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Should she be a BM?

claire_9claire_9
10 Comments
in Moms and Maids
I have a really good friend who I want to ask to be a bridesmaid in my wedding. The only thing is, she is just so negative. I told her we were thinking of an October wedding, and immediatley she asks 'why are you rushing things?' and she thinks I shoudl have a 'five year engagement'. She doesn't have a problem with my fiance or anything, and iI know they get along well, but she is always so negative. She is in her mid thirties and has never had the desire to get married or anything. She is very independent.

She is really improtant to me, and we never argue, and I would love to have her in my wedding, but should she be there? Do you think she would act this way the whole time until the wedding?

Thanks.
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Re: Should she be a BM?

  • joyfulhappy1joyfulhappy1
    10 Comments
    Best to not have her as a BM, you want to surround yourself with others who will help you plan and celebrate one of the most important days of your life the beginning of your new married life. Just invite her as a guest or ask her to help you with something for your wedding
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  • bvanostenbvanosten member
    10 Comments
    I wouldn't ask her.  Or, ask her to do a reading.  You don't need someone bringing you down every step of the way.  You want people that will be excited for you and make your day better, not that you have to tiptoe around whenever wedding plans come up.  A BM has to be too involved.  She'll complain about the money, the time, the shower, bachelorette, the dress, etc.  Surround yourself with positive people and limit your time talking wedding with her.
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  • graysquirrelgraysquirrel member
    2500 Comments 5 Love Its Combo Breaker
    BMs should be your closest friends, no the people who are the best planners or yes-men as the industry would have you believe. Pick the people that mean the most to you, people you'd like to honor. If she is one of those people, then I would ask her.

    As you plan, you will find that everyone comes out of the woodwork to offer advice and make comments. Nobody is going to have the same idea of a perfect wedding and people will project their likes and dislikes onto you. The best thing to do is to keep your plans away from their reach. If she is someone who readily gives opinions you don't want to hear, then don't share with her-- it will save a lot of headache later.
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  • mialorrainemialorraine member
    10 Comments
    If she is truly a good friend, then I would say "yes". This is a person who will stand up with you at your wedding and be a part of it 100%. The question you have to ask yourself is if you can 1) handle her negativity during an incredibly stressful time, or 2) can you talk to her about how her negativity makes you feel, and ask if she can change her outlook for this important time in your life. In my experience, being a bride is stressful enough and having negative or finneky bridesmaids makes it even worse.
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  • kaitlyn&henrykaitlyn&henry member
    100 Comments
    If youre waivering about it....and asking us, then dont ask her. BMs are those that support you and are your nearest and dearest. They are the ones that are happy for you no matter what!
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