Catering Square One (again)

divinemsbee · June 2012

I hope this posts because TK is being super-weird on my computer.

So, I know I asked for opinions on the menu from the caterer a week or so ago, and now everything's in limbo again.

First off, our guest list has boomed from 150 to 250, and while my mother is convinced everyone won't attend, I'm not going to take that bet. Which means that the caterer probably wouldn't be too happy because the whole reason he took our wedding, during one of the most busy weeks of his year, is that there were probably going to be around 100 there. Too much over 150 and he was not going to do it (this is when I had told him the original numbers).

Of course, that might not matter anyway, because when my mom called my aunt today to get some more addresses, my aunt acted like my mom and I had already known that my aunts (there are 4) were planning on doing all of the food and drink prep already. She basically told my mom that "unless they--meaning me and FI--wanted to spend a ton of money" that they were already in planning mode for it. For them, 100 people is Christmas dinner, and they do weddings and funerals and church socials every weekend, so I know they know what they're doing. They're ready for me to give them menu ideas. What sucks about this is that I saw all of them several times before I met with caterers while I was in MS, and while they all said they'd help, I didn't think "help" meant do all the food, I thought it meant help with table decor or something.

However. Without the caterer I wouldn't have anyone set to be there to open up the reception venue or make sure chairs got set up and make sure the tables were done unless the family did it either the night before (we have the venue all weekend and the rehearsal dinner will be there) or showed up really early the day of. I don't want my mom to be losing her mind the day of the wedding. So, I might have to spend the money anyway to hire a DOC for the reception. I also wouldn't have anyone to pack up the food except the aunts, none of whom was planning to stay the night of the wedding in town (they live an hour and a half away). I was thinking they would cut out kind of early and that our friends would want to stay until later, but that would mean making sure that at least some of the family could stay and clean up. Argh.

In ways, I'd love my aunts to do it. I'd know everyone would eat the food and we'd have plenty. It would save us a ton of money, especially if we had more RSVPs than my mom thinks we will. But I don't know if it's worth the hassle. My mom seems to think her job on the wedding day is to stress out over everything so I don't have to, but if she is she won't be able to hide it well and she'll snap at me and I'll snap back (just picturing it in my head).

I'm now thinking of all we could do with the leftover money without a caterer, and it's tempting. What would you guys do?

CN: My aunts had apparently already decided that they were doing food for my wedding and were surprised I had talked to a caterer, which they think is a waste of money. Should I stick with the caterer or let my aunts do it?

calindi · June 2012

For realz, elope. This sounds like one giant stress ball. Is this what you want?

Option two? Talk to caterer about increasing numbers. If he won't take it, hire a new caterer. It sounds like with that guest list, your caterer will drop you or be pissed.

Option three? Cut the guest list so you can keep your caterer and he can do all the work you're mentioning in set-up and clean-up. Put your foot down and tell your Mom you are capping the guest list due to budgetary reasons, and because the caterer has limitations. End. Of. Story.

The problem with hiring a DOC to do set-up and clean-up is it's only one person. One person to do set-up and clean-up for nearly (or over) 200 people is too much work. So having your aunts cook means you're going to stress about set-up and clean-up.

But I'm guessing it'll cause some big drama if you tell them you don't want them to cook, huh?

So again, back to square one - ELOPE!

Mmoray · June 2012

For me, the real stressor would be the clean-up if you chose your aunts. I just wouldn't think they'd want to clean up after 200 people on their neice's wedding day. So, do you know who would have that responsibility in that scenario?

Still, I would probably still go with my aunts because I'm so cheap! Tables and chairs seem like less of a hassle to me, but that's because I'm having a super simple wedding. I would think setting up the night before would be a good option though..if you had the manpower to get it done in a reasonable amount of time. Just how much work are you looking at with that part of things?

I actually just started seriously looking at caterers myself, so I know the prices are extraordinary. When I told Fi, he just looked at me and commented on the 600% mark-up. So..we're not really getting anywhere.

