XP - Bachelorette Party - What's reasonable?

cjack14 · February 2012

This is my first time being in a wedding party in the US. I'm the MOH and have taken on planning the bachelorette and bridal showers with help from some of the other BMs.

My bride has an unlimited budget for the wedding, but unfortunately her BMs/friends do not. She has requested a bachelorette weekend in Vegas. She has also given me a guest list of 20+ girls. There is airfare, hotel, food, drinks, shows, nights out to consider for all the attendees, plus some of the bride's expenses to be split. Most of the girls will only be an hour flight away, but some are coming from across country. Regardless the weekend will cost a bit of money for everyone involved.

As the hosts of the bachelorette weekend, am I and the other BMs within our right to ask the bride to either scale down her expectations (ie, not Vegas, and keep it 'local' withing California), or if we do go to Vegas, can we reduced her guest list (at least one of the bachelorette invitees is not invited to the ceremony, which seems tacky to me)? 20+ people attempting to coordinate anything in Vegas just seems like a huge mess.

saharnshard · February 2012

I would definitely go over the logistics with her and tell her that something so big and extravagant isn't in your budget. Come up with a couple of other options before you talk to her, and hopefully she'll be willing to compromise.

HobokensFury · February 2012

The bride doesn't get to plan or dicatate her own b party. Put your foot down.

Ashleydia · February 2012

Whoa.....she's being unreasonable. I went to Vegas for my bachelorette and it was just me and 3 of my best friends. Of course, I would have wanted all my friends there. But I told all my friends that there were all invited but I completely understood how expensive it was. In the end, only 3 people could realy afford it. (I live in TN, so it was airfare, hotel, etc) We had an unbelievable time, just the 4 of us.

Then, when I got home, my friend threw me another bachelorette party in town that everyone could go to. We just had sushi and went out downtown, nothing big. Maybe you all could do something like that?

To me, 20 people going to Vegas is a disaster!!!! How would you even keep up with everyone? And I'm sorry, Vegas is the most expensive place ever. A drink at a bar is about $15. I think it's really unrealistic to expect everyone to spend that kind of money.

Kacie209 · February 2012

I think you have every right to tell your friend that you can't plan something this extravegant. I have a friend who is dead set on having her bachelorette party in Vegas - whenever that day may come. Her and I even planned another friends bach. party a few years back and that was one of her ideas. I told her that a lot of people wouldn't have been able to afford that so we needed to think of something else, ha. What we ended up doing was classy and fun. We did ask for about $20 from the other bridesmaids to offest some costs, but for the most part her and I chipped in the most. I don't think it's tacky to ask for assistance. The party is for the bride, no should have a problem helping if they know in advance.

If it's a weekend away, maybe find an nice but inexpensive spa to go to for an afternoon, get dinner somewhere nice and go out to a nice bar. Depending on how old you all are, I think you get an age where some of the younger bach. party stuff isn't as important (suck for a buck, strippers, other bar games for money, etc).

XP - Bachelorette Party - What's reasonable?

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