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May 2012 Weddings

Bachelorette "stay in" party gone wrong...

I am so mortified from last night. I don't even know where to start with this story. My MOH really wanted to have a bachelorette party for me and I didn't want to do the whole bar scene so we decided a passion party would be fun.

I went straight from work to help make the food and I made a stop at the liquor store to purchase all the booze we would/may need. Everything was going great but as the night went on, my MOH had gotten so drunk every other word was the F-word, she was bashing my fiance (her brother in law) and telling me I had no idea how to please him sexually. She literally wanted me to give head to a banana...in front of my boss. Yes, my boss was there. She is amazing and did spend the most money as well as great with not being judgey, but I just was not ready for so many details about ME to be thrown in the open or questioned.

After all of that talk, my MOH then started yelling to everyone about my weight and how I want to lose two more pounds for my dress fitting, she tried to lift up my shirt to show everyone my stomach. She said she wanted to punch me in the face for being skinny and could not understand why I don't feel perfect. She also told everyone there that my FI wants me to lose weight...my boss pulled me aside and questioned this. There is not a chance in hell my FI would ever tell me to lose weight and could not believe that she would even say this. I am extremely uncomfortable about anything with weight and previously struggled with an eating disorder for 8 years. Until this point I had kept it a secret from everyone but then just exploded and yelled it out. Dead silence. Great...

Not for long was the stillness in the air because before you know it, there is broken glass on the floor and my MOH is falling over trying to pick up the pieces. Another friend and I cleaned everything up as my MOH continues to yell. We took all the rugs that had tiney pieces of glass to the garage when the other girls were said they were so sorry for me and that no one thinks badly of my fi or I. They were then ready to leave with the rest of the guests.

At this point I (the sober one) cried. All of my secrets or things that I prefer to keep private are out there for all my co-workers to see. I do love them and they were super supportive by asking if I needed help with anything and helped me clean up. They felt so bad that they were checking up on me afterwards and could not believe how the night ended.

They didn't get to witness the last part when she called her husband screaming about where her child was...she had put him in bed earlier that night but had no memory of it. I understand that everyone has their crazy drunken moments but I was not expecting this for my "bachelorette party".


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Re: Bachelorette "stay in" party gone wrong...

  • edited April 2012
    OMG...I'm so sorry! I can't believe she acted that way! Is she normally the one to get so drunk? I hope that she apologizes and that you are able to talk about things before the wedding. I wouldnt have handled things quite as well as you did :/
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  • Oh my goodness, I am so sorry!  I hope that she has a horrible hangover and feels really guilty.  Hang in there, you're almost there.  Maybe another friend can plan another little something for you, so you have better memories of your BP.

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  • OMG! What a rotten thing to do! I am so sorry this happened. It sounds like you handled it with grace. I don't think I would have. I hope she suffers the worst hangover ever and when he realizes what she did was completely inexcusable, she kisses your ass and applogizes. I would keep her away from the liquor at the wedding .
  • How mortifying.  I am so sorry!  I think she is going to feel awful about everything this morning. 
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  • My FI and I were just talking about how she is going to be at the wedding and what kind of speech she may give. She is my future sister-in-law, we both married/are marrying brothers.

    We also talked about how she wants to do a shower as well at the end of the month however I feel like once again, I am going to be the one paying for everything. I think I would rather save my money and embarrassment.


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  • edited April 2012
    Wow, sorry to hear how she ruined your night.  That sounds terrible.

    I'm sure you feel embarassed personally, but I think the rest of your guests were thinking of how immature & insecure your MOH was and how awful it was that she was ruining YOUR night, not anything bad about you.

    I have a friend who pulls stunts exactly like this when there is drinking involved.  She is a very, very insecure individual and it comes out when she gets drunk - all she does is put other people down, even making things up.  I guess my point is I wouldn't take anything your MOH said seriously - it sounds to me like her insecurity might be rearing it's ugly head because she is jealous of all the attention you are getting surrounding the wedding.  

