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September 2012 Weddings

I feel bad...

MOH (my sister) got laid off from her job on Friday!!  She has already planned the bach party and the shower...but hasn't finished paying for everything.  I know she asked the BM to help and I feel terrible! #1- I feel really bad that she has to deal with this (paying bills and being able to live is much more important then  a bach party and a bridal shower)  #2- I feel bad that the BM now are forking out more $ to help her.   I just wish I had money to give her so I could at least help out.

Everything involving this wedding is beyond stressful.  I cant wait to just be married!

Re: I feel bad...

  • CreoleBride30CreoleBride30 member
    1000 Comments 25 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited July 2012
    I'm sorry to hear your friend lost her job. Remain prayerful if you are a spiritual person. Things will all work out. You may feel torn because you do want a BP but you don't want it if it's going to put someone in the red. But! It's just a party!!! I'm sure if you care for your friend and her wellbeing this much, then just spending time with your girls will be all that matters in the grand scheme of things, right? Just put a different perspective on it and everything will work itself out. Try not to stress over this. I'm sure your friends live you and will do what they can with what they have. I hope this works out for you and all your friends! Keep us updated on how it turns out. I know you will have a fabulous time!!!! FYI: sorry, I am doing this on my phone. When it posts, it takes all the paragraphs away Sincerely, September Knottie Cha
    click here to view our Amazing Love wedding website Anniversary
  • I'm so sorry to hear that!  Is there a way to scale it back a bit?  Maybe if she has shower  decorations purchased, they can be returned.  Decorations are cute but not necessary.  Maybe you can switch the shower to a potluck so she isn't stuck with all the food?  You should get a Bach party and shower but it doesn't have to be crazy expensive.  If you know the plans, share them hear and maybe we can come up with some creative ways for you ladies to scale back but still have a blast.  I know how stressful the money thing can be and how important it is to be sensitive of your WP!
  • The bach is pretty low key.  They rented a hotel in the down town of a city where we can bar hop.  We were going to go out to dinner, have a "slumber party" (which I'm not a big fan of but... they planned it haha) then go to the bars.  My suggestion was to cancel the hotel, cancel the "slumber party" , order pizza then grab a couple of drinks.  That to me sounds like a great time!

    The bridal shower is booked at a local restaurant.  She did book the cheapest package they have there but her original plan was to purchase decorations, favors, a cake, simple center pieces etc;.  My suggestion was no decorations, purchase a couple of cheap bouquets at the local grocery store to put into vases for the centerpieces, and just do the jordan almonds as the favor, and no cake.

    I did suggest all this to her but her attitude is "this is your special day and I dont want to cut corners".  I do understand what shes thinking, but I am not a high maintenace person.  Its more important to me that she saves her money for her until she can find a new job.  I would be more then ok with everyone coming to me house and making "finger foods" lol.
  • Have you bought gifts for people throwing your shower?  I told my shower hostesses not to worry about centerpieces as I bought bouquets of flowers and put them in vases from the dollar store as a thank you and had them use those as the centerpieces.  An easy way to save money for her.
    September 2012: Invitations

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  • In Response to Re: I feel bad...:
    [QUOTE]The bach is pretty low key.  They rented a hotel in the down town of a city where we can bar hop.  We were going to go out to dinner, have a "slumber party" (which I'm not a big fan of but... they planned it haha) then go to the bars.  My suggestion was to cancel the hotel, cancel the "slumber party" , order pizza then grab a couple of drinks.  That to me sounds like a great time! The bridal shower is booked at a local restaurant.  She did book the cheapest package they have there but her original plan was to purchase decorations, favors, a cake, simple center pieces etc;.  My suggestion was no decorations, purchase a couple of cheap bouquets at the local grocery store to put into vases for the centerpieces, and just do the jordan almonds as the favor, and no cake. I did suggest all this to her but her attitude is "this is your special day and I dont want to cut corners".  I do understand what shes thinking, but I am not a high maintenace person.  Its more important to me that she saves her money for her until she can find a new job.  I would be more then ok with everyone coming to me house and making "finger foods" lol.
    Posted by cronin85[/QUOTE]

    I would definitely cancel the hotel if you can SAFELY get everyone home in a cab for cheaper.  You don't want anyone drinking and driving.  If people have to drink and drive I think the hotel is worth the expense.  I definitely agree with the pizza for dinner.  And, if everyone brought their favorite wine or beer (depending on what your crowd likes) to share with pizza, you'd have a pretty sufficient "pre-game" so people don't have to buy so many drinks at the bar. 

    For the shower, having it at someone's home would probably be cheaper than at a restaurant especially if you did it during non-meal hours.  We did mine from 2-5pm and just had appetizers and mini cupcakes.  That is really sweet that your sister wants to make it special but remind her these events are made special by the company not by the extravagance of it.  That's what you'll remember.  I'd keep giving her ways out of all the expenses so if she does ever feel like she's in over her head, she feels comfortable switching things up. 
  • In Response to Re: I feel bad...:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Re: I feel bad... : I would definitely cancel the hotel if you can SAFELY get everyone home in a cab for cheaper.  You don't want anyone drinking and driving.  If people have to drink and drive I think the hotel is worth the expense.  I definitely agree with the pizza for dinner.  And, if everyone brought their favorite wine or beer (depending on what your crowd likes) to share with pizza, you'd have a pretty sufficient "pre-game" so people don't have to buy so many drinks at the bar.  For the shower, having it at someone's home would probably be cheaper than at a restaurant especially if you did it during non-meal hours.  We did mine from 2-5pm and just had appetizers and mini cupcakes.  That is really sweet that your sister wants to make it special but remind her these events are made special by the company not by the extravagance of it.  That's what you'll remember.  I'd keep giving her ways out of all the expenses so if she does ever feel like she's in over her head, she feels comfortable switching things up. 
    Posted by volleygurl0306[/QUOTE]


    Thanks for the advice.  I will just keep on her regarding this and hopefully I can convince her to change her mind!  :)
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