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Wedding Etiquette Forum

This really annoys me

So today I logon to facebook and see a post from a friend "Just ate the top of our wedding cake.  Happy one year anniversary to my husband!"  What annoys me is this is not their actually wedding anniversary.  They had gotten married in front of a JOP the November before.  They got married in that November because they "couldn't stand to not to be married to each other anymore and couldn't wait" and also because they "Got a tax break".  Now a year ago they "officially" got married with a big wedding ceremony with bridesmaids and groomsman.  Then they had a huge reception afterwords.  I know and remember that the real anniversary was in November and now she is trying to play it off as oh we got married a year ago yay!.  

NO all you had a year ago was a big party so people would look at you because after you really got married you decided you wanted to big todo and have everyone look at you and get presents.
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Re: This really annoys me

  • It was a year ago. Do you really still care?
  • I admit I would do a big ole eye roll at that post.   

    I would even mention in a confession/vent type thread.  I wouldn't start a new thread about it though.  I just don't care that much.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • lol...I would just go eat some cake! 
    Anniversary
  • I have 2 facebook friends who are planning their pretty princess day "wedding" who are both already married.  One got married a year and a half ago in a destination wedding while she was pregnant (they were together forever and were going to get married eventually anyway, but I'm assuming they needed to be married to be on his military insurance).  The other one got married a few weeks ago in a courthouse even though when they first got engaged a few months ago they set a date for a year away.  She's pregnant too, so she got married, changed her name, etc... but is still planning her "real wedding" for the original date that they set.  I find it weird.  The one who has been married longer has been tasting cakes and meeting with vendors and going dress shopping with her bridesmaids.  I don't get how she thinks this is justifiable.
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  • You didn't say, "What did you eat in November?"  to her?
  • A good friend of my sister got married in a small JOP type ceremony in England so that once her student visa ended, they could stay together. It was actually a year or two later that they had their "real" Catholic stateside wedding that her friends and family could attend. Although they were technically married already, a large portion of her family didn't consider their marriage valid until it was done by the church.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-really-annoys-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:9Discussion:be593ff0-67b3-4ef9-8c87-34c3c92f07e7Post:fa2262bf-a42a-4602-9a8f-895ae58e6ba9">Re: This really annoys me</a>:
    [QUOTE]You didn't say, "What did you eat in November?"  to her?
    Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

    I love this idea.
  • I really would have but I don't want to deal with the crazy that would have happened.
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_etiquette_this-really-annoys-me?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:9Discussion:be593ff0-67b3-4ef9-8c87-34c3c92f07e7Post:be5db7b9-8849-4d10-a6a7-5ec91d25218f">Re: This really annoys me</a>:
    [QUOTE]A good friend of my sister got married in a small JOP type ceremony in England so that once her student visa ended, they could stay together. I<strong>t was actually a year or two later that they had their "real" Catholic stateside wedding</strong> that her friends and family could attend. Although they were technically married already, a large portion of her family didn't consider their marriage valid until it was done by the church.
    Posted by lyradimer[/QUOTE]

    No. Your sisters friend had her REAL wedding at the JOP. It's incredibly insulting to say that her wedding wasn't "real" because it wasn't a Catholic wedding.  Visa issues or not, she's an adult who chose to get legally married. She could have waited and had an LDR if she wanted a big wedding.
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  • I don't get the big deal with all of this. There are legal weddings, there are religious weddings, there are weddings that include your friends/families. They can all have different purposes and meanings. I know people who celebrate their birthdays for an entire week each year. If that's what makes someone happy, so be it. Unfriend her or unsubscribe from her statuses if it bugs you. Real is such a subjective term. What if the most important part of the vows to her is that they be said in front of everyone she cares about? What's wrong with wanting to have a public testament of their love? Maybe she didn't understand how important that was to her in the beginning? Just let her have her fun. The world needs more joy and love. It's not like they're asking you to celebrate their (what you believe to be false) anniversary. Who cares.
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