    Like I said before, unfortunately I think enough people know a person who acts like this to understand that you have to take everything she says while drinking with a grain of salt.  If your MOH is anything like my friend, she'll have strong denial of anything that she said and won't say anything to do besides "wow, I was so drunk at your b-party, I don't remember anything, lol" as a way to avoid having to apologize.  However, I'd be blunt with her that you were extremely upset and embarassed by her behavior.  Last time my friends saw our "friend" was the last straw in a string of unacceptable nights involving alcohol.  We called her out on her bullsh#t via e-mail.  I was shocked when she admitted fault, apologized, and said she wanted to get help for her problem (as opposed to flat out denial & rage of being accused of something so terrible, which is what I 100% anticipated).

    Part of the reason why I am telling you this is because we are already invited this person to our wedding, and we too had to decide what to do.  Luckily she declined the invite, but if she was going to accept I was going to write her an email up front pretty much to the effect of she has to behave herself otherwise I would have her escorted out of the wedding.  I was going to go so far as to give her photo to my DOC to keep an eye out for her.

    You guys are in a little bit more difficult situation as she is MOH, but I'd call her out in person or in a letter if she isn't the type to let you finish speaking.  If you don't feel comfortable with her giving a toast, don't let her.  I'd also inform her that if she starts to act this way in any way/shape/form at your wedding that she'll be escorted out.  Ruining your b-party is one thing, but ruining your wedding would be even more terrible.

    I'll PM a copy of the letter we sent to our friend, just in case you decide to do something like that.  My other friends (BMs) joke that it was our "magnificent manifesto" after years of this type of behavior.  Hope it works out for you!
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  • I got nothin' except I'm so sorry.  Wow.  Just wow.
  • Holy crap. I am SO sorry you went through that. It sounds like you handled it really well for what was going on around you, because I would have thrown a fit probably.

    Seriously I am so sorry and I hope your MOH realizes what a fool she made of herself because you don't deserve that!!
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  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_may-2012-weddings_bachelorette-stay-in-party-gone-wrong?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:f0ca0bc1-9255-4120-8042-b40e7f3e99c5Discussion:b807ad1b-fb82-429b-8dbb-88258195b229Post:ab5867e0-1e30-45fb-90f0-91ee0bd79262">Re: Bachelorette "stay in" party gone wrong...</a>:
    [QUOTE]<strong>Wow, sorry to hear how she ruined your night.  That sounds terrible. I'm sure you feel embarassed personally, but I think the rest of your guests were thinking of how immature & insecure your MOH was and how awful it was that she was ruining YOUR night, not anything bad about you. </strong>
    Posted by AurorasEnvy[/QUOTE]

    I definitely agree with this. I'm sorry you had such a bad experience. I'd talk to your MOH once she sobers up because what she did was completely out of line.
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  • I am so sorry! That is horrible! Like PPs have mentioned she is the one that looks like a fool, not you.
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  • Sorry to hear about this! That sucks! I agree with pp about keeping her away from alchohol. If shes your MOH presumibly you are pretty good friends (when shes not drinking), so I would call her and tell her that she really hurt you by her behaviour, and that you expect her to stay sober if she intends to plan other events/give toasts. I dont think a shower is a big thing to worry about, they usually are not 'pre-drinking lets get drunk events', but you might want to make sure to limit the alchohol is shes getting ready with you on the wedding day and let her husband knowwhat happened and see if you can get him on your side if he is coming to the wedding to keep tabs on her alchohol intake at the wedding.

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  • I am so sorry you had to go through this.  But it absolutely sounds like you handled the situation so gracefully.  Kudos to you because I think I might have ended up in jail for hitting her!  LOL  
  • i am so sorry about this.  I hope she doesn't get drunk for any other parties or your wedding
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  • Aww I'm so sorry...alcohol can bring the devil out in people!
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  • ...wow. kind of sounds like it was a party for her. I'm SO sorry it happened that way :(  has your MOH said anything to you since that night?
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  • My MOH called Saturday and was all excited and asked if I had fun... I told her no, it didn't really go how I had imagined. I was trying to see if she had any idea what happened towards the end, apparently not. I talked to some of the people who talked to her and they said she has no idea what happened...awkward!
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