Addressing STD's versus Invites

lboerner88 · August 2010

Hello everyone!

FI and I finalized our guest list this weekend and our hoping to send out our save-the-dates soon. So as we were going over the guest list I started wondering how to address the STD's. Do we address them:

Mr. and Mrs. First Name Last Name

or

First Name and First Name Last Name

or

some other way that I am not even thinking of

And then do we address the invitations the same way? Or a different way?

Maybe this is a dumb question, but I couldn't make a decision here!

Thanks!
Laura

shameless_ad · August 2010

We did it differently for Save the Dates and invitations.

For STD's we did casual addressing "Jim and Susan Jones"

For invitations we did formal addressing on the outer envelope "Mr. and Mrs. James Jones" with the address written out in the formal manner also;
and casual on the inner envelope "Jim and Susan Jones"

beka0404 · August 2010

We did casual names for our STDs (Jane and John Doe) and for our invites we did formal names on the outer envelopes (Mr. and Mrs. John Doe) and first names on the inner envelopes (Jane and John). No idea if our inner envelopes are etiquette-perfect - I just wanted the inner envelopes to be less formal.

Steph0871 · August 2010

Ditto both PPs. Our STDs were super casual, but the invites will be more formal.

shan87 · August 2010

Ditto everyone else. :-)

KittE7 · August 2010

We sort-of did the "formal" address on the STDs, and then followed formal "rules" for the invites.
Meaning, on the Stds, I did write Mr. and Mrs. FN LN and Family", but on the invites, we didn't write "and Family" on the outer envelope.

I also botched the rules of formal address for the STDs by putting both the husband & wife's names on the outer envelope along with the Mr/Mrs (which is not correct for formal address). It was bugging me that I couldn't write my aunts/girlfriends' names, so I made my own rules! ie, Mr. James and Mrs. Susan Smith - I should have just written James and Susan Smith. whatev.

dcprep · August 2010

We did BOTH of them formal. We wanted to convey through our STDs that this would be a more formal wedding.

STDs:

Invitations:

laura_fett · August 2010

We did both casual, Bob and Joan Smith. For people with nick names like Nikki instead of Nicole, I wrote their full name if I knew for sure that there name was a longer version, but wrote the shorter version if I didn't know for sure. There are some people who's name is Jon not Jonathan, and I didn't want to make that mistake.

One other thing to make sure you do correct, not a problem on your side, but if FI's side is bigger and you don't know everyone, make sure you know who's married and who's not. FI didn't understand my guest list format and wrote everyone on the list the same whether or not they were married, so when I went to address the envelopes there were at least two that got sent Bob and Joan Smith, when Joan is not a Smith. I got really mad at FI when I learned that, because I learned that AFTER the invites got sent out. Maybe not a problem for you, but my FI has a big side, and there are several cousin's I've never met, and didn't know their marital status.

veijes · August 2010

Ditto pp, causal for the STDs, formal for the invites. I think we even printed our STD addresses, but that was soooo long ago haha.

I Want Cake · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_addressing-stds-versus-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:f0629866-c048-416a-b2a0-3e5720af8d9cPost:bdbb9259-d329-42bd-a758-f5f677d0fc24">Re: Addressing STD's versus Invites</a>:
[QUOTE] I also botched the rules of formal address for the STDs by putting both the husband & wife's names on the outer envelope along with the Mr/Mrs (which is not correct for formal address). It was bugging me that I couldn't write my aunts/girlfriends' names, so I made my own rules! ie, Mr. James and Mrs. Susan Smith - I should have just written James and Susan Smith. whatev.
Posted by KittE7[/QUOTE]

I don't think this is botching it at all, since I plan on doing exactly the same thing as you, and I'm honestly pretty relieved that someone else has the same feeling about it as me. We are having a formal reception, and I think that's still conveyed in having both invitee's first names spelled out. Personally, I'd be insulted to be referred to as "Mrs. husband's full name." I'm very much my own person, and would like to be referred to as such, thankyouverymuch.

So anyway, good on you, KittE7!

lboerner88 · August 2010

Thanks for the advice everyone! I like the casual for the STD's and more formal for the invitations. I don't really like referring to a couple as Mr. and Mrs. Husband's name either, so not sure what I will do with that one....

dcprep · August 2010

[QUOTE]Personally, I'd be insulted to be referred to as "Mrs. husband's full name." I'm very much my own person, and would like to be referred to as such, thankyouverymuch.
Posted by I Want Cake[/QUOTE]
Agree. But why change your last name in the first place?

I Want Cake · August 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_minnesota-minneapolis-st-paul_addressing-stds-versus-invites?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:81Discussion:f0629866-c048-416a-b2a0-3e5720af8d9cPost:dc816924-db65-4f64-be21-a2517ec2734e">Re: Addressing STD's versus Invites</a>:
[QUOTE]Agree. But why change your last name in the first place?
Posted by dcprep[/QUOTE]

Actually, I'm going to be hyphenating. I have no problem with adding FI's name, but a big problem with subtracting mine. I just hope that people always use my full hyphenated name instead of just assuming that just FI's last name is fine for me when it absolutely is not.

lboerner88 · August 2010

Did you guys put "and Guest" on your STD's for single people?

shameless_ad · August 2010

I did put "and guest" on the STDs, and I wish I hadn't. As we get closer to the wedding, we're finding our guest list is expanding, and because we already told people they can bring a guest by putting it on the STD, we don't have the option of inviting them alone on the formal invitation.

In the long run, not a huge deal, since most of our single friends won't bring a guest anyway, but it would've been nice to have the option of trimming our guest list by removing "and guest" from some invitations.

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