money if they told me they were coming before and have now changed thier mind, because we didn't invite many above that minimum number to save money. At this point, I'm losing $2000 on them and I'm still waiting for 60 people. UGH

kmac821 · March 2012

Ugh me too!! We invited 151 and 2 weeks ago we were on track to have 130 people show up based on how people were responding...

well now we have 102 showing up and are only waiting on 8! And even the Reverend (who is a family friend!) isn't staying for the reception!!! Good news is this is saving us money, bad news is I ordered 132 favors which I'll try to sell on TK after I guess, and I just feel sad like maybe people don't like us as much as I thought. Also to me this is like the event of a lifetime and I wish other people felt the same way (so selfish, I know).

I can already tell I'm going to be going through MAJOR wedding withdrawal. oy oy oy

em01092 · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_so-i-know-its-kinda-silly-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:d8491865-c361-485d-ab59-c741a6099e87Post:3566226c-a727-4a8f-af52-a460d72262cb">Re: So I know its kinda silly but....</a>:
[QUOTE]<strong>First, Em... love the new siggy pic ;)</strong> Second, I feel the same as both of you about feeling offended with declined RSVP's (especially my father not coming because he can't get one f-ing day off of work to come)... But, I just breathe deeply and remember that each person who decides that our wedding is not a priority for them actually saves us about $75 a pop... More honeymoon spending money, plus it'll be that much easier to "work the room" to thank everyone who did make the time and effort to be there to support us. I obviously recognize that there are people who we invited who can't come because of money or other obligations, and I'm absolutely understanding of that. I think my immediate family not coming are really the only one's that irk me.
Posted by FutureMrsWright2012[/QUOTE]

<div>Teee heee. I'm so glad you like it. =D</div><div>
</div><div>Yes, you're right! Everyone who will be there will have a fantastic time, and those who can't be there are missing out! </div>

cgyvhu · March 2012

Yeah, I felt this way at first too. And I was concerned our wedding would be "too" small. But I am happy to save the money, and feel like everyone has their reasons. It's their loss - you'll always remember the friends and family who did come and had and awesome time with you, and it sucks for these people that they miss out on that memory.

erikani · March 2012

I'm right there with all of you but from my experience, comes with the territory of having a destination wedding too. We did pay a minimum, ideal if we get 50 ppl so it does irk me that many are not coming. What really is even more bothersome is the NUMEROUS people who cannot even return the reply card that I attached postage too. I made it convenient. Grrr

meganb1977 · March 2012

I know it's disappointing, but probably not as personal as you might think. People have busy lives. My one boss isn't coming because his daughter is making her first communion...I was disappointed but I know it wasn't personal. Even in the case of my uncle, who isn't coming because he's currently not speaking to my father who obviously is coming, I didn't take it personally. We don't have a minimum at our venue, so every person who can't come is less money we have to spend.

XxMari518xX · March 2012

I understand where you are coming from but I was super happy!! LoL ... it sounds mean but as I've mentioned before my FI and I has to pick up an unexpected bill and each plate is over $130.

We invited 200 and because of certain circumstances it went down to 160 and we were able to invite 20 more people! It worked out for us because we saved $3000!

pinkaurora · March 2012

I think it's fine if you're a little miffed but try to understand that plans, finances, etc. change, often rather quickly. Maybe some of the people who told you they were coming figured out that if they attended your wedding, they wouldn't be able to pay the rent. My brother and sister-in-law will be both be deployed for my wedding. My brother didn't even tell me until I called to ask him if he wanted to rent a tux two months ago. Am I offended? A little. More disappointed. Keep your chin up and find a good use for all that extra food...soup kitchen? Homeless shelter?

futuremrsdavies · March 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_april-2012-weddings_so-i-know-its-kinda-silly-but?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Club BoardsForum:05427f07-4ba2-44d6-9271-99a7af1ee5c0Discussion:d8491865-c361-485d-ab59-c741a6099e87Post:9e58c51e-f59f-4b52-af52-074ac51bbf2f">Re: So I know its kinda silly but....</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's fine if you're a little miffed but try to understand that plans, finances, etc. change, often rather quickly. Maybe some of the people who told you they were coming figured out that if they attended your wedding, they wouldn't be able to pay the rent. My brother and sister-in-law will be both be deployed for my wedding. My brother didn't even tell me until I called to ask him if he wanted to rent a tux two months ago. Am I offended? A little. More disappointed. Keep your chin up and find <strong>a good use for all that extra food...soup kitchen? Homeless shelter?
</strong>Posted by pinkaurora[/QUOTE]

Ironically if I could take the food and donate it....I wouldn't be as upset...but no, my venue doesn't let me take home the food. I pay and if there is no one there to eat it....too bad for me.

I'm sorry about your brother...as terrible as it sounds I think I again just needed to hear that it isnt just me

[Deleted User] · March 2012

I am in the exact same boat! Most of FI's family will not be there, including 3 of his 4 siblings. They all insisted that they couldn't wait to come and then when they started sending RSVPs back they all declined. One of my aunts got her STD, and messaged me a million times on fb asking me over and over when the wedding was so that she could take off of work. She messaged me a couple weeks ago asking me about hotel accomodations and airport info...her decline RSVP was postmarked the same day. Later she told my mom that she received her invite too late and that she couldn't afford the last minute rates for air travel and hotel because she is saving up for a vacation to Chicago. Seriously?! So now we aren't going to meet our adult minimum and we had to do the dreaded B-list.

So I know its kinda silly but....

Re: So I know its kinda silly but....

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