Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal

Re: Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal

• NYCMercedes member

  

  March 2013 edited March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_eloping-then-planning-on-ceremonyreception-for-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:ef1a4fc9-3371-41be-a293-8741d1e296f6Post:963c1705-6857-45dc-b3b6-b35f6d5aa923">Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hello :) My fiance and I have been talking lately about eloping. We have been together for six years and are still in college, thus leading a financial strapping life. We are very much so in love and do not want to wait until we can afford "the wedding" we dream of to begin our lives as one. So we have decided that eloping is the best thing for us, especially because exchanging our vows privately is very appealing to us due to us being very private peple. So we plan on renewing our vows later on and having the cereomny and reception as if it were our wedding BUT IT CLEARLY being a vow renewal. We have never lived together, we are celibate, and we are perfect together. So my question is... is this appropriate? We cannot afford (neither can our families afford a wedding) until we are out of college graduate programs, but we will be able to live together and lead a strong marriage. 
  Posted by HeatherSalomone[/QUOTE]
  
  Sounds like a plan. The future vow renewal is not a wedding. There is no big white dress, no bridesmaids, no showers, etc. No dad walking you down the aisle. You can have a wild party, but the cake shouldn't look like a wedding cake. Your first dance changes to a spotlight dance.

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• artbyallie mod

  

  March 2013

  If you get married now, you don't get to pretend to be a bride later.

  

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• GoodLuckBear14 member

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_eloping-then-planning-on-ceremonyreception-for-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:ef1a4fc9-3371-41be-a293-8741d1e296f6Post:1622e6de-3eb9-447a-9528-4eb6c1e12e55">Re:Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal</a>:
  [QUOTE]Ditto everyone else. You should have a "traditional" wedding now if that's what you want. You can easily do it for under a thousand dollars. Most of us don't get our dream wedding, my wedding was neither my "dream" nor my husbands'. It was a simple affair based on what we could afford, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. I would also urge you to consider jumping into marriage very carefully since you are still students and have never lived together. Living together comes with a TON of little unforeseen expenses. And there is a good chance that you will seriously struggle for a bit after graduation, especially with the current economy. I understand wanting to be together, but it sounds like you guys have really tight finances as it is, so I would definitely take a good look at them and really map out a plan to make sure you can afford living together AND putting aside some savings for after graduation, as well as have enough disposable income for things that crop up like car trouble, minor medical bills, etc. <strong>With all due respect, any time someone announces their celibacy and then talks about eloping, I always wonder if they're rushing into it so they can live together. That is NOT a good reason to get married sooner rather than later.
  </strong>Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]
  
  That was my first thought.

  Proud to be an old married hag!!

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• renegade gaucho member

  

  March 2013

  I'm not sure what the status of your hymen or whether you've lived together has to do with anything here.
  
  Just like with anything else in life, if you want something that you can't afford right now, you work hard and wait until you've saved enough for it.  If you want to be married before that, fine, but be a responsible adult and accept the consequences of your choice.

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• KnotIrene admin

  

  March 2013

  I really like how everyone offered alternative solutions to the OP's post.  It's a great way to respond to posts like this.  Thanks to all.

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• thejucheidea member

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_eloping-then-planning-on-ceremonyreception-for-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:ef1a4fc9-3371-41be-a293-8741d1e296f6Post:efc96e24-07c4-4ed6-bbea-475667630707">Re:Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal</a>:
  [QUOTE]In Response to Re:Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal : That was my first thought.
  Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]
  
  Same.

  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  March 2013

  One thing to consider before eloping since you are both still in college, if you are getting any type of financial aid, would being married impact your qualifications for that? I'm not even sure if it would, but it might be something to check into before hand.
  
  Also, how do your parents feel about it? When my sister got engaged while in college my parents told her if she got married before she was done with college that they would no longer provide her with financial assistance because they felt that once you get married, you are an adult & you & your husband are responsible for all financial obligations & it's no longer a parents responsibility to take care of you.
  
  I'm all for marriage, but I would hate for you to suffer any financial hardships due to not waiting until you were done with college.

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• OwningAHome1981 member

  

  March 2013

  In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_ceremony-ideas_eloping-then-planning-on-ceremonyreception-for-a-vow-renewal?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:10Discussion:ef1a4fc9-3371-41be-a293-8741d1e296f6Post:963c1705-6857-45dc-b3b6-b35f6d5aa923">Eloping then Planning on Ceremony/Reception for a Vow Renewal</a>:
  [QUOTE]Hello :) My fiance and I have been talking lately about eloping. We have been together for six years and are still in college, thus leading a financial strapping life. We are very much so in love and do not want to wait until we can afford "the wedding" we dream of to begin our lives as one. So we have decided that eloping is the best thing for us, especially because exchanging our vows privately is very appealing to us due to us being very private peple. So we plan on renewing our vows later on and having the cereomny and reception as if it were our wedding BUT IT CLEARLY being a vow renewal. We have never lived together, we are celibate, and we are perfect together. So my question is... is this appropriate? We cannot afford (neither can our families afford a wedding) until we are out of college graduate programs, but we will be able to live together and lead a strong marriage. 
  Posted by HeatherSalomone[/QUOTE]
  
  Wait til you graduate college. Do yourself a favour. You will be wiser then, you will maybe have a job and then you can even save $$ for that wedding of your dreams. No reason to rush it.

  

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• tally7 member

  

  March 2013

  do whatever you want - it could be after you elope you wont be worried about the wedding of 'your dreams' anymoe

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