What is needed?

[Deleted User] · May 2010

My Fiance is Catholic and I'm not. He really wants to have a Catholic wedding but different people and sites have told me different things about what kind of requirements there are to have it allowed? I was baptized in a Christian church and I've been told that might cause issues as well or that I'll have to go through being baptized in the Catholic church before it'll be accepted. I'm really not sure what to expect or what I'll need to do paperwork and all that wise. What has other people found it takes? Having a Catholic wedding is really important to my fiance so I need to know what to expect.

mlhw-nh · May 2010

At my church as long as one of you are Catholic it is fine. And as far as your Baptism (as I understand it, I am new to all of this. I was just confirmed at Easter)you only do that one time. Any Christian baptism is accepted. As a lot of ladies on this board will tell you though you need to check with they preist of the church you intend to be married at. Different churches have different rules.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

That is correct, the Catholic church recognizes one baptism, regardless of your age or faith it was performed in. It sounds like you just need to go through RCIA if you would like to convert.

As far as having a Catholic wedding goes, you guys can still have one, and it is still legally valid in the eyes of the Church. They will ask you (if you don't convert) if you agree to raise your children Catholic and you will still have to go through the pre-cana/marriage prep requirements with him.

You have 2 choices with the actual ceremony part, you can have just mass with no Eucharist or you can have the Eucharist. It depends on if you two, it is a very personal decision. If you can't partake in communion (if you don't want to convert or don't have time to go through the process) you obviously won't be able to take communion with him if you have full mass. This is usually a very special part, receiving the Eucharist together as a married couple, but you can do whatever you want, like I said, it is a personal decision.

Good luck.

Calypso1977 · May 2010

yes, you can be married in teh catholic church as long as you are both baptized and one of you is catholic.

as others said you will still ahve to do pre-cana, etc. and agree not to interfere with your spouse's ability to raise the children borne of your marriage in teh catholic faith.

you are not required to convert. i would not convert unless you truly want to. you will know when and if the time is right for you.

Karen's MOH · May 2010

I was at pre-cana this weekend and they actually said most priests are going away from the promising to raise your children Catholic nowadays.

Most priests would recommend you not have a full mass, as having only one of you receive communion is devisive, rather than unifying, but other than that you shouldn't have any problem.

Gin93081 · May 2010

Your FI's church will probably ask you to bring a baptismal certificate from your church (Catholics from other parishes have to do this too). You'll also have at least one meeting with priest and pre-wedding counseling like engaged encouter, pre cana, or couple to couple. Oh, and Catholic weddings are only held in Catholic churches, they might require that one of you be a member.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be pushy. Yes, only convert if you feel it is something you want to do and are ready for. By no means do it just because. It is something that you have to put your mind and heart into if you are going to take it seriously and get anything out of the whole RCIA process. I went through it, but I was baptized Catholic, just never got the rest of the sacraments, so I went through RCIA even before FI proposed. We had discussed how a Catholic wedding was important to him. It was also something I had always wanted to do, just was never able until I got out of college and on my own. HTH

[Deleted User] · May 2010

Thank you so very much everyone! I so appreacite all the help!

That was incredibly helpful. I haven't fully decided if I want to convert over yet or not but I know he's hoping that I will sooner or later. I'm looking into places and ways we can have the Catholic ceremony but not have to have it at an actual church, since it'll be in either Texas or Mexico since that's where his family is from I've found some that I'm hoping I can look into. As long as I don't have to go through a huge course between now and then to have the church accept it then I'm good lol The couples counseling and the pre wedding counseling with the priest I expected, not totally sure what to expect from it but I can handle that. I was totally stressing over it because of what some people had said I'd have to go through! Thank you so much

Plus I already have a signed paper from the church I was going to confirming that I was baptized so that makes it easier still

Thank you!

Calypso1977 · May 2010

you will most likely have to have it in a Church. catholic weddings normally do not take place outside.

if his family is from texas/mexico, you should be able to use a parish that one of them belongs to.

unplainjane · May 2010

if you want to have a catholic ceremony you have to have it in a church. talk to your local priest about getting married in another church as he may need to do the paperwork to do a transfer. as well talk to your priest at least a year before you plan to get married.

[Deleted User] · May 2010

Thank you

Yeah, I know that the catholic church won't accept a ceremony outside the church but we've been looking into places that we can have the outdoor wedding I really want but still have the catholic ceremony. We've found at least 1 place that it says is accepted and approved by the church for catholic ceremonys since it has a little chapel. We're hoping to go with something like that. Thank you so much for the advice

unplainjane · May 2010

i've never heard of the church allowing a ceremony outdoors because a chapel is on the property but i guess you lucked out : ) if it is a church that his family does not attend i would be sensitive about it when you talk to your local priest. some priests may not like that you want to be married at that site simply because you want to have a ceremony outside. they don't want it to feel like you are picking a venue. as they see the marriage ceremony very much based on community. so when you talk to him focus on the fact that you want to be married in your fiance's family's state or country.

Myroni03 · May 2010

You can actually have a weddng in another non-Catholic church. An acquaintance had an approved Catholic marriage in a Presbyterian church. Our wedding will be held in a non-denom. chapel as FI is Catholic and I am Methodist. Your priest or deacon can work with you to make sure everything is taken care of... meaning we have to have our marriage put on file with the closest Catholic church

Riss91 · May 2010

I've never heard of the Catholic church approving an outdoor wedding either. I know they will approve a ceremony in other denominations' churches, but I thought it needed to be in a sacred building (and usually they give these dispensations where a family member is part of the clergy and the couple wants them to perform the ceremony).

vanletine2010 - is your ceremony being held inside the chapel, and the reception is outdoors? If the ceremony is outdoors, is the priest you are dealing with aware they you aren't using the chapel for the ceremony? I'd be sure he knows all the details so you don't get caught in a predicament! Good Luck!

CourtneyJ2010 · May 2010

Where I live there is actually an outside church. It is just the pillars and stone benches and it has a roof and ceiling fans but for all practical purposes it is outdoors and it is recognized as a church. It is beautiful, and if I wasn't getting married in June in south Texas I totally would have wanted to use it.

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