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Addressing Invitation to Widow

calliopeia2013calliopeia2013 member
500 Comments Second Anniversary 25 Love Its Name Dropper
in Wedding Etiquette Forum
My FI's aunt is a widow who has started dating again and is being invited with her long-time boyfriend.  I know the proper form for widows is usually as Mrs. (either with the deceased husband's firstname/lastname, or her first name, his last name, depending on her preference).  But since she's dating again and we're inviting her boyfriend along with her, it feels really weird to address the envelope to Mrs. FI's Aunt and Mr. New Boyfriend.  Does she go back to "Ms." under these circumstances?
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Re: Addressing Invitation to Widow

  • MrsGandthebeagMrsGandthebeag member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker First Anniversary
    Do they live together?  If not, maybe you should send them separate invites and still use "Mrs" for her.  Or you could just ask her like Stage said.
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  • PeledreamsofrainPeledreamsofrain member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    Ms. is always in style, no matter what the marital status of the woman is.
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  • LoopysevenLoopyseven member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 5 Love Its
    I'd use Mrs. her name/last name and leave the deceased husband off the invitation entirely.  

    Putting her and boyfriend on the same line signifies they are married.  The proper address would be:

    Mrs. fi's aunt (whichever version of her name you use)
    Mr. Boyfriend person
    street
    city, state, zip...

    Separate lines, no "and".
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  • Calypso1977Calypso1977 member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 25 Love Its First Answer
    its best to check with her. 

    my mom gets really offended by "ms".   after nearly 12 years of widow-hood, she still goes by mrs. john doe
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  • arendivaarendiva member
    Third Anniversary 100 Comments 5 Love Its
    edited October 2012
    I think Ms. is unoffensive since it makes no statement about marital status at all. I think sending the boyfriend a separate invite could create confusion. couple's should always be on the same invite as they are a social unit. otherwise your aunt may think he isn't invited and he might recieve an invite and not know who's wedding it is. etc etc.
    If it were me I would address it Ms (first name) (last name) & Mr. (boyfirends firstname) (boyfriends lastname). If you are truly concerned that Ms will cause offence you could just do (aunts first name ) (aunts last name) & (boyfirends firstname) (boyfriends lastname) and leave it out entirely. She probably wouldn't even notice.


    ETA: I would actually advice against asking her what she'd prefer. If I were widowed and I have finally started dating and then someone called me up and asked me if I still wanted to be MRS and have my boyfriend listed I would think they were judging me for dating. Even though that is the farthest thing from your mind that is how I would feel. I would feel guilty that i was dating someone that wasn't my former husband. Side note if I recieved an invite that used MRS and had my bf's name on it it would invoke similar feelings of guilt and judgment.  just my 2 cents.
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