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The right type of wedding???

PamB55PamB55
in 40-Plus Brides
I am engaged to a wonderful, caring man.  We have both been married before.  In fact, this will be our third time.  Even though we feel like kids again, he is 60 and I am 55. Of course I don't see a big formal ceremony.  Possible suit and I will wear a short Ivory wedding dress.  His son is 23 and will stand with his dad.  My daughter is 30 and will stand with me.  My son, is 24, an he will give me away.  My problem is what type of ceremony would I have.  We want a party reception with wine, etc..... the church will have to be out of the question.  Please HELP me!!!!!!   We have so many friends that want to join us and our families.
PamB55
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Re: The right type of wedding???

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    kikirst33kikirst33 member
    First Comment
    edited June 2012
    Why not have the ceremony and reception at the same location?  My FI and I are doing exactly that (a bit more formal wedding since it's my first - I'm 42).

    Not sure how many people you want to attend but there are many restaurants or halls where you could have a small ceremony and then enjoy drinks and appetizer/dinner.  When my brother remarried they invited family/friends to city hall where they had their ceremony. We all went to a nice restaurant afterwards for dinner.

    You have many options - I'd start with your budget and go from there.  :)
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    Lisa50Lisa50 member
    5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Comment
    OK ... I'm going to burst a couple (not necessarily your) bubbles here.  A second wedding does not necessarily equal a less formal wedding.  If you want to have your ceremony in a Church -- do it!  If you want to marry in City Hall (like Carrie and Big), go for it!

    Maybe this will give you ideas (some you might like, some you won't) ...

    Last year, I married for the second time -- it was H's third time.  We married on an outdoor terrace at an historic inn with a string quartet with a Protestant minister officiating.  I wore a floor length dress (blue*), H wore a tuxedo.  We each had one attendant.  Following cocktails and appetizers (we were off having photos taken) for our guests, we went inside for a plated dinner.  There was a traditional cake-cutting then dancing the night away (DJ).  About 45 close friends and family attended.  We mailed a custom-designed Save the Date post cards (married on a holiday weekend), had a great photographer (3 actually), beautiful letterpress invitations (no reply cards) and did not register for gifts.  Our ceremony began with H and I walking out, together, and greeting each of our guests personally.  Our reception ended with one last, slow dance and a big hug and kiss.

    *The traditional white poufy dress and veil ensemble are not for me.  I wore it in 2nd grade for my First Holy Communion and decided, at that time, "never again!" I wore a pink dress for my first wedding.
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    AbbeyS2011AbbeyS2011 member
    First Comment
    A hotel, a B n B, a museum, or even an aquarium would work!  Definitely check with them regarding rules/regs about alcohol, but your options are limitless!

    This is the first wedding you and FI have together, so it is special, and will be a lovely day, no matter what you decide!


    Happy Planning!
    Anniversary
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    noahark1noahark1 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited June 2012
    I agree that this is your first wedding together so do whatever feels comfortable for the two of you.  I was previously married for many years, this will be my FI's first marriage.  I'm not going to short-change FI's dreams because I have an ex-husband.   We decided to ask our close firends and family to join us for a Destination Wedding.  I am wearing a gown, FI a tux.  My children and her sister and niece are our WP and will be wearing long dresses, tux/vests.  Our ceremony site is an historic Inn.  The ceremony will be in the gazebo, cocktails served on the patio with plated meal inside in one of the private banquet rooms.  We realistically expect about 35 people in attendance but that is due more to being DW and not at all due to a second marriage.  This is our dream.  Live your dream

    I  should clarify that we are not doing a DW because it is my second marriage.  If we could, I would have no qualms having the ceremony in our church.  As it is, our minister is marrying us on the DW
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    ML245ML245
    First Comment
    edited July 2012
    I started out planning to not do the whole big wedding again since we had both been married before. But, when the planning started we just kind of made a short list of must have people at the wedding and it came to around 50 people. You can't just take 50 people to dinner. So, we are getting married in a church ( not Catholic) and we are having a reception with a buffet and dancing. We won't cut the cake and throw the bouquet, but it will be a really fun party, which in the end is what we decided we wanted. I say do what you want. There will always be someone who doesn't like what you plan, but turn a deaf ear to them. Everyone should be happy for you and what you want should be respected.
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    CascadiaCascadia
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    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_40-plus-brides_the-right-type-of-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:69dea60c-2319-4015-8380-4a5cc0f18476Discussion:317a5c9d-d45b-49c7-bca2-f86394335826Post:04f0f195-7ee3-4156-86e2-4b9df2d40248">The right type of wedding???</a>:  A wedding is a wedding is a wedding - And you should have whatever kind of wedding you want.  The love you have for each other and the commitment you are making to each other deserves to be celebrated.  Don't hide your joy!   Those friends and family who love you both will want to celebrate your marriage.   Plan your wedding to please yourselves and share it with the ones who love and care about you.   <div>
    </div><div>
    [QUOTE]I am engaged to a wonderful, caring man.  We have both been married before.  In fact, this will be our third time.  Even though we feel like kids again, he is 60 and I am 55. Of course I don't see a big formal ceremony.  Possible suit and I will wear a short Ivory wedding dress.  His son is 23 and will stand with his dad.  My daughter is 30 and will stand with me.  My son, is 24, an he will give me away.  My problem is what type of ceremony would I have.  We want a party reception with wine, etc..... the church will have to be out of the question.  Please HELP me!!!!!!   We have so many friends that want to join us and our families. PamB55
    Posted by PamB55[/QUOTE]

    </div>
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    CascadiaCascadia
    First Comment
    In Response to Re: The right type of wedding???:
    Why would you celebrate this wedding with less joy than any other.   Be happy for the love you have found, the commitment you are making and share as much of it as you can.  Why no cake?  why no dance?  Have a good time!!  


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    Leo379Leo379 member
    First Comment
    This is my fiance's 3rd wedding and my second. I had the big wedding before but believe it or not my fiancé has never done all this before so we are getting married in a church with my daughter as my maid of honor, his daughter and my daughter in law standing up with me. I am wearing a formal ivory long chiffon dress. He is having his best friend as his best man, his son and a step son from his second marriage stand up with him. All in tuxes. We are having drinks and hors 'd oeuvres on the veranda and then going inside for a seated dinner, no wedding cake, no throwing of the bouquet or the garter. Just dancing after dinner. No gifts and about 55 people. You can do whatever YOU want. Enjoy your day!
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    CascadiaCascadia
    First Comment
         It would be so wonderful if brides and grooms would ignore the old traditions, rules, restrictions, and protocols that have no basis in fact, reason, or reality.  Your wedding is the foundation for the rest of your lives.  It's the beginning of your new branch of the family.  If you already have children, or grown children, your wedding is still the foundation for the rest of your lives.  Please don't think you need to hide your joy under sack cloth and ash simply because your previous marriage failed.  If you have been divorced, you know there was enough pain.  No need to punish yourself any further.  CELEBRATE your marriage with all your heart.  Express your love and commitment.  Encourage your family and friends to do the same.  
         I'll be 65 when Kevin and I marry on a cruise ship.   I'm wearing a lavish evening gown suited to my figure, my personality, and the significance of our wedding.  My gown will have a small train.  My bouquet will be quite extravagant.   The cruise itself is an upper end cruise - something both of us have always wanted.  There will be a reception / celebration when we get home.  
         For over 30 years I've designed hundreds of wedding gowns, I'm a licensed florist, and I've made dozens of wedding cakes, and even catered several events.  Any time I had the opportunity to provide advice, I told my clients to follow their own hearts as they made the plans for their event.   

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