I noticed you're in Mississippi like me. Which caterer are you looking at? It seems strange that they wouldn't want the extra guests if only for the extra profit. I know MS has lots of smaller caterers who are far more reasonable, and the Jackson area has lots of options too, so I wouldn't feel like this guy is the only option. But I suppose that all really depends on what area of the state you are in.

divinemsbee · June 2012

Yeah, I'm not worried about quality of food, it's definitely the set up/clean up that would kill me. I sent my mom an e-mail with a huge list of questions that I want settled before I even start to think of my aunts doing anything. I know that the table and chair people come and set it up for us, they'll also have our linens, however, we're setting up some tables outside on the lawn, so those couldn't be done until the day of. Or, rather, the tables could be set up, but we'd have to leave them overnight and then the centerpieces would have to be done in the morning and left while we're at church. I'm also a little apprehensive about making sure things are set up and decorated the way I'd like them to be. The blessing and curse of them having done so many weddings is that a few things I want to do (no tulle over the doorway, my carved pumpkins on the porch) are seen as really weird and I'd have to make iron-clad sure that they were going to happen if I wasn't there. Whereas when you pay someone, you just say "that there, this here" and it happens, generally.

And, you're right, they'd probably be a little pissy if they didn't do the food, especially because my mom shared with them what the caterer was costing (which is totally within budget, but still a good chunk of change).

Mmoray- We're in Jackson (we live in TX, but the wedding is there), and doing a cocktail style reception because the wedding is at 2pm, so the reception will start about 3. My caterer, right now, is Aven Whittington, he works for Mangia Bene (Broadstreet/Bravo/Sal & Mookie's), and I don't want to knock him because he's awesome and was really good about staying in budget. He's the first person who talked actual numbers with me and he prides himself on creating menus within budget. If you haven't talked to him and are in the Jackson area, I'd highly recommend him. The reason he can't do a larger wedding is that Mangia Bene does a huge amount of food for Mistletoe Marketplace every year, and it's over the same week that my wedding is, so anything bigger than about 125 and he just wouldn't have the energy for it or people to work it. ---I hope that was okay for me to type, if I need to delete I will, just trying to be helpful!

Everyone else I talked to was at least twice what he proposed. With him I just said, "I have this much of the budget left and I still need X,Y,and Z in addition to catering, can we make that happen?" and he said absolutely.

Mmoray · June 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_military-brides_catering-square-one-again?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special%20Topic%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:13Discussion:0e8415a5-ee61-4da7-b9aa-ce31f5529b06Post:185ab094-1baf-4c55-aca7-8cbb5b170638">Re: Catering Square One (again)</a>:
[QUOTE]Mmoray- We're in Jackson (we live in TX, but the wedding is there), and <strong>doing a cocktail style reception because the wedding is at 2pm</strong>, so the reception will start about 3. My caterer, right now, is Aven Whittington, he works for Mangia Bene (Broadstreet/Bravo/Sal & Mookie's), and I don't want to knock him because he's awesome and was really good about staying in budget. He's the first person who talked actual numbers with me and he prides himself on creating menus within budget. If you haven't talked to him and are in the Jackson area, I'd highly recommend him. The reason he can't do a larger wedding is that Mangia Bene does a huge amount of food for Mistletoe Marketplace every year, and it's over the same week that my wedding is, so anything bigger than about 125 and he just wouldn't have the energy for it or people to work it. ---I hope that was okay for me to type, if I need to delete I will, just trying to be helpful! Everyone else I talked to was at least twice what he proposed. With him I just said, "I have this much of the budget left and I still need X,Y,and Z in addition to catering, can we make that happen?" and he said absolutely.
Posted by divinemsbee[/QUOTE]

<div>That's the same thing we're doing (cocktail reception after a 2pm ceremony)! And I'll definitely look into him. I think the unwillingness to talk numbers upfront has been the most frustrating part of this whole process, so that impresses me right off. Thanks for the recommendation! </div>

Catering Square One (again)

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