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Second engagement, first wedding

MrsKingston1204MrsKingston1204 member
Third Anniversary First Comment
in Second Weddings
I just got engaged a couple of days ago and am overwhelmed with emotions! I am so excited because I am marrying the man of my dreams, with not a doubt in my mind that we will be together forever.  However, I do need some advice. I was engaged (not married) once before. I was the one who called off my previous engagement and am very happy with my decision. When I called it off, we were still 7 months away from getting married, but we still had a lot planned. I had bought a dress, which I still have and am in love with. Would it be okay to wear this same dress to my wedding now, even though it was picked out for a previous engagement? Not only do I love the dress, but there is also another reason I am wondering. I lost my mother when I was 16, so planning a wedding without her is very difficult, emotionally, for me. I do not want to go through the emotions of picking out another dress without having her by my side. Opinions?
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Re: Second engagement, first wedding

  • Lisa50Lisa50 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    First, congratulations on your engagement!!  I think that, if you still like that dress, you should wear it for your wedding.
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  • Avion22Avion22 member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its
    If it feels okay to YOU to wear it, then wear it.   If it feels a little weird to you, then don't. 

    I'm not one of those people who attaches too much sentimentality to THINGS.   But sometimes big events (like a called-off engagement) mark changes in our personality or tastes.  For example, the wedding dress that was perfect for me when I was 23 and married my first husband wouldn't have fit my personality at all by the time I married my second husband last month (I'm 31 now).   

    But if you still love it and feel comfortable wearing it, then go for it:-)  Nobody has to know, and for those who might know, it's none of their business anyway.
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  • MrsKingston1204MrsKingston1204 member
    Third Anniversary First Comment
    Thank you for the advice! I still love the dress and feel like it fits my personality. I feel a little guilty wearing it, but I think it's because I worry about what OTHER people will think. It's really none of their business and I know that I will be able to get past that because I know it's the dress that I want to wear. Thank you for the encouragement.
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  • PopPowPopPow
    100 Comments
    Well unless you tell them I am sure very few people will know it's the same dress. Just the people you showed the dress before and those people will understand that you bought the dress for YOU because you loved it.
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  • boaznruthboaznruth
    10 Comments
    It sounds like this dress has more positive connections for you to your mother than negative connections to your ex FI.  As others have said, unless you point out to others that it's the same dress...how are they going to know?

    I think, as long as it's not an area where you will hurt someone else's feelings or intrude on their rights...the best policy is usually doing what feels right to you for your wedding.  If the dress fits, you love it, and you feel good in it...go for it.  :)
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