July 2012 Weddings

Not sure how to handle this...help!

I work in Purchasing and I manage contracts/pricing on raw materials for a large manufacturer. I've worked with one of my suppliers for about 10 years now.

He called yesterday and wanted to give me a wedding gift. The gift would be partly personal on his part and partly from his company. He wants me to use $500 however I want, but is hoping that I take my extended family to a nice dinner. All I have to do is call him with the place & day and he'll call in with his credit card number to take care of the bill. He also mentioned something about putting it towards my catering bill if I'd like.

Holy cow! $500!! That's unbelieveable! But here's the problem...my work has a policy that I don't think is enforced all that strictly about taking gifts over a certain amount and $500 is definitely over that amount. For a number of reasons, I'm already job hunting and am trying to leave my current employer.

I don't know if I should take him up on his offer. What would you do? $500 would take care of ALL of my catering bill! My wedding budget is only $2500 and that includes our family moon after. $500 is a big part of my entire budget. But that policy is looming over me. I don't have any co workers that I trust enough with this information to ask their advice.

Ironically, the night before this conversation (the night of our flood) FI and I were talking about calling off our 'big' wedding and just going down to the courthouse because of all the non wedding expenses that are popping up and we could really use that money elsewhere. I prayed that God would give me a sign on what I should do. The next morning, I get this phone call from my supplier. Is it the sign I was looking for?? Not sure.

Re: Not sure how to handle this...help!

  • If you do decide to take the gift, I would talk to your supplier and let him know the company policy and that you could get in trouble if anyone found out about the gift.
    He will be less likely to tell anyone else at your company about the gift.

    I wouldn't want you to risk your job, even if you are planning to leave. However, my company doesn't allow employees to accept gifts either and I once received a goodie bag from a potential vendor and I kept it. I know another person who accepts gifts (concert and sporting event tickets, paid lunches, etc..) even though he's not supposed to. His manager just told him to be discreet about it and not discuss it with his co-workers.

    I personally would have a hard time saying no to something that would really help with your wedding costs. Your supplier is not trying to change your work relationship. He's just being thoughtful and wants to do something for you outside of work. Just be clear with him that while his gift is very generous, there should be no expectations of any future work related benefits for him or his company.
  • Can your vendor keep it off of their books?  If they can, it's a personal gift, right?  Nothing to do with your company then... win/win?  :)
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  • Oh gosh... I wish I had some advice for you, but I don't know what I would do in that situation!! I'll be praying for you though, that's for sure!
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  • hmmmmm. A personal wedding gift given by a friend is one thing, but the fact that he wants the gift to partly come from his company means that it would likely be on his company's books, which would make me nervous.  Perhaps you could tell him how honored you would be to accept a personal gift from him, but that due to your company policy, you wouldn't be able to accept a gift from his company? This really is a tricky situation. Even though you are trying to laeve your company, you don't want to burn any bridges. 
  • Yeah, the thing I'm hung up on is that he said "partially from his company". What does that mean? He wants to give the restaurant a cc... so it's either a personal CC or a company CC. If it is a company CC, then I think you have to decline it.

    I know my company is very strict about these things. Our limit for gifts is only $50, and it sounds like from your post that yours is probably similar. I wouldn't risk my job even if I was thinking of leaving.
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  • Honestly, I wouldn't accept it. That looks shady, even if "no one finds out." Believe me - people find out stuff you don't think they will find out. I see it daily.

    If he gives you a personal check for $500 from his personal account, maybe. But I'd still be wary.
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